More WIRE than FIRE, simplifying, saving and savvy spending

ShyAndRetiring

Hello @Humboldt ... appreciate you reaching out. I tried to get on here at the weekend but wasn't successful!

  Sorry I haven't been updating, we've been hit a couple of more low blows since last time I checked in ~ another bereavement, this time a little closer to home and of a similar age to OH, which was a shock.

This was followed almost immediately by a major medical episode for OH which resulted in an ambulance and a long, wakeful overnight in A&E for both of us. We are currently waiting for his follow-up appointments as the A&E consultant referred him in several directions and we're also waiting on a GP appointment for follow-up there too. He has medication that he must take in the meantime as he remains at high risk of another incident. The whole episode was rather shocking and we've both been left reeling a bit. This week sees us trying to reinstate normal life but as OH is now not allowed to drive until specialist gives the nod, our normal is already quite different. 

I'm very grateful for the support of friends who instantly dropped everything to help and for the support of our fab NHS. Seeing what they achieve, with care and compassion, across the dark hours of the night in A&E was truly humbling. 

I'm also grateful that, with the start of 2025 being the way it has so far, we'd already made such steps towards FIRE for me. After what happened and the nature of the follow up investigations, as I may well be in a position of caring for OH as much as the Older Ones in the near future. We're trying to be optimistic that this won't be the case, but it doesn't hurt to hope for the best whilst taking precautions against a slightly worse case scenario. If nothing else, the last 6 weeks have shown us that it's not a bad thing to focus on health rather than wealth, and to prioritise time together and a simple life rather than 'just another year' (or 8 as the government would have me doing). 

I hope to be back with a proper update ASAP ~ there has definitely been some sorting and not a lot of spending, so all heading in the right direction. Just have to boost the well-being and energy banks for OH in the meantime!

Appreciate the check-in and hope all is well for others, S&R x

BrilliantButScary

I am sorry to hear that your husband has not been very well. I can truly empathise, as I too had an overnight stay with my husband at A&E, via ambulance about 3 weeks ago. My husband collapsed whilst we were out and I did think, at one point,  I might end up having to do CPR. The whole incident made us both feel very vulnerable. It has taken a while for him to feel more like his normal self, as he was very tired. All investigations were done at A&E, and a heart attack and stroke were ruled out, thankfully.

Our circumstances sound quite similar to yours. There is a similar age gap between me and my husband, he being the older. I finished working almost 2 years ago, and really enjoy the time we are able to spend together. Health is wealth, and I worry more about not having enough time, rather than running out of money.

I hope that everything goes well for your husband. Don't forget to take care of yourself too, and take up offers of help from friends if needed. 
Best Wishes

Humboldt

Oh my goodness @ShyAndRetiring I was so sorry to read your latest update.  What a dreadful experience for you and your DH.  I'm not sure what the right words are for such circumstances, all I can suggest is take one day at a time.  Some day's will no doubt be better than others, but tomorrow is always a new day. As per @BrilliantButScary's advice, don't forget to show yourself some tlc and take up offers of help as and when needed. No rush to respond, take care of yourselves. 

Humboldt

BrilliantButScary said:

I am sorry to hear that your husband has not been very well. I can truly empathise, as I too had an overnight stay with my husband at A&E, via ambulance about 3 weeks ago. My husband collapsed whilst we were out and I did think, at one point,  I might end up having to do CPR. The whole incident made us both feel very vulnerable. It has taken a while for him to feel more like his normal self, as he was very tired. All investigations were done at A&E, and a heart attack and stroke were ruled out, thankfully.

Our circumstances sound quite similar to yours. There is a similar age gap between me and my husband, he being the older. I finished working almost 2 years ago, and really enjoy the time we are able to spend together. Health is wealth, and I worry more about not having enough time, rather than running out of money.

I hope that everything goes well for your husband. Don't forget to take care of yourself too, and take up offers of help from friends if needed. 
Best Wishes

Hi @BrilliantButScary so sorry to read that your DH has also been unwell, but pleased that he is beginning to feel more like his normal self.  There is so much more to life than money, especially when you finally realise that the best things in life cost little, or nothing. I wish you both well.

BrilliantButScary

Humboldt said:

Hi BrilliantButScary said:

I am sorry to hear that your husband has not been very well. I can truly empathise, as I too had an overnight stay with my husband at A&E, via ambulance about 3 weeks ago. My husband collapsed whilst we were out and I did think, at one point,  I might end up having to do CPR. The whole incident made us both feel very vulnerable. It has taken a while for him to feel more like his normal self, as he was very tired. All investigations were done at A&E, and a heart attack and stroke were ruled out, thankfully.

Our circumstances sound quite similar to yours. There is a similar age gap between me and my husband, he being the older. I finished working almost 2 years ago, and really enjoy the time we are able to spend together. Health is wealth, and I worry more about not having enough time, rather than running out of money.

I hope that everything goes well for your husband. Don't forget to take care of yourself too, and take up offers of help from friends if needed. 
Best Wishes

Hi @BrilliantButScary so sorry to read that your DH has also been unwell, but pleased that he is beginning to feel more like his normal self.  There is so much more to life than money, especially when you finally realise that the best things in life cost little, or nothing. I wish you both well.

Hi @Humboldt,

Thank you for your kind wishes.
This is why I feel 'at home' on the over 50's Money Saving forum rather than the Pension forum.

Everyone needs enough to 'live on', and I have learnt a lot on the Pension forum, but it can get a bit 'tedious'.

A quote from my gratitude diary,
'When you first wake up and before you go to bed take the time to think what you are thankful for.'
 

ShyAndRetiring

BrilliantButScary said:

I am sorry to hear that your husband has not been very well. I can truly empathise, as I too had an overnight stay with my husband at A&E, via ambulance about 3 weeks ago. My husband collapsed whilst we were out and I did think, at one point,  I might end up having to do CPR. The whole incident made us both feel very vulnerable. It has taken a while for him to feel more like his normal self, as he was very tired. All investigations were done at A&E, and a heart attack and stroke were ruled out, thankfully.

Our circumstances sound quite similar to yours. There is a similar age gap between me and my husband, he being the older. I finished working almost 2 years ago, and really enjoy the time we are able to spend together. Health is wealth, and I worry more about not having enough time, rather than running out of money.

I hope that everything goes well for your husband. Don't forget to take care of yourself too, and take up offers of help from friends if needed. 
Best Wishes

Gosh @BrilliantButScary that sounds exactly the same scenario and I am so sorry that it has happened to you both as well. The only difference is that I that I'd popped the dog out and came home to find OH unconscious and bleeding as he hit furniture on his way to the floor, apparently . Otherwise, it all sounds the same and you're completely right about how vulnerable it makes you feel. Thanks for sharing, both the experience and how it's made you feel, you're exactly right that time now feels like the more finite factor than the pennies, however scarce income may become in the future.

This week is a little easier in many ways, but we are still waiting for the promised follow up appointments, so will contact GP before the end of the week if no calls have come through. Appreciate your good wishes and truly hope that both your husband and yourself are recovering from your incident too., S&R x

ShyAndRetiring

Humboldt said:

Oh my goodness @ShyAndRetiring I was so sorry to read your latest update.  What a dreadful experience for you and your DH.  I'm not sure what the right words are for such circumstances, all I can suggest is take one day at a time.  Some day's will no doubt be better than others, but tomorrow is always a new day. As per @BrilliantButScary's advice, don't forget to show yourself some tlc and take up offers of help as and when needed. No rush to respond, take care of yourselves. 

Thank you @Humboldt for your kind words, taking one day at a time is indeed a good suggestion and is largely what's happening at the moment. We've learned a lot about each other from this incident and about our fears / hopes for the future and even for 'afterwards.' The incident feels both indicative of, plus relative to the stage of life we find ourselves in and has been a bit of a wake-up call to us both.

I hope all is well with you too Humboldt and thanks for stopping by to support. As @BrilliantButScary states, this board is very much one where the folks make you feel at home and offer a word or two of advice and support, it's something I truly appreciate.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed asap - as well as a few NSDs! S&R x

ShyAndRetiring

  March update:

Trying to get back to what I was doing, so it seems easiest to aim for a March update as a whole seeing as the month will end within the week (and thank goodness really)! 

So where are we?

FREE MONEY THIS MONTH = £130

• SURVEY GOAL of £50 - for reasons previously mentioned, this has fallen by the wayside really, although I should hit a total of £30 which roughly meets my minimum goal of £1 a day! £4 still to clear from pending then I will scoop it all across to the Xmas 52 week challenge.  
• Bank app shows £100 'Thank You' payment due from bank, £50 for each of us, which should arrive at some point in April.

GO-BELOW POT GOAL - Plot completely lost on this, can't even remember which pot I was going to focus on! However, we've done well for fuel again this month - less than £40 which is under the lower budget of £60 set last month, so I'll take that as a win! 

WEEKLY NSD GOAL 4/7 - may have mostly achieved this but lost the thread with actually logging these. Some days we've not spent a bean because our focus has been elsewhere, other days we've been on extra contingency spends based on recent events, such as spare keys cut for friend, car parking for medical appointments etc.

£750 WEDDING WEEKEND GOAL - no progress, total so far: £100 / £500. I may give up with logging this and just allocate my small pensions contribution refund to this, when it comes through.

DEBT - has not been increased and is all still at 0%. To start the month, my payments were a bit slower but have managed other funds OK and have now paid off approx £160 across the two. 

• CC #1: £80 paid in March, balance: £200 to pay.

• CC #2: £84 paid in March, balance: £200 to pay.

 MALARKEY IN MARCH 

SAVING:

• The bodywork fix on our car has not happened for several reasons, including the wrong parts being repeatedly supplied to the mechanic. Over £30 spent in courier costs for returning the wrong items, so not prepared to keep paying out without the work being done, life's too short for that so we will wear our dink with pride and shelve the fix for the time being.
• £85 credit refund received from energy supplier ~ better in our bank than theirs!

SPENDING:

• Received the new council tax bill and now sorted it so that the payments are across 12 months. Of course it's the time of year where it's all increased, but I always budgeted the cost across 12 months, so that we'd have spare. With this rejig and the new bill for 25/26, the monthly DD is now down by £30 a month, which is useful.
• We've started house fixing for the spring and the larger jobs we planned to do have come in on budget so far, so no overspends to report. Decorating still to be done (goal for April, post to follow). 

SORTING:

March started well for getting things done, although OH has now been unable to help with most of it. The loft has been fully cleared, boarded and mostly sorted. My aim was to just put the essential keeping and storing items back but, with recent events, I just ended up bunging about 5 or 6 large boxes back up there, to get them back out of the way. Determined not to forget about them though, the loft is now much easier to access so I can do an hour or so at it every time we get a foul weather weekend!  

Even-better-if Challenges

• DECLUTTERING #1: yarn stash use-up - am still stumbling my way through the crochet-along project. Am several weeks behind and really want to move on as I have some things to make for the house, but I've started so I'll finish  and am still using stash yarn only: 20 / 52 balls used up so far in 2025.  Erm, I may also have found another stash box in the loft, so current count includes 7 balls passed on to another knitter in the family to use.

• DECLUTTERING #2: 200 / 365 - to be honest, if I counted every individual item which left the loft (and then the house) we'd have already achieved this goal. But I don't want to get complacent and there is more to be done, so I've rounded it up to 200 items so far, as a compromise.

• NO BUYING TOILETRIES USE UP CHALLENGE - ongoing, 3 more items completely used up this month (body spray, lip balm, shower gel) so 10 / 52.  

• Xmas 25 52-week challenge now stands at £660 / £1378.

• LIFE ADMIN: This will have its own post at some point in April as OH's medical issues now necessitate that there is a Folder of Things that each other and family can pick up and run with if either of us is indisposed. Currently in the thinking phase of how to tweak what we had started to do. Action so far is realising that we need to do it and reassigning two poly-pocket folders from loft stuff to now be a Life Admin folder for each of us.

Simple pleasures = All Good Things

I still have many simple pleasures but also gratitude is also a huge thing for us at the moment (thank you @BrilliantButScary for the timely mention and reminder of this) because, despite March's medical mayhem, we feel incredibly lucky. So my simple pleasures mentions will be renamed All Good Things, so that when I post I can pay attention to the good things too, in a way which combines thankful and simple!

Hope everyone else is enjoying a sunny day today, as are we. S&R x

Humboldt

Morning @ShyAndRetiring your resilience shines through on your recent update. Every hiccup is followed by positive forward thinking, every plan is considered in a balanced and measured way. What an inspiration to all.

Go you £130 free money!.  Enjoy the weekend.

BrilliantButScary

Good morning @ShyAndRetiring,

I have been called a 'Pollyanna' by an ex-colleague, but it has served me well both on the personal and professional fronts. This does not mean that I am not pragmatic as well, and like you need to focus on sorting 'Life Admin'. 
Hope you are not waiting too long for those health appointments to come through for your OH.

Best Wishes. BBS x