Teetering on the brink

EatingBeans

Oh yes, every one of the staff at my pharmacist is lovely. Bless them, they have seen me at my best and worse, and always seem to know the best thing to say. Even when I was having a complete meltdown due to the PTSD in a shop full of people! Trying to explain that I’ll be fine if you just give it a minute is very difficult when you’re in full PTSD triggered mode but they got it. Thankfully, I am mentally in a much better place now (honest!), it is just my body seems to want to physically give up quite a lot. Their response this time is to call me every couple of weeks to check in on me! Very sweet. 

Yesterday was a bit up and down tbh. Work was crazy busy and at 5:10pm I gave up and told my manager we would have to continue our lengthy debate today, as I needed to just stop. I turned off the computer and lay down on my bed for a while. It wasn’t really bad as I could actually stay conscious, I was just physically unable to stay upright. dd2 joined me for a chat (which she often does now) and I soon got up again. McDs consumed, I had a bath and tried to understand what on earth it going on in the world. I knew I’d gone too far off topic when I found myself googling for a brief history of Singapore! It is funny how I hated History so much when I was younger but the older I get the more interested I become in how what happens today is influenced by history. The best bit is, there is just so much to learn! Anyway, slight tangent into history later, I discovered it had gotten pretty late  (and yet I was still awake!), so I quickly washed up and mopped the kitchen floor as the dogs had left muddy paw prints everywhere from playing in the garden. I call that a success as I managed to do a bit of housework and not feel like I was going to keel over. 👍 dd2 (now also known in our house as the Friday Fairy), was obviously very pleased as the more I do in the week, the easier her job is come the end of the week. She gets paid to do the things I haven’t managed myself, not clean all week. To start with I felt pretty bad for asking but actually I think the whole arrangement is doing her the world of good. Throughout her whole life she has always been the messiest person in our household, not out of naughtiness, she just doesn’t see the chaos. But now, being the person who is actually doing the bulk of the cleaning, (and realising how annoying it is to clean something and have it messy again 5minutes later), she is starting finally see the mess! Now, once she gets a proper job and I finally take everything back over, I suspect it will be a lot easier to get her to keep on top of her stuff because she will be able to appreciate the effort that goes into keeping the house in order a bit more. If only I’d have done this years ago! 🤣

On to today. It’s going to be another busy one. I’m already ready for work and just going to drink my coffee before I start. The pups have been for their morning play in the garden. The dry weather means I leave the gate open and they can run their laps and dive under the big conifers at the bottom which they love, (big dog turned this into a den last year by removing all the lower branches in his way and digging it out until it was just to his satisfaction!). I love giving them the freedom to play, although little dog is like a springbok and I found her on top of the compost heap yesterday so stopping her from jumping the low fence is going to be a nightmare. Thankfully, I think she is less inclined at the moment which is good as the top of the compost heap is right up against, and level with, the low fence so it was as easy for her to jump into next door’s garden as it was for her to jump down into ours. 🤦‍♀️ I deliberately built it next to the low fence as big dog can’t clear that height without a run up and the shed blocks that, but little dog can apparently just jump from stationary it seems. New plan needed! 

But not now. Now it is time to add slido to my slides for a session I am giving later this morning. I hate feeling so unprepared for things. I just have to remind myself that for better or worse the day will end, and either way I will learn something from it. I just hope the potential 100 people showing up are kind to me and forgive any technical glitches! 😬 

Time to get cracking. Hope you all have a good day. 👋

EatingBeans

Well I am glad that’s over. Just 60ish people showed up in the end. Not the best thing I have ever delivered, but it served its purpose and quite a few joined in on the Slido so it ticked the interactive box. Manager is happy so that’s what matters. My face is killing me though. Too much talking. Time for a brief lie down, food, and then time to tackle more apprenticeship work. 👍

EatingBeans

So I’ve barely had lunch and I got a quick call from Head of Delivery Management asking if I will help with Scrum Master support for our Digital Strategy work. So, another totally new team to start with, oh and by the way, they’ve decided not to continue the contract of the external resource that was looking after it and they leave today. 🤣 Got to just love the amount of notice I get! I am sure it will be interesting being a fly on the wall for some of these discussions! lol

SuzeQStan

Well done on the presentation - sounds like the company you work for is a bit of a whirlwind though 😳 but it also sounds like you thrive on that - so they are very lucky to have you x

EatingBeans

My gosh I woke up feeling awful again this morning. So much so that I asked dd1 to make my coffee and breakfast as I struggled to even sit up again. Once the coffee kicked in I was able to stand and made myself another cup in the vague hope that it would make me functional enough to work. I managed to make it past the most important meetings but by lunchtime I really couldn’t work. I stole a pasta pot from dd1’s fridge (I never ever normally do this btw but I really wasn’t able up to standing to make anything), and flopped back onto my bed. 

I am marginally better now but I am pleased to say that I have started on the Folic acid/B12 tablets so hopefully I will be at least heading in the right direction. I was relieved to find out that a deficiency in Folic acid can also be caused by the tablets I take for my Trigeminal Neuralgia. This is good news for me as it made no sense to me to be deficient purely based on my diet because I actually eat pretty well (takeaways aside), compared to a lot of people I know. Now I can see a cause, I feel less stressed. 

badmemory

I think I will mention about folic acid to my sister as she has TN.  Knowing her though she will already know.  Still better to do it & be told I know than not to say anything & have to admit later I could have told her.

EatingBeans

I can understand that. Better to be told twice than not at all. I wish someone had mentioned it to me! I’ve heard B12 mentioned a few times but never B9(Folic acid). TN is bad enough without adding this on top! 

EatingBeans

Exciting news on the money front - my latest Current Account switch has gone through today. 🎉 That should mean I get the £175 switching bonus in the next 10days. 😁

The other great thing about this switch going through is that everything is now in its ‘correct’ place according to my DFW plan. It will make it a lot simpler to keep track and see my progress. 👍

badmemory

Thankfully hers does not seem to be as bad as yours although it was very bad originally.  But I remember how it was & would not wish that on anyone.  I do hope yours will take a back seat in the not too distant future.

EatingBeans

Well, today will be another no spend day, but sadly that’s because it’s also another feeling ill/weak day. 😕 No work again for me. I really do help the Folic Acid supplements work quickly! 

The worst bit is I am all alone feeling like death today.  dd1 has left for college and starts her new job later, so I won’t see her until tomorrow, and dd2 was packed off for her DofE expedition at 6am this morning. I still have two bouncy labradors, plus two cats to now also look after, and the ever demanding guineas to remind me when it’s actually bed time of course. I’ve said I will have both cats and sleep in dd2’s bed tonight as little cat is almost certainly going to get very stressy without dd2 around. In the meantime I have dragged my duvet as far as the sofa so the puppies can do their own thing for the day and I can keep an eye on them while I rest. Knowing big dog he will spend the day laying on top of me grumbling at little dog to make sure she behaves. 🤣

Number one goal today is to drink lots of water because I am feeling actively dehydrated. Lord knows why since I didn’t even manage 1,000 steps yesterday, although my Fitbit did also tell me I also clocked up half an hour of cardio/vigorous exercise (when I literally walked up the stairs and sat on dd’s bed!). In normal times I would think the Fitbit was wrong but I actually felt like I had done a workout too! 

I’ve got to get better soon, I’m missing all the nice weather and I’ve got lots of gardening to do!