Reining it in for retirement and sanity

Blackcats

glad you are recovering from your op.

RebeccaPAgain

Thanks @Blackcats - I'm actually quite shocked at how much it has taken out of me!

Went for a walk round the park today for an hour before picking up the DC.  Decided to start work 10 mins early so I could finish 10 mins early to drive up to by the school and get a good hour in.  So that's 2 days in a row now.  DC1 is in trouble for biting someone at school (he's autistic for those new readers) - I honestly do dread pickup.  It's so difficult to work out what to do to help him as I genuinely think he does not understand why it's not allowed/appropriate.  

No spending today (well other than paying the surveyor friend £200 for the report).  As expected, insurers are now quoting even more for insurance but it is a necessary evil.  We don't have a huge amount of different people to go through here so have gone for 3 so far as comparisons.  

Did a brief lunchtime reccie of finances with DH and re-calculated what should be put into the bills account.  Another £80 a month to cover increases on a number of fronts is not welcome!  

Until new budget, we still have 2 x big shops to do, probs 1 x petrol for car, a voucher for SIL's 40th and DH is out Fri with work (hoping work pay - he's on about cancelling but has just joined a new team so I think he probably needs to go).  I will also likely have a few prescriptions (cheaper here so around £22 probably) oh and a team lunch (but minimal at £15).  Hoping we can avoid any other expenditure this month and that DH will not organise any more nights out(!) - I don't mind really, but it would be nice to tick the "we did it" box this month.

I've also been listening to a money Podcast whilst doing my walking - not sure if I'm allowed to say name on here.  A lot of it is stuff we are all doing/trying to do already but there's the odd thing here and there, mainly around the psychology of money that I find interesting.  Does anyone else listen to any podcasts (finance based or otherwise)?  Any recommendations?

badmemory

Is it possible that DS does not realise why biting shouldn't happen because he doesn't realise it hurts.   Over 25 years ago one of my neighbours children then age 3 used to run from the front door to the sliding patio doors at the rear of the house.  When I say from, I mean into, so forcefully the patio doors almost came off their runners & felt no pain at all.

RebeccaPAgain

@badmemory this is a possibility - I guess it could also just be that he has no empathy or doesn't think about others - it's a common trait with autism apparently.  We didn't have any further incidents Weds/Thurs - not sure about today as MIL picks up on Fridays - guess I will find out later.

DH no longer going out tonight - instead, he is making us a nice dinner at home (it's a burrata pasta recipe from this month's WR magazine which looks good) and he made some meringues last week from leftover egg whites so I got some cream and we have a choc orange from xmas we could melt down.  Will be continuing with Chicago PD Series 10 and hopefully getting an early night as DC1 came in at 2am and 522am this morning!!

Had pay review today and am happy with it.  Possibly the first time I've been happy with it.  Bonus was reduced due to the period of sickness I had last year when everything went wrong, so that was a little disappointing but understandable on their part.  Does feel like I'm really going to earn my raise this year though - the pressure and workload has really ramped up.

Got to do big shop in the morning, then pick up prescriptions from pharmacy.  Not sure what we will do with the DC tomorrow as the weather is not looking favourable, though DC1 wants to make a carrot cake so perhaps we will do that.  Not sure we will be able to avoid the soft play this weekend given the weather - would rather avoid the cost if we can.

Went to docs this morning for repeat prescriptions and asked to be referred to rheumatologist - apparently she had already done it back in October but because there is no-one on island it takes ages!  Must follow that up next week - I do feel like I have some sort of autoimmune.

Working through yet another library book - book 6 so far this year.  Can't believe I spent years buying books and not using the library (though a new book of your own is truly a wonderful thing).  So glad I am back into reading though as I do really enjoy it and of course, if I use the library then it's free.

I do feel like my life is a little boring these days - I remember the days when I had much more interesting things to write about (not the debacle with the house obvs!).  But maybe that is just a sign of age (or perhaps eternal tiredness!).

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend! x

pennywisepoundstupid

I also like boring, i think it comes with age and also just being content with the simple things in life. xx

RebeccaPAgain

@pennywisepoundstupid - I guess maybe that's where I am (at least some of the time). x

Didn't avoid the costs of softplay on the weekend but we reduced the spend there at least by taking own snacks (did buy coffees as there is a big sign saying no food other than bought there).  £1.20 today on a stamp for SIL birthday card (she lives in UK) - seems ridiculous that the stamp was more than the card but hey ho!  Finished library book 6, returned (along with loads the DC had had out) and collected another so will try start that shortly.

Free breakfast at work this morning which also doubled as lunch and have brought the leftover sweet stuff to share with DH as pudding tonight (half the breakfast was sweet and half savoury!).  As I went in today, I was only going in tomorrow for a meeting which I suspected was going to be cancelled so sent person a message to check - yep cancelled so good thing is I don't need to go in tomorrow which is good news - really dread wednesdays at the minute - a meeting where I don't feel comfortable is every week (though cancelled tomorrow - different to the meeting I'm talking about above which was with someone I actually feel fine around) and then a long day plus a course in the evening to try to help DC1 with his autism.  So not having to go in tomorrow will at least mean a less early and rushed start.

DH needs to fill car with petrol tomorrow and he's been quoted to get his amp fixed - £55.  He found a person locally who looks at them for £20 and then will only charge parts to fix as it's his hobby.  A good saving but obvs more money out.  Interest on savings came in higher than we had set out in spreadsheet so that was good.

Got follow up appointment after my op on Thurs and suspect there might be some prescriptions required.  

Jacket potatoes with soured cream cheese and bacon tonight - cannot wait, one of my fave meals of the week, so simple but utterly delicious.

RebeccaPAgain

Seems jacket potatoes must be a Tuesday night supper as we are having them again tonight(!).  Where has this week gone?!  It seems like the workload at work has just really ramped up and I find I don't have much spare time.  Not that I did before really but this is something else.  I'm now getting involved in interviewing people, providing training I wasn't doing before and now seem to be the go to person for every query known to man.  In a way it's good as my job is secure but it does make me start feeling a little on the stressed side.  I just have to try to tell myself I can only do what I can do.

So, new budget starts Thursday and we have £19.50 left in the reduced budget I'd set for this month.  We need 2 x milk tonight (£3.66 - anyone who knows me knows milk is a constant and expensive problem here!!) and a lunch out for work tomorrow.  I organised it so can't exactly not attend(!).  But it is a set menu of £12.95 and I usually round it up to £15 for a tip.  I am hoping (praying) that I can just pay the £15 and that people don't start getting ideas of splitting per person.  Then we will come in 84p under budget(!).

DH is out tomorrow night with clients but that's paid for by them.  I am going to drop him into town and he says he will walk home.  I've said if he's been drinking I'd rather he get a cab and no worry about the cash/budget - safety is paramount.  But I suspect he won't want to drink much if at all anyway as it's a school night - famous last words.  His company have today announced that the staff are not getting bonuses this year.  A number of them who have done a lot of unpaid overtime are not at all happy about this for obvious reasons.  DH said last year that his bonus was rubbish despite lots of overtime so that he wasn't going to bother doing any this year - instead, where he worked an extra hour he took an extra hour's lunch.  He now feels rather vindicated - whether that's right or wrong morally - but if you don't look after your staff don't expect them to look after you.

I am quite stressed about retirement - we're only 3 years into a large 25 year mortgage.  I'm trying to rationalise it to myself on the basis that we do spend a lot of time at home and love being at home.  So rather than saving for retirement, we invested it into the house which will allow us enjoyment for a number of years and can be sold to release cash once it is too big for our needs (i.e. when the kids have left home).  I am also telling myself that we only get 5.5 weeks holiday a year and the kids have school until at least 16, possibly 18, so it's not like we can just up and off on loads of holidays anyway (for example if we hadn't bought the house and instead had more spare cash).  Not sure if this is an old style justification but there's also not a lot I can do about it now - if we sold we'd def lose money in this market.

I mean I know there are these articles in the DM and online calculators etc but really, how on earth do you go about working out what you might need (or want) in retirement?!  Our tastes or health might change between now and then and it really is so difficult.  I also do want to make sure that we do holidays/activities etc with our kids because I know they enjoy them and we really only get a short amount of time with them.

Plus the youngest (4) is now asking us to buy a motorhome as he saw one on Peppa Pig (along with an electric bike as he sees kids at nursery on them at pick up!!).

RebeccaPAgain

For clarification: as much as it would be cool to have a motorhome, we aren't of course going to buy one just because DC2 wants one!

badmemory

You know that thing about downsizing when the kids leave home - don't bank on it.

RebeccaPAgain

@badmemory - thankfully, if that's not an option, we do have a plot of land we could sell next to the house which would see us through.  Initially the previous owner had said he was going to put an overage clause on it but he never did.  We'd rather not, but I don't think it would affect the value of the house as it's quite easy to separate and at the moment is just used for "overspill" parking when we have parties (so not very often!).

So, we were almost (after my work lunch out) within the reduced budget I had set us by 34p!!!!  However, DH then went out for his work dinner which was paid for by clients, but he went for a beer with colleague on way home so meant we were 11.36 over reduced budget.  He did walk home and didn't get a taxi however.  But all in all, pleased with the reigning in last month as I had reduced our monthly spending budget by a quarter (when I say spending, I mean all food, petrol, kids activities, our activities, toiletries etc) and we'd also had the unexpected (though perhaps should have been anticipated) spend on a surveyor to give us a figure for re-build costs for insurance purposes.

Managed to save £200 on quoted insurance premium by going through someone we know which am pleased with.

Have now tried to reduce budget this month by a further £100 on top of what I'd already reduced it by.  We don't have many social plans this month (though it is half term next week which will involve some spending here and there) - I say that, DH has just invited friends of ours round next sat afternoon so will probably need to get some beers in and make a cake/snacks for the kids (they have 3!).  Although I've just measured both kids' feet and DC1 needs new school shoes and trainers, DC2 just needs new trainers!  But that's likely circa £120!

Anyway, the upshot is, we managed to save extra last month which is a good start.