Rebuilding my life.

ManiacalRed

I don't really know where to start with this, but here it goes. I am four months out of a 15-year relationship that I thought would last a lifetime.

As Covid began, I had almost everything I wanted: I was nearly debt-free, had a loving partner and pets, a beautiful house, a new electric car, a camper van, and both of us held decent-paying jobs – I was a supermarket manager, and he worked in the ambulance service. Then, due to Covid, childhood trauma, or some other reason, he became a drug addict.

Fast forward four years, and I live in a one-bedroom rented flat, have a decimated credit rating, and drive a 16-year-old diesel "skip on wheels" that I affectionately call the "dug bus." I care for our two dogs and a cat, which I can barely afford. I have few remaining friends. After enduring four years of financial and emotional abuse, I lost my job due to silly mistakes likely caused by stress. I'm exhausted and in a lot of debt. However, I feel free. I have a new job that pays half my previous salary but comes with none of the stress. I haven't even totaled all my debts, but I'm guessing, including credit cards, utilities, council tax, and other miscellaneous expenses, I'm looking at 15-20k. It's not where I wanted to be at 40, but hey ho. The only way is up, or hopefully down as far as the debts are concerned.
P.S. I am dyslexic so have run this through AI to fix some grammar and spelling, and hopefully make it an easier read for you. 
P.p.s. My self esteem is at an all time low so if anyone has any comments about why I let things get this far, there's no need to share, I ask myself this every day.

Moneywhizz

Welcome to the forum. The good thing is you have got yourself into a better position already and now you can build your life back up, as your diary title says. Your first step is to work out a proper budget that covers all your expenses and then you can see what you have left over to pay towards your debt. You can then prioritise the debt that you want to clear first while making minimum payments to the other debts. It may take you a while to get there but you will one day be free from debt and able to make choices about how to spend the money you earn. If you need any help to sort out your budget you could put up a Statement of affairs showing your income and expenditure. There are lots of people here who can help you with that. 

twopenny

I can't help with detail but read your post when it first went up and have admiration for you getting out of such a financial and emotional hole.

I've only once found myself in credit card debt, in my 40s, which I thought I could pay back when I got a job but my wages went on the card payment and none left over so a constant cycle. It was slower and longer than I'd thought but got there.

The fact that you have somewhere to live and a job now is a credit to you (maybe a pun ;-) and congratulations.

If you've given youself time to have a breather there's lots of knowledge and advice here to get you started when you're ready to take the final step to freedom.

Good luck, good and positive New Year

From one dyslexic to another - why do they make that word so hard to spell!

Brie

good on you for getting yourself out of a bad situation.  the current one might not look great but as you say - the only way is up.

If you want to post a statement of accounts (SOA) there's a template in one of the top stickies in the debt wannabee forum.  Post it back here and let people help you sort out your budgeting and that might give you a bit of a feelgood in your debt free journey. 

FlorayG

Remind yourself that your 'few remaining friends' are actually the only real friends you ever had and hold on to them. Those 'friends' who stopped contacting you when you could no longer keep up with their lifestyle were never friends in the first place. You can do this. I was broke at 40 ( although admittedly not in actual debt) and now 20 years on have my own home again

ManiacalRed

Thanks for all your comments and messages of support. Took some time to rest over the New Year and regroup. I have completed my SOA. Looking for some feedback if possible. I have included some comments for explanation. Happy New Year to you all.

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 1

Number of children in household......... 0

Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 1750 (depending on OT this can be as high as 2k but not guaranteed so not included)

Partners monthly income after tax....... 0

Benefits................................ 0

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 1750[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 0

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 395

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 160 ( includes 65 debt repayment)

Electricity............................. 50 (Prepayment)

Gas..................................... 50 (Prepayment)

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 0

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 40

TV Licence.............................. 0 ( I never watch live TV, Or Iplayer)
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0

Internet Services....................... 30

Groceries etc. ......................... 150

Clothing................................ 0

Petrol/diesel........................... 100

Road tax................................ 20

Car Insurance........................... 81

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 50 ( This is not paid monthly, an estimate based on what I spent over last 12 months)

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 96 

Buildings insurance..................... 0

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 0

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20 (Again don't pay monthly based on what I spent on my Mum and niece over last day and xmas)

Haircuts................................ 15

Entertainment........................... 50 

Holiday................................. 0 (Last was 2023 I can go another year or 2)

Emergency fund.......................... 0

Pet food................................ 70 (1 pet has tummy issues hence the high cost for specialist food)[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1377[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 0

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 1000

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 1000[/b]

[b]

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts[/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Credit card 1..................3845......160.......19

CC 2 (default Oct 23)..........840.......0.........0

EDF............................2984......0.........0

Council Tax....................4500......0.........0[b]

Total unsecured debts..........12169.....160.......-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 1,750

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,377

Available for debt repayments........... 373

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 160[b]

Amount left after debt repayments....... 213[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 1,000

Total HP & Secured debt................. -0

Total Unsecured debt.................... -12,169[b]

Net Assets.............................. -11,169[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com. 

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

After disscussing with EDF I decided to go on a prepayment meter, I have found that I am much more vigilant around whats using electricity, gas usage and hope this will be habit forming for when I can't switch to back to a credit meter. Debt being recovered at £10 per week from Prepayment meter.
Heating only goes on below 16c.

Council tax payment limit has been accepted at £160. Inclusive of debt payment, current council tax year payment. This means maximum I will pay is £160 for year 25/26.

Landlord has confirmed no rent increase for next 12 months. 

My plans are to pay off the live credit card.
Followed by settling the default.
Pay off EDF. Switch back to credit meter, go on best tariff.
Pay off council tax debt.

If my calculations are correct I will be debit free in 36 months.
I'm hoping for sooner than that but I want to be realistic.

Again any feedback, comments, suggestions all welcome.

SandyShores

Following along to cheer you on your way.  I think I was 50 when I had my final lightbulb moment and put a brakes on the debt, so you've started early compared to me. I really wish I'd started 10 years earlier but its never too late.

I followed Dave Ramsey's 7 babysteps loosely - his first step is to save yourself a £1,000 emergency fund, but I think I had a £500 one to start with.  Perhaps the next few times you get your £2k total pay you could put the extra into an easy access savings account, or possibly premium bonds (which means its an extra step to get it out).  The emergency fund is to save using credit if there's a life emergency.   

Also is there any chance at all of moving your 19% APR card onto a 0% rate?  There used to be a credit card tool on MSE (possibly still is) and you could find out your chances before applying.  Because little did I know when I was in debt that just applying for credit affects your chances of getting it.

You seem to be doing brilliantly, you're in the right place for support and I look forward to seeing you getting closer and closer to debt-free. 

ManiacalRed

Morning everyone, it's an earlier than usual start for me today as my older dog (15yo) has a dicky tummy. Less than 5 hours sleep, but Alarms due to go off in 15 mins so no point in closing my eyes again. 
Days like today are always the most difficult spending wise. I know the rest of the day is going to be tiring and I'm gonna be feeling exhausted by the end, and when I get home from work I'm gonna have mess to clean.
Usually I would grab some takeaway for dinner, buy my lunch, skip breakfast and then treat myself to some online spending to make me feel better. But not today.
I'm going to be using up the contents of my freezer, cupboards and fridge as much as possible before doing a big grocery shop this month. This will help my spend less, force me to use stuff I haven't because It's been in there since the Ex moved out and was something I wouldn't usually eat, and run down the freezer as it needs a defrost and clean.
Taken out a chicken breast outta the freezer for some chicken veg and rice/potatoes for dinner. 
Sandwiches will be made for lunch. 
And having toast and cereal for breakfast just now.
I will need to pop to Mr Al on the way home from work for butter, milk and pop into home bargins for puppy pads (an essential when the dog has a bad tumtum). Challenge is don't buy anything else. 
The Emergency Fund is a great idea, and would never have though of using my OT extras to build it. Tbh it usually goes on stuff I've not thought about planned for and the odd wee treat on a bad day like today. I do need new hiking boots this year my trusty old ones are 5yo and have finely give up on me. So other than that everything will be going into the Emergency Fund.
I have looked at switching the debt to 0% unfortunately it's a no go. 
Thanks for the suggestion though.

Lonelygambler

Hey, welcome. I joined this forum at my lowest. There was no judgement and just supportive people. 

Good luck and keep updating when you can. 

Cara_

I am sorry you have found yourself in this situation. There will be lots of support for you on the forum and I would encourage you to post in your diary as often as you can so you can look back and check your progress. Good luck, you've taken the first step towards a better future.

ManiacalRed

Thanks @cara_
Had to rush out the door this morning despite being up early. Need to be more organised in the morning that's for sure but did manage to make lunch so just finishing that off just now. Remembered that I need to add toothpaste to my list when I had to cut the tube open this morning 🤦‍♂️. 
Also bit of debt I've forgotten about until an email just came through. £75 for insurance I cancelled for the campervan. I demanded a letter in the post explaining why I had so much to pay as all my payments were up to date when I canceled. But they sent me an email instead and it's been floating around in my must get to list. I begrudge paying it but I guess that's better than getting another default for such a small amount.