Mindset over finances - am I the only one

VNX

masonic said:

markyyyyyy said:

Hi
A bit of background
I’m 36 yrs old, single
own a small home worth £120k - mortgage of £65k
savings/investments of £55k


I always feel like I don’t have enough money, and have a bit of a ‘fear’ of not having enough to live on in retirement, even though it’s a long way off

i stick to budgets and feel as though I’m ruled by these, even though I do budget for hobbies I like, the odd holiday etc.

i feel surrounded by people splashing left, right and centre, numerous holidays a year, and feel like I’m doing it wrong? Or maybe I just have a skewed perception and people rack up debts doing these things

What I’m getting at, is this a common feeling amongst people, or should I just accept it and approach the “fu** it, what will be will be” approach? 

Just here for a discussion l, am I the only one that feels like this?

There was a thread on this subject around this time last year. It was very popular and a lot of posters shared very similar sentiments.

I need budgets to encourage myself to spend. My default is to scrutinise every penny of expenditure, a budget allows me to justify discretionary spending knowing I have given it some prior thought. I don't see this as a problem, more a secret weapon against making poor spending decisions. Perhaps the influence of this site. The danger is going to the extreme of depriving yourself of a life until you are too old to make the most of your money. So some guard-rails must be set in the same way as a spendthrift needs to reign in the FOMO.

Indeed, good memory!

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6494041/has-saving-affected-your-mental-health/p1

an excellent thread 

Roger175

A few thoughts from me on this subject.

Firstly start getting money into a pension, it is so much more tax efficient.

Secondly, I know exactly how you feel. I have always been money savey. This is not only about saving, but also not spending money in the first place. For instance I have always done all my own house and car maintenance and will mend anything to make it last a bit longer. Any purchases will be long thought out and bought without credit at the best possible price/discount available

Thirdly, all my life I have been surrounded by friends and family who spend money like water, often (usually) money they don't actually have. I have an expression which I use, which is that "debt is a great leveller"... what I mean by this is that anyone can have all the latest gadgets, new car on the drive, nice house etc, but, do they actually own it? It catches up with them in the end and that's what I am seeing now. I am retired at 60 and in a very heathy financial position. Many of the people I used to envy for having that new car for example are still working their nuts off and some will struggle to retire, even at state pension age. As it turns out the lifestyle was all on credit! 

Albermarle

incus432 said:

It's a fine line between careful and tight.  I think it's often linked to seeing our parents' struggles and trying to avoiding their mistakes - in my case seeing how insecure they were financially.  As a result I probably got it a bit wrong in my 30s and 40s,and should have splashed out a bit more . You can relearn and change your habits and mindset though.

As a teenager/undergraduate student, I just spent everything I had. Saving habit started after that and then in my 30's and 40's ( and 50's) I was also definitely ( too) tight fisted. Stressing over the cost of a sunbed on holiday, looking for the cheapest item on the menu and getting stressed if another family member picked an expensive item. Even bought kids swimming armbands second hand.
Now retired I have relaxed quite a bit, and even shop in Waitrose sometimes !

mebu60

trickydicky14 said:

O my God, I've just spent £900 on a laptop and phone for myself, it's taken six months to pluck up courage to do it. To be honest, I wont even notice the money gone so why do I need to go and lay down in an darkened room.

I know the feeling well. I'm typing this on a keyboard that cost nearly £100 and is fab to use compared to the clunky £30 job I had before. But spending THAT MUCH on myself . . . . . . . . . . . . .

infj

22225 said:

I like some of the things Ramit Sethi says even tho it feels v cringe to listen to someone talking on YouTube about a rich life. He does talk about saving money but also about spending money on things or services that would really make you happy.

Yes, I've listened to a lot of Ramit Sethi in the past 6 months and he does make you think about your attitudes to money. Most of the US couples he has on are on salaries that most British people could only dream about and it's interesting to see that he's right about how the amount doesn't matter in relation to how you feel about it. To be fair he has had some people with lower salaries on and some single people. But he's pushing his new book at the moment so it's all couples recently.
His Conscious Spending plan is a budget (despite what he says  ) but it's a slightly different way of looking at managing your money.

But in his classification of saving types, I'm definitely an optimizer/worrier (as I suspect would most people on MSE be).
I am trying to be less so based on some of his ideas - trying to remember that I can easily afford it if it will make life easier or more enjoyable. But I am never going to turn into some mad spender - it's just not in me.

Alexland

Roger175 said:

Any purchases will be long thought out and bought without credit at the best possible price/discount available

I find that using credit facilities can often provide an additional layer of discount so the item ends up costing less than otherwise or at least you have the opportunity to earn a return on the money you would have otherwise paid upfront. As long as you are only buying the things you would have bought anyway and have the cash already available to repay then credit can be a useful tool.

incus432

Albermarle said:

Now retired I have relaxed quite a bit, and even shop in Waitrose sometimes !

Steady on.  It'll be M&S next

Roger175

Alexland said:

Roger175 said:

Any purchases will be long thought out and bought without credit at the best possible price/discount available

I find that using credit facilities can often provide an additional layer of discount so the item ends up costing less than otherwise or at least you have the opportunity to earn a return on the money you would have otherwise paid upfront. As long as you are only buying the things you would have bought anyway and have the cash already available to repay then credit can be a useful tool.

Oh don't get me wrong, that's all part of the process. We bought a new settee/chairs 4 years ago and they wouldn't give any discount, but were offering interest free credit, so we took that and earned a bit of interest on the money. The point I was making was that we don't buy anything we can't afford and would never resort to credit simply to buy something that we hadn't already saved for.

Hoenir

Roger175 said:

Alexland said:

Roger175 said:

Any purchases will be long thought out and bought without credit at the best possible price/discount available

I find that using credit facilities can often provide an additional layer of discount so the item ends up costing less than otherwise or at least you have the opportunity to earn a return on the money you would have otherwise paid upfront. As long as you are only buying the things you would have bought anyway and have the cash already available to repay then credit can be a useful tool.

Oh don't get me wrong, that's all part of the process. We bought a new settee/chairs 4 years ago and they wouldn't give any discount, but were offering interest free credit, so we took that and earned a bit of interest on the money. The point I was making was that we don't buy anything we can't afford and would never resort to credit simply to buy something that we hadn't already saved for.

No such thing as interest free credit. The margin / mark up on furniture is eyewatering.  Not least sofa's.  Which consist of very little when you take them apart. 

Roger175

Hoenir said:

Roger175 said:

Alexland said:

Roger175 said:

Any purchases will be long thought out and bought without credit at the best possible price/discount available

I find that using credit facilities can often provide an additional layer of discount so the item ends up costing less than otherwise or at least you have the opportunity to earn a return on the money you would have otherwise paid upfront. As long as you are only buying the things you would have bought anyway and have the cash already available to repay then credit can be a useful tool.

Oh don't get me wrong, that's all part of the process. We bought a new settee/chairs 4 years ago and they wouldn't give any discount, but were offering interest free credit, so we took that and earned a bit of interest on the money. The point I was making was that we don't buy anything we can't afford and would never resort to credit simply to buy something that we hadn't already saved for.

No such thing as interest free credit. The margin / mark up on furniture is eyewatering.  Not least sofa's.  Which consist of very little when you take them apart. 

Whilst I totally agree about the value for money aspect, I don't agree with your first part. If, like us you have done your research, chosen a sofa which you find comfortable, has all the right reclining options and is in the right colour etc, and the shop refuses to offer any 'cash' discount, you might as well take the interest free credit option. There was no arrangement fee or any interest charged over and above the cash price, so why was it not free at that point. I know it's built into the shop's margin, but so be it.