Seriously in debt, this forum looks like it might help?

Grumpelstiltskin

The worst way to go  about it is to rush into a 'solution' too soon.

Debt collection doesn't happen quickly you have to be prepared for the long haul.

You have been advised to do a SOA then we can see our financial position and we can advise you the best way forward, but as you have been advised your wife will find out sooner or later so think very carefully before you jump into a solution.

Emmia

shadowfortress said:

fatbelly said:

Your point (3) indicates you are intending not to pay creditors and hoping to settle by full and final settlement. That is a brave strategy and I am not saying that you shouldn't go for it.

However, a more subtle variation of that, and one that I think would suit your circumstances, is to get the defaults, make pro-rata payments, possibly using a third party charity, but continue to save on the side with a view to making f&f offers somewhere down the line.

A statement of affairs would shed more light

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

What is the best way to go about it? Am I missing a step that people on here advise?

Please fill out the SOA. That will let experienced people on here advise on your best course of action / next steps 

MEM62

shadowfortress said:

MEM62 said:

shadowfortress said:

The only thing is that my wife cannot know about this. 

Be under no illusion, she will find out.  As has already been pointed out, you are financially linked and your defaults will have a impact on her credit standing.  There will also be that stray letter or piece of correspondence that she will see, that query that arises when you apply of a different mortgage lender.  Something will give the game away and, frankly, the fact is it would be better coming from you - up front.  

Hi. The only point we are financially linked is the mortgage. Assuming we go with the same mortgage provider when we need to refinance, in what other ways will she be affected?

I thought any credit card searches or personal loans she does on her own is not connected to my credit file? I would appreciate an explanation as to what I am not understanding.

As has been pointed out, her credit standing will be negatively impacted by her financial association with you.  She is likely to notice.  Also, it may prove difficult for you to ensure that you renew you mortgage with your current lender.  You wife may want to explore the wider market.     

shadowfortress

Hi everyone. After some busy days I was able to do a Statement of affairs. Please find it below

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 2259

Partners monthly income after tax....... 0

Benefits................................ 0

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2259[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 0

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 169

Electricity............................. 150

Gas..................................... 0

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 28.2

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 65

TV Licence.............................. 14.2

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0

Internet Services....................... 34.99

Groceries etc. ......................... 100

Clothing................................ 10

Petrol/diesel........................... 80

Road tax................................ 30.62

Car Insurance........................... 78.78

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50

Car parking............................. 10

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 10

Buildings insurance..................... 28.62

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 78.15

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0

Haircuts................................ 15

Entertainment........................... 20

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0

Lessons for children.................... 32

Subscriptions TV/Amazon................. 34.44

Giving.................................. 100

Savings................................. 300

Another Country Uni Loan repayment...... 300[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1749[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 800

House value (Gross)..................... 350000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 8000

Other assets............................ 1000[b]

Total Assets............................ 359800[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 170000...(0)........2.1[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 170000....-.........-   [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

American Express...............3800......140.......87.8

MNBA...........................2500......80........23.99

Barclays.......................3800......120.......27.9

AA Personal Loan...............30000.....473.......0

Sainsburys.....................5200......150.......0

Natwest........................9800......180.......22.9[b]

Total unsecured debts..........55100.....1143......-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 2,259

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,749

Available for debt repayments........... 510

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,143[b]

Amount short for making debt repayments. -633[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 359,800

Total HP & Secured debt................. -170,000

Total Unsecured debt.................... -55,100[b]

Net Assets.............................. 134,700[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

ManyWays

OK, so some of the "missing" lines are because your partner pays, I assume, so can you repost the SOA with a note against all of those, or a lot of people may be telling you you have to have more money for clothes, groceries, child costs, presents etc

One of the best reasons for telling your partner is you two really are in this together. At the moment she may be spending on things she would agree arent necessary if she knew the real picture.

shadowfortress

Update: Update: I will be requiring a £8k gift from a family member in a few weeks. Due to the high interest rate, I will pay off the Amex card. I will also pay off the Barclays card since my bank account is with Barclays. Does this sound like the best initial plan of action? Finally, I rang Sainsbury's bank last night and they have given me a 30 day breathing space period.

MattMattMattUK

shadowfortress said:

Update: Update: I will be requiring a £8k gift from a family member in a few weeks. Due to the high interest rate, I will pay off the Amex card. I will also pay off the Barclays card since my bank account is with Barclays. Does this sound like the best initial plan of action? Finally, I rang Sainsbury's bank last night and they have given me a 30 day breathing space period.

Are you planning on defaulting on any debts?

If not then those would probably make most sense and put £800 into an emergency fund, but if you are planning on defaulting then that is different.

londoner2019

How were the debts accrued? Overspending on family stuff? Gambling? Personal spends? (No shame here, but it will impact how you can cut back on things). If it's for household stuff, she'll need to know those things won't be available any more. 

Same thing on mortgage renewal - what if she finds a better deal elsewhere? What's the plan for convincing her to stay with current provider and paying more?

+1 to pretty much everyone on this board. Tell your partner. I had the same fear, but my partner was fantastic and really helped me out.

EssexHebridean

Is the £8k actually a gift or is there an expectation of it being paid back? You can't borrow your way out of debt. 

Be really careful negotiating effective "payment holidays" on accounts too - that can lead to AP markers, which you want to avoid. 

shadowfortress

MattMattMattUK said:

shadowfortress said:

Update: Update: I will be requiring a £8k gift from a family member in a few weeks. Due to the high interest rate, I will pay off the Amex card. I will also pay off the Barclays card since my bank account is with Barclays. Does this sound like the best initial plan of action? Finally, I rang Sainsbury's bank last night and they have given me a 30 day breathing space period.

Are you planning on defaulting on any debts?

If not then those would probably make most sense and put £800 into an emergency fund, but if you are planning on defaulting then that is different.

I have no idea what I'll be doing, that's why I am here! I thought I could, once my Statement of Affairs are looked at, get some advice on what the best practical step is.