Reining it in for retirement and sanity

RebeccaPAgain

Hi all

No idea why I got booted out last time - don't think anything in my thread was inappropriate - but then lost my email password and couldn't get back in so back again(!).

Background - Female, mid 40's with 2 young DC (6&4).  One has additional needs.  Live with them and DH.  Work full time as does DH.  Previously lots and lots of debt, starting in my uni years and continuing until my early 30's - think credit cards, store cards, overdraft, loans and then consolidation loans, you name it.  Was a lot of keeping up with the Jones's - the group I hung around with at Uni were ££££££ and they would quite happily spend with carefree abandon and their parents would pay off their cards.  Me, no.  Didn't have that background and wasted A LOT of money on pointless stupid things which grinds my gears even now - I also have zero excuses as I had a well paid saturday job all through uni, plus tons of hours in the holidays.  I only have myself to blame, though I was not financially educated and had no idea what an interest rate was or what it meant.  I will make sure that my kids are fully financially educated as a result!!

Now the only debt we have is a mortgage though it is a large one and we recently had almost a full house renovation plus extension which almost killed us financially and mentally.  Still a bathroom, couple of bedrooms and some windows to do but we are taking a break for a while for our sanity (having lived through it for over a year) and to rebuild finances as we were almost wiped out by it (plus took on some additional borrowing).

I am much better with money these days, now understanding much more about how it all works.  I mostly am not bothered about keeping up with the Jones's (occasionally this creeps in and I have to give my head a good wobble) but we do still seem to spend more than we should.

I want to retire at 60 if possible since, having seen my parents' health rapidly decline, I would like some time to enjoy travelling the world with DH once the kids have flown the nest.  In reality, I think I will probably end up going part time at 60 (3 days a week) and DH continue for another 3 years as he's 5 years younger than me.  This will most likely definitely be the case if the DC decide they want to go to Uni.  But I am hoping 63 will be my absolute max.

So, we are now focused on that goal.  Our pensions are not great.  They are workplace ones so we don't really have any choice regarding them but if we don't pay in then we don't get the "free" employers' contributions so we do so.  We also really need to get the mortgage (at the very least the additional borrowing) paid down toot suite and start building a nest egg for retirement.

So this is my journey to being totally debt free and being able to trip the light fantastic with DH.

Flick85

Hey, just dropping in to say I’ve subscribed to your diary. Sounds like the renovations have been stressful, I don’t blame you for taking a break on that for a bit. I hope you’re enjoying the results of your efforts so far :-)

RebeccaPAgain

@Flick85 - thank you!  Yes, it was probably the most stressful time of our lives and was the end of a 4 year stress of stupidly selling our perfectly good house and moving into 2 different rentals before finding a house that would work, then the renos on top.  It has been terrible in all honesty but the house does look good now!

Was it worth it?  I'm not sure - hindsight is a wonderful thing and all that but I think if we had our time again, we'd not have bothered.

PollyWollyDoodle

I remember your previous diary, glad to hear the renovations are finished for the time being. 

I hope life is getting a little easier now your DC are older.  

It’s taken great determination to get through all the work on the house, so I’m sure you’ll be able to divert some of that energy into debt-busting. 

RebeccaPAgain

So, what are we doing towards reining it in?  Well, this is the first month of trying.  Our budget starts on 20th each month as that's when I get paid.  DH gets paid on 25th of the month.  This month is sort of a bit of a hangover from christmas because I was paid on 20th and there were then some bits to be bought for christmas and obviously the christmas food shop was a lot more than a normal weekly shop.  

First of all, I cancelled a tv subscription we were not really using.  Only saving us £4.99 a month but every little helps.

Secondly, I have put us on a reduced budget for Dec, Jan, Feb and March pay at 3/4 of what we were spending previously.  So this covers all food, petrol, clothes, toiletries, kids shoes, clubs, eating out etc etc.  We are going well so far and, were it not for the fact I am flying to visit my parents next weekend with DC2, I think we would easily achieve it.  I don't think we will be far off however - hopefully.  No idea what I may have to spend yet, will depend on what we end up doing.  Also DH will be here with DC1 so may spend taking him places etc.

I am confident we will definitely hit it next month because this month we also had to pay almost £300 in swimming subscriptions for the two DC to take them until Easter.  We won't have that expense next month as it's been paid.

Thirdly, we are doing dry Jan but hoping to continue this until Easter.  This will save money by not buying alcohol and also help with weight loss and just generally feeling better.  We have about 3 bottles red left over from christmas and a couple of beers (plus plenty spirits) if we do crack.  But I'd like to try not to.

Fourthly, we have done a pantry/freezer inventory and are trying to plan meals around that where we can.  I do still think our normal shopping will be at least £100 a week (we are CI residents and food prices here are crazy) but it will reduce it a bit.

Finally, no eating out/coffees out.  Except perhaps next weekend when I may not be able to control/help it and will need to feed DC2 at the airport due to flight times.

Our take home will be slightly less for Jan pay due to the annual change in tax/ss codes here but I am hoping for a promotion shortly which may result in a payrise for Feb pay (probably not much!).

Blackcats

Hooray you're back and sounding like you are full of enthusiasm.
thank goodness your builders have finally left the premises.  You can enjoy the house now.
As you know being able to retire a little before I was 60 has been utterly fabulous.  I'm still amazed every month when a payment arrives in my bank account and I've done diddly squat work that month to earn it.

RebeccaPAgain

@PollyWollyDoodle - thank you!  Yes, I probably don't give myself enough credit for the determination it took to get through that (with a signed off work meltdown mid-way!) but maybe I should!

@Blackcats - yes, you are my role model in that regard.  I so don't want to work a day longer than I have to!

Well we cracked on dry january last night(!!!!).  We had one beer each and shared a bottle of wine but I do think we will now not bother again for a while.  Dinner was beef stifado.  We bought some stewing beef from a local farmer and it was much cheaper than the supermarket and probably better quality.  We have enough of the stifado left over for 2 more suppers and still have 1kg of beef left - have frozen all of it so we can make something else another time.

This morning was park with DCs.  DC1 didn't want to go or to ride his bike which was difficult.  DC2 happy to ride.  In the end, I think a good time was had by all.  On way back we got some lunchbox bars, milk (readers of my previous diaries will know how much milk we go through - we ALWAYS need milk!  And it's now £1.83 a litre!!), and bananas for lunchboxes - £24.13.  We bought 14 packs of the lunchbox bars (so 70 bars in total) as they were on offer at a very good price and the DC have them every day in their lunchboxes and often as snacks when we are out and about, so made sense to buy in bulk.

Then we got a pack of 5 cookies from the store that sells great cookies - a treat to have with a "posh" (i.e. out of the cafetiere) coffee this afternoon.  Lunch was butternut soup from the freezer, made with butternut from our garden last year and bread we already had.  Tonight is pizza, again from stores (other than I had to buy mozarella on the weekly shop).  DH made a huge amount of pizza dough a few weeks ago and froze it in batches.  He also made tomato sauce ages back from the tomatoes from our garden.  He froze it in those little weaning pots that we had from when the kids were little so he can get just the right amount out as needed.  We will have one with nduja sausage - we bought a large fresh one from a local italian deli a little while back and it lasts ages and the other will be with squash (again, from garden), stilton and pesto (from stores).

As you can probably tell, I am not dieting on the weekends!  We now don't have a huge amount left in the budget.  I've worked out we "should" have around £187 left for next weekend but, judging by what my brother says he has planned (at least 3 meals out) I am not confident we won't go over the reduced budget.  At least if we do, it shouldn't be by too much and I know (barring some sort of disaster) next month will be better.

I also need to get them a bottle of gin at the airport to say thank you for letting us stay.

This coming week is relatively quiet, though likely busy at work.  Aiming not to spend other than planned which is collecting 2 x prescriptions and a mid-week top up of bananas (hopefully not milk).  Will do big shop Fri afternoon before heading off so DH doesn't have to worry about it when he's on his own.

RebeccaPAgain

Last night the kids didn't want all of their pizza, meaning DH and I were munching on the leftovers.  This meant that 1 pizza between us was adequate and now DH can make the other one for tonight - so sort of like a free meal as one of this weeks meals can now be left in the freezer.

NSD for me today, DH is buying seeds for growing veg in garden (some new varieties for this coming year) - we tried to get them with my vouchers but shows as unavailable for me (no idea why) so having to buy.  DH has (if they get picked up) sold some broken roof slates for £10 and has listed more.  So this should at least pay for the seeds.

Tried to hold a financial summit with DH yesterday but I just feel he doesn't really listen to me or take what I am saying on board.  So I just have to keep doing what I'm doing and hope for the best.  We reviewed our pension pots and got up to date balances.  On track for where I thought we were but they are not great.  But at least we have a plan.

We had quite a balance in our bills account - we put away each month for most things, including buildings insurance and oil, but they obviously don't get paid out until needed.  So we have hoofed that over to the savings account to at least earn a little bit of interest as it was earning 0% in my account - left a float of £100 in there because the expenses which come out monthly now won't hit until after 25th when our s/o payment is made to that account.  It won't earn much at all - maybe £100 a year - but as I said to DH, that's a dinner out so why not.  We have made sure it is clearly marked on the spreadsheet as not being cash available to spend!

Worked quite hard today and then popped out at lunchtime for a run.  Literally started C210K for about the 7th time!  But I do feel more awake as a result - going to try to do the same tomorrow.

Blackcats

Yay to a "free" pizza dinner.

it's a fine balance between getting an OH involved with financial plans & money management and them interfering 😉

iceandfire1

Hello! One of the people on this forum said that you are from Jersey? Me too! 

RebeccaPAgain

MIA for a while as had a minor op under GA which took me longer to recover from than anticipated!  Almost there now but still feeling a little dodge.  Also had a palava trying to get back into MSE - like last time it was saying it didn't recognise my password even though I'd written it down but here I am again!

So last month's spending wasn't perfect but was an improvement - in the end, went over our reduced budget by about £30 which was happy with given a weekend away and the unexpected expense of a car battery.

This month going better, sort of.  House insurance up for renewal and given we've had so much work done, I felt it prudent to get an assessment of re-build costs done.  Have a friend who's a surveyor so was £200 which isn't bad - won't be needed going forwards but best to have a re-set.  Was hoping he might come in under where insurers had placed re-build to shave a bit off premium but no, far far over and actually way more than the house is actually worth(!)  At least we will be properly insured but will cost us more.  The premium is already far ahead of what we paid last year so we will need to adjust our bills amounts to reflect for next year.  Think the bills account will cover the increase as we had quite a bit sitting in there anyway.

Another "free" dinner tonight as kids didn't eat all their pizza last night again meaning we only had to make one so can do one tonight with chips.

@iceandfire1 - not from Jersey sadly, from the other island!  

Awaiting salary/bonus review - then we will need to have a massive review of our expenses and re-jig the amounts going into bills account!