Teetering on the brink

ellenvan

Glad to hear you are feeling a little better.

Enjoy your lunch out.

Cherryfudge

Good to hear you are back on your feet and the dogs are aware. 😊 Was the hip problem picked up while you were in hospital? If not (i.e. you can't be sure what's going on), perhaps let your GP know. It rings the odd (maybe not appropriate) alarm bell for me as my Mum damaged her hip in a fall and it later broke when she turned in bed! That said, she had osteoporosis, which will have made it more fragile.

Your poor dog, stuck half way through the door! That made me smile. I hope he's got over the fear now. Perhaps a paw slipped a bit on the laminate? Would some card over the gap help him?

daisy_1571

It Could be definitely he has injured something. Dogs don't grip flooring very well and laminate is the worst although I know lots of owners get it cos its easy for them to sweep, for a dog its like walking on ice. Fine once but when doing it all the time the muscles just get tighter and tighter. I could always tell dogs who lived in carpeted houses against dogs who I got all lovely and loose then they were back to see me with muscles you could bounce a coin off. We all recommend a 'safe track' of rugs around the house especially doorways, steps, where they eat, where they jump down from couches and beds and where they first step out their own beds when they wake.

Dogs are just like us - bones, tendons, muscles, ligaments and they get the same injuries as us - from accidents, from aging, from diseases, from slipping, twisting and tripping, from being canoned into by other dogs, by playing, by over doing repetitive motions like chasing balls etc etc

Hugs to big dog from me 😀 dxxx

EatingBeans

haha, yes I am sure at some point Little Dog has cannon-balled into Big Dog whilst he has been coming in and probably made him slip on the laminate. So I do have some sympathy for him there, and I do throw a towel or blanket down for him to bridge the gap when it is slippy from the rain or whatnot, but honestly, if you could see the size of the gap vs the size of the dog you would laugh too. He could easily just jump the gap if he wanted to but instead he pops his two front feet in and goes to jelly. Until the cat came downstairs we used to have a gate across where the rug ends to stop the dogs going into the kitchen, but since taking the gate away (and making it easier to get in/out), he now seems freaked out. I am not sure if he just keeps coming in the door and his brain is registering something has changed but he can’t tell what is different so he is registering it as danger or something, but literally with the gate he was fine, without he freaks out. 🤷‍♀️ He is a silly sausage. He will get over it I am sure, he just takes a while to adapt to change.

As for my hip thing, yes, it definitely was noticed in A&E. The rather loud yelp that came out of me when he poked it even after the morphine made it pretty evident. To be absolutely sure I hadn’t broken it they took several xrays and a CT scan of my pelvis. They seemed pretty confident that it wasn’t broken and tbh the pain is starting to subside a little and the bruising has started to come out so I think it will be fine. Very painful, yes, but not actually broken.

I have successfully ticked one thing off my list for today - I went to lunch with my friend. I say lunch, but we were in the pub for over 3 hours so it was a rather long catch up as well as lunch. It was great fun but rather exhausting so dd2 grabbed the things I needed from Tesco’s on her way home (she was going anyway). I did look for the number for PIP but seem to have successfully lost it - I will have to find it online tomorrow I guess. My bed is stripped and washed but still not made - something to look forward to later. And I still haven’t 100% made sure all the money is in the right place for the start of the month. 😞 (I feel the need for an Ostrich emoji right now) 🙈 I keep chipping away doing little bits that I know will help but I just cannot face looking at the full monthly picture just yet. I know it is bad, very bad, but I just can’t bring myself, ya know? 🪨🫣

Cherryfudge

I'm glad your hip has been properly looked at and the pain has eased a bit - soft tissue injury can be very painful, so perhaps that's it.

Also glad Big Dog finally came in. He did, didn't he?

Regarding the finances, I feel as though there are two of you, one saying 'It will work this time' and the other saying 'There's not going to be enough and I am going to need to stop paying'. I hope someone will intervene if I'm off course here, but my feeling is that you need to look longer term and ask for a payment holiday, at least while you are waiting to hear about work. Think how much that will be, in hand, to feed the girls and the animals, and yourself too for that matter. I know the credit score looms very large for you, but some things are even more important. You might have to choose between the cc payment and another month paid off the mortgage, and it gets harder if you have to find other accommodation.

I hope you can take that in the spirit that it's meant. You are perhaps too close to the situation, and dealing with too much else, to see it as it appears from here. If you talk to the companies in advance and tell them you are on sick pay, they will take it more kindly than if you miss a payment and don't seem aware.

EatingBeans

I know, I really do know. I am just feeling too tired and in too much pain to deal with it right now. I had a really bad night last night so I am in no shape to make any big decisions so I had done my best to ensure enough money is in the right accounts to cover the important things - mortgage, household bills and car insurance etc. I have run out of energy to go through each credit card statement and work out if I have enough to cover all of them but they are now in a seperate account from the important stuff so if worst comes to worse it will be one of those that doesn’t get paid. But, based on my rough estimate they will get paid this month and that should get me to the point where I final out how much help I will get from universal credit and if they have accepted my Leavers application. If at all possible I want to avoid raising any red flags until that point where I can make a proper decision over the direction to take.

At the moment one credit card is even asking if I want to increase my credit limit! I have zero plans to accept that as I fear that may just add to my problems right now but if I can just get the VLS payment I genuinely think I will be ok.

Oh and yes, Big Dog did finally come in the door. He still pauses coming in sometimes but other times he is walking in just fine. He’s just a silly sausage who gets freaked out about the strangest things. I don’t tell him off for it or anything, I have just learnt that sometimes he just needs a bit of extra time to process and it’s best to crack on like nothing is wrong. Fussing over him seems to make him more sure that there is something to be afraid of so I deliberately don’t do that. I’ve learnt to accept him for who he is and that sometimes he just needs more time. (Don’t we all!) 😁

Paydaypayback

Hi, long time lurker, rare commenter but just wanted to give my view on stopping payments. It appears you may be in the situation shortly of having to stop making payments to creditors and I presume you are worried about the results of doing so.

I was in the same situation a while ago with debts just under 71k. I had to take the plunge and stop making payments as I just couldn't afford the minimums. I can only tell you my experience but it was the best thing and most positive step I took in sorting my debt situation out. I started off asking all creditors for a month's breathing space which they are obliged to do. This stopped all payments due and mostly froze interest. I then over the 30 days explained my situation with all creditors and offered token payment that were affordable to each. Within 4 months they had all defaulted me and most sold my debts on to collection agencies. The important part is I have negotiated with every single collection agency and everyone has been understanding, accommodating of circumstances and far from the 'scary' image they are often tied with.

Now I am down to a debt balance of just over 57k and payments are affordable. My credit score took a hit but I continue to make payments each month, on time and I have in the last few months seen my score start to rise slowly. I have 11 defaults on my record which will stop me getting most forms of credit, I know you mention remortgage which I can't advise on.

I just wanted to post to alleviate any concerns should you end up in the default situation and to say it isn't as scary as it seems. I was worried to death when I defaulted but I can honestly say was the best move I made in getting my life sorted and starting on the debt free journey.

I know circumstances slightly different but really wish you all the best in getting the debts cleared.

EatingBeans

Thanks for sharing your story @Paydaypayback I am glad it has been a good option for you. Honestly it is not the thought of what happens after I default that stops me doing it. It’s more that currently I still have a large chunk still on 0% interest and as soon as I miss one payment they would jump to full rates. Since there is a glimmer of hope that I will have a big chunk of cash to reduce the debt in the near future I would rather do everything I can to avoid skipping a payment and to potentially keep as much of the 0% deals as possible which would help to pay the rest down faster. If it transpires that the large chunk of cash is not going to happen then stopping payments seems the most sensible option and I will take it. Right now this isn’t about the credit score issue, or even the potential for getting a new mortgage, this is 100% about how can I pay the debt off soonest because I can see my income is going to be substantially reduced going forward no matter what I do.

EatingBeans

I have just come back from the GP and she believes the fall was caused by the medication I am taking and told me I should think about coming off it. But, she also insisted that it is the only medication licensed for TN and anything else must come from the Neurologist. Oh, but despite being urgently referred for both the Neurosurgeon and Neurologist, my referral has not even made it through the triage stage so don’t expect an appointment soon. To add insult to injury I apparently have two NHS numbers so all of my medical records are messed up and she couldn’t even see that I had been to A&E on Sunday! This explains why noone ever seems to have my history! She has signed me off for another month and just said, “TN is difficult to treat you know?!”. No s**t! I’ve been living with it for over a decade and you’ve just told me to stop the only medication that even slightly touches the pain and just live with the most painful condition known to mankind for an indefinite amount of time, in the vague hope that at some point I may get an appointment to talk to someone else about it, and I should just be ok with that because “it’s difficult to treat”!

I am not even slightly close to being ok with that.

No wonder this is called the Suicide Disease.

SuzeQStan

EB - do you know which consultant you have been referred to? If your urgent referral has been sent by your gp (it sounds to me like they possibly haven’t even sent it? How long ago did they sent the referral?) then you would be able to contact your local hospital appointments helpline to check on the progress of your urgent appointment date.

You should also be able to see a copy of that referral letter on your NHS online account. If you can’t see it then I would start there asking your gp surgery which consultant/hospital you have been referred.

In my experience working (not currently) in appointment and waiting list for the nhs - the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Which is so unfair when you think about how hard it is for people who feel poorly to have to fight just to get an appointment with a consultant. But the ones who rang us everyday and shouted the loudest always seemed to get faster appointments. It sounds so wrong to say that but that is exactly what I observed happening.

I’m absolutely appalled to hear you have 2x different NHS numbers - I’ve not heard of that happening before - it just sounds like you have been let down so badly by the whole thing really. No wonder you are absolutely fuming about this - I can only imagine how you are feeling.

Also to mention - patient liaison service (PALS) is an excellent resource once you’ve confirmed that your urgent referral
has been sent. They are on the side of patients and you can ask them to point you in the correct direction to liaise with the consultant/secretary/appointments to which you have been referred. I know it all takes strength and I wish I could give you a hug x