need some advice, how to remove someone!

kronas

floss2 wrote: »

Sorry for your loss.

Floss x

thanks, it never stops hurting, ive just been crying, thinking....

floss2 wrote: »

Just a thought - did your mum leave a will? If not, can I assume your brother has ben left a share of the family home - is he trying to force a sale to recover the value of his share? If this is so, I would suggest you contact a solicitor & arrange for a half-hour free session to clarify whether this can be done - especially bearing in mind your grandmother's age & frailty and you & your dad's illnesses.

Age Concern will be able to advise on benefits for your grandmother, and also may be able to give advice for any other support for her & her carer (your sister).

:grouphug:

Floss x

no at the moment nobody has ownership, no will etc, my dad is abroad due to all the stress (wife died) and my brother compunding it, to be honest i had the police around they said (we cant do anything, just because you dont get on with someone)

D4WNO wrote: »

Surely it's none of your brothers business whether the house is sold or not if it belongs to your father? You would probably have more money to go round the rest of the family if he moved out, it's amazing how much 1 person costs in bills etc. I dont imagine he does his own food shopping each week judging my his character description that you have given us?
??

he says hes thinking about the future, it sounds to me hes trying to cover his rear end, there is a mortgage left which is not a huge amount per say, ive already said to everyone that we need to show restraint when he hands his begging bowl out, but family is family, but hes leeched all his life!

D4WNO wrote: »

Maybe the CAB can advise? Another thing to check on is to ensure that you are all receiving the illness benefits that you should be along with your grandmother, does she receive anything additional due to age? (Someone else can probably advise on what you should be entitled to)

i tried ringing them but no one seems to be there to answer, i might have to pop down to a local (ish) one, once my health is more stable, hes causing me to get worse!

D4WNO wrote: »

Your dad is more than entitled to kick him out. Could you have the locks changed whilst he is out at his fortnightly visit to the Job Centre to sign on??

hes threatened to torch the place, kill every one of us, i always thought he was a screwdriver short of a fullset but he has shown his true colours.

Loretta wrote: »

I would say that your income is secure or could be. You have told him what you think and he hasn't listened, on to stage 2!

Of course he is going to fight you all the way he is on to a good thing, these sort of people always say that you couldn't manage without him.

Get some advice, or put more details on here and someone will be able to advise you. Tell us ages, what all your health problems are, are they long term or may any of you be alright in a while?

Is grandmother getting all she is entitiled to, are you all getting everything available. With this nuisance of a brother sticking his oar in it is prbably making everything difficult to manage and think things through.

due to my mothers death income has fallen, my mother used to look after her mother (my grandmother) so obviously someone else had to step in to help the 76 year old!

Loretta wrote: »

It sounds as if your brother thinks if the house is sold he may get a lump sum, I should make it quite clear that whether the house is sold or not that will not happen.

he has never shown any interest in 'putting in' to the family, i have tried to do that and will continue to do so as much as i can, i get on with everyone apart from him, hes always demanding things, money, food, yet he squarely turns around and comes out with 'we have to stick together, thats what family do' yet hes only contributed a handful of times moneywise, and he never helped his own mother, hes destroyed things in the house, prevented my mother from providing nice things so she could atleast be proud of having a clean, nice looking house!

Loretta wrote: »

Give us more details, I am sure something can be done to make life easier.

If you know exactly what your position is you are in a much stronger position to deal with idle brother

thanks, let me know about what you need to know!

margaretclare wrote: »

You said it's brother who wants to sell, not dad - but who actually owns it?

And if brother wants to sell, where is he proposing that you all should live after it's sold? Is he just thinking of money in his own pocket?


Margaret

he wants to move abroad, build a house on the cheap, live off the rest!

margaretclare wrote: »

I am not sure of this 'no vacancies' claim, when we are told that foreigners can come here and find work that others don't want to do. I should sympathise with the plight of anyone unable to find work - I can only look back and remember myself, in my late 50s, redundant and widowed in the years 1992-1997 and doing any menial job that appeared, no matter how much I hated it. There's my eldest GD, 2 years ago was homeless, jobless and penniless, and how she has clawed her way back up.
Margaret

yes but hes very 'specific' about what job he does, i wish i could work instead of being at home all the time, but my problems (schizo-affective/fibroymaligia/panic/anxiety makes it difficult to even be around freinds, i have to lock myself away for a week at a time because life gets too much and i go 'off' in my head.

Loretta

You need some proper legal advice as soon as possible.

Someone does own this house - who?

If your mother died your father must have/should have sorted this out?

Are you sure that there is a mortgage, no life insurance?

Were your parents joint owners? where they married?

Do you or anyone else in the family have any kind of social worker, phsychiatric nurse?

Where is the income coming into the house come from? Does father have a job? does grandmother have a pension? do you have any kind of sickness benefit? does you sister have any income and if so where does it come from? what are you all living on?

You cannot live with these threats from your brother while he behaving like this you will not be able to think straight

Are you originally from another country and perhaps not know how the benefit and support system in this country works?

Tell us as much as you can and someone on here will be able to help

Benny24

If he is making threats to torch the house and kill all of you in it, and you take it seriously then that is a serious matter and he should be spoken to by the police.
Make it clear to them you fear for the safety of yourself and your family. they are duty bound to deal with it.

Poppycat

yes how about selling your pc you numpety as your a nasty low life spammer

Sorry to OP its this spammer promoting his site all on mse

ranjit328 wrote: »

Could you give us a bit more info?

kay41_2

what was that last post about - did I miss something?

Kronas - I feel great sympathy with you, we have a family member who thinks the world owes them a living. It makes my blood boil. It does sound as if your brother is perhaps suffering some form of grief following your mother's sad death. Grief can manifest itself in all sorts of ways. He certainly does sound a bit unstable, and it must be very frustrating. He cannot be a happy person living like this? To threaten to torch the house and kill the family is a bit more than the words of a 'lazy' person. It's amazing what people think they can get away with. You have been given good advice here re benefits and CAB. I don't have much to add except that I hope you and your other family members find the strength to deal with him and that he takes notice. Has he ever been to the doctor with mental health issues. Sorry if that sounds blunt, but he does sound a bit deluded to think that this is what life is about. Good luck

Pink_butterfly_3

My first thought would be to wait till he goes out (surely he must go out somewhere) and then put his crap on the front lawn and change the locks.

If he continues to make threats then it is definately time to get the police involved.

Poppycat

ranjit328 is a nasty spammer posting spam about that get rich crappy site on forums.

kay41 wrote: »

what was that last post about - did I miss something?

kronas

margaretclare wrote: »

Yes, he is threatening arson and murder.

Just had a thought - make sure your buildings and contents insurance is up to date.

We had a major house fire in 1986 - not caused intentionally!! - but I don't know what we'd have done if we hadn't been fully-insured.

Margaret

until two months ago nobody in the house knew we had buildings insurance nobody seems to have a clue about anything, so when im having a good day i check things, as far as i know no life insurance with my dad, canceled when father was made redundant after 25 years of service, then lost his health.

kay41 wrote: »

what was that last post about - did I miss something?

Kronas - I feel great sympathy with you, we have a family member who thinks the world owes them a living. It makes my blood boil. It does sound as if your brother is perhaps suffering some form of grief following your mother's sad death. Grief can manifest itself in all sorts of ways. He certainly does sound a bit unstable, and it must be very frustrating. He cannot be a happy person living like this? To threaten to torch the house and kill the family is a bit more than the words of a 'lazy' person. It's amazing what people think they can get away with. You have been given good advice here re benefits and CAB. I don't have much to add except that I hope you and your other family members find the strength to deal with him and that he takes notice. Has he ever been to the doctor with mental health issues. Sorry if that sounds blunt, but he does sound a bit deluded to think that this is what life is about. Good luck

he has been like this for as long as i can remember, but it soon starts taking its toll on you, its a form of abuse really.thanks everyone so far, sorry to dump all this on everyone in the new year, im just tired of life etc, it just gets on top!p>do you know what makes my blood boil ? when my mother was on her death bed, me, my sister, and grandmother had to help her get back in to bed, he walked straight through the room and never even looked at her! yes he knew she had terminal cancer which prevented her from eating!and to make matters worse he was trying to plan a funeral and my mum found out before she was even dead!

Loretta

kronas wrote: »

until two months ago nobody in the house knew we had buildings insurance nobody seems to have a clue about anything, so when im having a good day i check things, as far as i know no life insurance with my dad, canceled when father was made redundant after 25 years of service, then lost his health.


he has been like this for as long as i can remember, but it soon starts taking its toll on you, its a form of abuse really.thanks everyone so far, sorry to dump all this on everyone in the new year, im just tired of life etc, it just gets on top!p>do you know what makes my blood boil ? when my mother was on her death bed, me, my sister, and grandmother had to help her get back in to bed, he walked straight through the room and never even looked at her! yes he knew she had terminal cancer which prevented her from eating!and to make matters worse he was trying to plan a funeral and my mum found out before she was even dead!

Please let us know how you are getting on