Mindset over finances - am I the only one

brucefan_2

markyyyyyy said:

Hi
A bit of background
I’m 36 yrs old, single
own a small home worth £120k - mortgage of £65k
savings/investments of £55k


I always feel like I don’t have enough money, and have a bit of a ‘fear’ of not having enough to live on in retirement, even though it’s a long way off

i stick to budgets and feel as though I’m ruled by these, even though I do budget for hobbies I like, the odd holiday etc.

i feel surrounded by people splashing left, right and centre, numerous holidays a year, and feel like I’m doing it wrong? Or maybe I just have a skewed perception and people rack up debts doing these things

What I’m getting at, is this a common feeling amongst people, or should I just accept it and approach the “fu** it, what will be will be” approach? 

Just here for a discussion l, am I the only one that feels like this?

Just a few random thoughts from a 70 year old. It's a question of balance.

At age 36 it's good to have an eye to the future you and your requirements and needs. Don't see your budgeting, savings regime, whatever as 'fear'. View it as taking sensible measures to (potentially) not be a burden on the state or others. You are allocating resources and 'buying choice' for your future self. Pat yourself on the back for your foresight and carry on spending what you've budgeted on your hobbies, your interests etc., Just because other people are 'splashing out' doesn't mean you are 'getting it wrong'

I once allowed my discretionary spending to be dictated by how others spent their money. I wasted a lot.

At some point in your savings and investment journey, you will reach a tipping point where your assets etc., will provide you with extra income. I now feel much more 'in control' of my discretionary spending.

It's often difficult to articulate but the more precise my budgeting is, and the more aware I am of what my budget entails, the greater freedom it gives me. (I still search out the yellow stickers though)

I don't subscribe to YNAB but try to adhere to their principles - give every pound a job. Know what every pound is doing.

There is a great playlist of YNAB videos 'Heard It From Hannah'. I love her goofy humour but it's not to everyone's taste.

I would recommend watching this particular video though - basically saying that budgeting etc., doesn't mean taking the fun out of life - the opposite in fact:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIMQdbBKq90&list=PLq0_N-XTl2yDWGTHHHYhfB_KumLx1zANh&index=45

I wish this kind of content had been around when I was 36

Bostonerimus1

Hoenir said:

Roger175 said:

Alexland said:

Roger175 said:

Any purchases will be long thought out and bought without credit at the best possible price/discount available

I find that using credit facilities can often provide an additional layer of discount so the item ends up costing less than otherwise or at least you have the opportunity to earn a return on the money you would have otherwise paid upfront. As long as you are only buying the things you would have bought anyway and have the cash already available to repay then credit can be a useful tool.

Oh don't get me wrong, that's all part of the process. We bought a new settee/chairs 4 years ago and they wouldn't give any discount, but were offering interest free credit, so we took that and earned a bit of interest on the money. The point I was making was that we don't buy anything we can't afford and would never resort to credit simply to buy something that we hadn't already saved for.

No such thing as interest free credit. The margin / mark up on furniture is eyewatering.  Not least sofa's.  Which consist of very little when you take them apart. 

I consider myself frugal. For me that means spending money wisely. So when I needed a sofa I bought one to last and be passed down to the family. It was expensive, but it has only improved with use over the 25 plus years I've owned it. I try to use the same approach with everything I buy and I never buy on credit. 

Cloysterpete

I often wonder about the same things myself, I’m 41 and own my place with no mortgage and savings around £120k. But I only work part time in a supermarket so I take home around £1500, my monthly expenses are around £500 leaving me around £1000 to save each month. But I struggle to spend much of it, I feel guilty over spending money on trivial things, meaningless possessions when I might need this money for my retirement. 

Like this month I spent about £400 on home improvements for the bathroom, £300 on new shelving + bookcases and then about £300 on Stephen King novels from Amazon US. This lead to such worry about overspending that I ended up listing one of my figurine collections on eBay to reclaim those funds back, it’s some kind of bizarre way of thinking that I can recognise but find difficult to ever change.

Angelica123

VNX said:

masonic said:

markyyyyyy said:

Hi
A bit of background
I’m 36 yrs old, single
own a small home worth £120k - mortgage of £65k
savings/investments of £55k


I always feel like I don’t have enough money, and have a bit of a ‘fear’ of not having enough to live on in retirement, even though it’s a long way off

i stick to budgets and feel as though I’m ruled by these, even though I do budget for hobbies I like, the odd holiday etc.

i feel surrounded by people splashing left, right and centre, numerous holidays a year, and feel like I’m doing it wrong? Or maybe I just have a skewed perception and people rack up debts doing these things

What I’m getting at, is this a common feeling amongst people, or should I just accept it and approach the “fu** it, what will be will be” approach? 

Just here for a discussion l, am I the only one that feels like this?

There was a thread on this subject around this time last year. It was very popular and a lot of posters shared very similar sentiments.

I need budgets to encourage myself to spend. My default is to scrutinise every penny of expenditure, a budget allows me to justify discretionary spending knowing I have given it some prior thought. I don't see this as a problem, more a secret weapon against making poor spending decisions. Perhaps the influence of this site. The danger is going to the extreme of depriving yourself of a life until you are too old to make the most of your money. So some guard-rails must be set in the same way as a spendthrift needs to reign in the FOMO.

Indeed, good memory!

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6494041/has-saving-affected-your-mental-health/p1

an excellent thread 

I remember this thread well and was thinking of this when I saw OP's post. 

I think the importance is balance. Consider both short term and long term goals. Having experienced financial instability as a child, I put a huge importance on saving for the future and preparing for every eventuality. On the other hand, I would say I am pretty relaxed on spending too. I am fortunate enough to earn enough, that while I can't be lavish, I can ensure I am having good experiences while also saving. 

I think what helps is to actually to calculate how much you need to be comfortable in retirement - which if you are currently living frugally will be very little. I think it's useful to have a discretionary "fun money" pot - because it's been included in your budget, it can be spent guilt free. 

DiamondLil

Cloysterpete said:

I often wonder about the same things myself, I’m 41 and own my place with no mortgage and savings around £120k. But I only work part time in a supermarket so I take home around £1500, my monthly expenses are around £500 leaving me around £1000 to save each month. But I struggle to spend much of it, I feel guilty over spending money on trivial things, meaningless possessions when I might need this money for my retirement. 

Like this month I spent about £400 on home improvements for the bathroom, £300 on new shelving + bookcases and then about £300 on Stephen King novels from Amazon US. This lead to such worry about overspending that I ended up listing one of my figurine collections on eBay to reclaim those funds back, it’s some kind of bizarre way of thinking that I can recognise but find difficult to ever change.

"£300 on Stephen King novels"    Oh lordy.... I admire your fortitude. I buy my books in charity shops. (Always donating them back when I've read them).

ian1246

I ve sadly just come out of a divorce last year, so i m back to square one.

Simular mindset to the OP - own a £250,000 3 bed semi, £220,000ish remaining mortgage, £11,000 in savings.

Mortgage is until I m 74 years old. If i m careful, I m able to save £500 a month between my regular savers. £300 of that is earmarked for mortgage overpayment upon annual maturity.

Fortunately £185,000ish of my mortgage is locked in until 2031 at a 2.52% rate, the remaining £35,000ish at 6.68% - hence the overpayment. Plan is to get this additional mortgage gone by the time the main mortgage comes off its low fix - ensuring i m not more financially hard up than currently.

It takes focus, but its worth it. I could loosen the purse strings  but then in 7 years if that mortgage jumps by £300 a month, I ll be struggling - by the extra mortgage (£222 a month payment) gone by overpayment, I m protecting myself against future expenses rises - at the cost of today.

Unlike the OP, I ve got 9+years of Police pension contributions. I also have a 3 year old son who i have in excess of 50/50 - half of his nursery fee's are nearly £300 a month, even with free childcare - so future spare income will improve once he starts School...

Income from my savings is £50+ a month, growing steadily.... just got to remain careful with my spending and hopefully within a few years I ll be in a comfortable position.

noclaf

I can relate to the OP and some other poster comments ...early 40's and trying to strike a balance between shovelling away 'enough' into the pension whilst putting away a decent amount outside of the pension (cash and ISA's). Young child and wife, currently just myself working and the stress of the job combined with the over-thinking regarding am I doing enough and 'what if scenarios' on job security has impacted my health in the last few years especially the mental health side but trying to keep pushing on and focus on what I can control.

As an aside when I first started posting on here I was clueless about pensions and basic finances (if I recall had 17k in my pensions at that point (and all in the default funds) and re managing my finances...money left my account as quick as it came in!) , still learning but glad I found this forum as it has transformed my pension and investments situation significantly. Long way to go but on a positive trajectory!

trickydicky14

DiamondLil said:

Cloysterpete said:

I often wonder about the same things myself, I’m 41 and own my place with no mortgage and savings around £120k. But I only work part time in a supermarket so I take home around £1500, my monthly expenses are around £500 leaving me around £1000 to save each month. But I struggle to spend much of it, I feel guilty over spending money on trivial things, meaningless possessions when I might need this money for my retirement. 

Like this month I spent about £400 on home improvements for the bathroom, £300 on new shelving + bookcases and then about £300 on Stephen King novels from Amazon US. This lead to such worry about overspending that I ended up listing one of my figurine collections on eBay to reclaim those funds back, it’s some kind of bizarre way of thinking that I can recognise but find difficult to ever change.

"£300 on Stephen King novels"    Oh lordy.... I admire your fortitude. I buy my books in charity shops. (Always donating them back when I've read them).

I'm dyslexic, boy it saves me so much money not buying books. I do know I miss out on so much not reading though.

Albermarle

ian1246 said:

I ve sadly just come out of a divorce last year, so i m back to square one.

Simular mindset to the OP - own a £250,000 3 bed semi, £220,000ish remaining mortgage, £11,000 in savings.

Mortgage is until I m 74 years old. If i m careful, I m able to save £500 a month between my regular savers. £300 of that is earmarked for mortgage overpayment upon annual maturity.

Fortunately £185,000ish of my mortgage is locked in until 2031 at a 2.52% rate, the remaining £35,000ish at 6.68% - hence the overpayment. Plan is to get this additional mortgage gone by the time the main mortgage comes off its low fix - ensuring i m not more financially hard up than currently.

It takes focus, but its worth it. I could loosen the purse strings  but then in 7 years if that mortgage jumps by £300 a month, I ll be struggling - by the extra mortgage (£222 a month payment) gone by overpayment, I m protecting myself against future expenses rises - at the cost of today.

Unlike the OP, I ve got 9+years of Police pension contributions. I also have a 3 year old son who i have in excess of 50/50 - half of his nursery fee's are nearly £300 a month, even with free childcare - so future spare income will improve once he starts School...

Income from my savings is £50+ a month, growing steadily.... just got to remain careful with my spending and hopefully within a few years I ll be in a comfortable position.

Remember also that due to inflation, the amount of money you will owe will decrease in real terms, so making it easier to pay off, assuming you still have an income that will have grown with inflation. 

LHW99

Cloysterpete said:

Like this month I spent about £400 on home improvements for the bathroom, £300 on new shelving + bookcases and then about £300 on Stephen King novels from Amazon US. This lead to such worry about overspending that I ended up listing one of my figurine collections on eBay to reclaim those funds back, it’s some kind of bizarre way of thinking that I can recognise but find difficult to ever change.

why not ad a "fun spend" jam jar to your budgeting. Even if it's only a few pounds a month. Dedicated for total frippery you don't need, but really WANT!

It will take away (at least some) of the guilt / worry, as you will know that's what the money was always intended for.