Divorce and property division after 20 years of marriage.

Not_Really

I am a 50-year-old woman who has been married for just over 20 years. Recently, I discovered that my husband has been cheating on me with other men and has had sporadic relationships with different men at least once a month. This is something I cannot accept, so I am considering asking for a divorce soon.

Here is an overview of our assets:

• We own a house valued at approximately £700,000. We have paid off around 70% of the mortgage, so we own about 30% of the house.

• We have some cash in the bank, including ISAs and a few savings accounts, amounting to around £150,000.

• I have about £200,000 in my private work pension.

• He does not have any Private work pension.

We were married in Syria but have spent most of our married life living in various countries, including Germany, the USA, Italy, and mostly in the UK.

My question is: If we divorce, how will the division of property be handled? Will it be an equal 50/50 split? I read that judges may decide the split ratio based on the contributions of each spouse.

Here is our situation:

• At the beginning of our marriage, we earned roughly equal salaries for at least five years £30K each .

• We then moved to the USA, where he earned roughly 50% more than me for at least five years Me £80.000 He £120.000 .

• He stopped working for at least three years, and for the past eight years, he has been earning around minimum wage while I earn more than £150,000 a year.

• We Don't have any children

Keep_pedalling

With no children you are looking at a 50/50 split of all assets including your pension. Is there a reason other than personal choice why he has not worked for the last three years?

lisyloo

You'll need to get advice from a solicitor.
Starting point is 50/50, anything else needs to be mutually agreed or taken to court.
Is there a reason he's on a low wage i.e. is it a matter of choice? or out of his control e.g. sickness?

There isn't any quick answer here, it's all according to what you agree (some people take the minimum as they are keen to walk away rather than have a protracted dispute) and what a court feels is fair.
A friend recently divorced and they didn't get as far as court but it still took 18 months.

One thing I would do (if you haven't already) is make a record e.g. snapshots, of all the balances, just if case any of the money is withdrawn by him.

I'm not a divorce solicitor but it seems to me that 50/50 would be fair. You've both been the higher earner for varying periods of time and his choices (or not) to be a low earner is presumably a lifestyle choice you've made together as a couple or a situation out of his control (like sickness). in a long term situation of ups/downs and choices I'd say 50/50 is far easier.
Of course there could be a lot more to it and you might want to fight and/or make a point in which case you need a good solicitor and be prepared for a protracted dispute and high costs.

BTW - the cheating/fault doesn't come into the financial settlement at all.

Not_Really

lisyloo said:

Is there a reason he's on a low wage i.e. is it a matter of choice? or out of his control e.g. sickness?

Hi, it's his own choice. I guess my salary is good enough for both of us to live comfortably, so he has no real motivation to look for something better.

Emmia

Not_Really said:

I am a 50-year-old woman who has been married for just over 20 years. Recently, I discovered that my husband has been cheating on me with other men and has had sporadic relationships with different men at least once a month. This is something I cannot accept, so I am considering asking for a divorce soon.

Here is an overview of our assets:

• We own a house valued at approximately £700,000. We have paid off around 70% of the mortgage, so we own about 30% of the house.

• We have some cash in the bank, including ISAs and a few savings accounts, amounting to around £150,000.

• I have about £200,000 in my private work pension.

• He does not have any Private work pension.

We were married in Syria but have spent most of our married life living in various countries, including Germany, the USA, Italy, and mostly in the UK.

My question is: If we divorce, how will the division of property be handled? Will it be an equal 50/50 split? I read that judges may decide the split ratio based on the contributions of each spouse.

Here is our situation:

• At the beginning of our marriage, we earned roughly equal salaries for at least five years £30K each .

• We then moved to the USA, where he earned roughly 50% more than me for at least five years Me £80.000 He £120.000 .

• He stopped working for at least three years, and for the past eight years, he has been earning around minimum wage while I earn more than £150,000 a year.

• We Don't have any children

If you've paid off 70% of the mortgage, you own more than 30% of the house. 

lisyloo

I would get advice. For 5 years you earned the same and for 5 years he earned more.

It really is up to both of you whether you want to walk away 50/50 or whether you want a protracted dispute which may have to go to court (5 figures).
Note that judges do not like "frivolous" cases so if either partner turns down a reasonable offer they may have to pay the other sides costs. You can use this to your advantage by making him a decent offer that is not bad enough to go to court. You'll both be advised of the risks of turning down a reasonable offer by your respective solicitors.

Do you want to just walk away as quickly as possible so you can move on or do you want to fight?
I can see reasons for both.

lisyloo

Not_Really said:

lisyloo said:

Is there a reason he's on a low wage i.e. is it a matter of choice? or out of his control e.g. sickness?

Hi, it's his own choice. I guess my salary is good enough for both of us to live comfortably, so he has no real motivation to look for something better.

Apart from being not comfortably off in retirement due to both having poor pension provision.
Not meaning to sound harsh, but these things will come up.

Keep_pedalling

Emmia said:

Not_Really said:

I am a 50-year-old woman who has been married for just over 20 years. Recently, I discovered that my husband has been cheating on me with other men and has had sporadic relationships with different men at least once a month. This is something I cannot accept, so I am considering asking for a divorce soon.

Here is an overview of our assets:

• We own a house valued at approximately £700,000. We have paid off around 70% of the mortgage, so we own about 30% of the house.

• We have some cash in the bank, including ISAs and a few savings accounts, amounting to around £150,000.

• I have about £200,000 in my private work pension.

• He does not have any Private work pension.

We were married in Syria but have spent most of our married life living in various countries, including Germany, the USA, Italy, and mostly in the UK.

My question is: If we divorce, how will the division of property be handled? Will it be an equal 50/50 split? I read that judges may decide the split ratio based on the contributions of each spouse.

Here is our situation:

• At the beginning of our marriage, we earned roughly equal salaries for at least five years £30K each .

• We then moved to the USA, where he earned roughly 50% more than me for at least five years Me £80.000 He £120.000 .

• He stopped working for at least three years, and for the past eight years, he has been earning around minimum wage while I earn more than £150,000 a year.

• We Don't have any children

If you've paid off 70% of the mortgage, you own more than 30% of the house. 

It’s the marital home, it does not work like that.

Emmia

Keep_pedalling said:

Emmia said:

Not_Really said:

I am a 50-year-old woman who has been married for just over 20 years. Recently, I discovered that my husband has been cheating on me with other men and has had sporadic relationships with different men at least once a month. This is something I cannot accept, so I am considering asking for a divorce soon.

Here is an overview of our assets:

• We own a house valued at approximately £700,000. We have paid off around 70% of the mortgage, so we own about 30% of the house.

• We have some cash in the bank, including ISAs and a few savings accounts, amounting to around £150,000.

• I have about £200,000 in my private work pension.

• He does not have any Private work pension.

We were married in Syria but have spent most of our married life living in various countries, including Germany, the USA, Italy, and mostly in the UK.

My question is: If we divorce, how will the division of property be handled? Will it be an equal 50/50 split? I read that judges may decide the split ratio based on the contributions of each spouse.

Here is our situation:

• At the beginning of our marriage, we earned roughly equal salaries for at least five years £30K each .

• We then moved to the USA, where he earned roughly 50% more than me for at least five years Me £80.000 He £120.000 .

• He stopped working for at least three years, and for the past eight years, he has been earning around minimum wage while I earn more than £150,000 a year.

• We Don't have any children

If you've paid off 70% of the mortgage, you own more than 30% of the house. 

It’s the marital home, it does not work like that.

As a collective couple they should own more than 30% having paid off 70% of the mortgage - not withstanding rising house prices etc.

The house will need to be sold and the proceeds split, or one will need to buy the other out at the current market value. 

Edit: how do you think it works?

Savvy_Sue

The OP could do worse than look at wikivorce, before looking for a good divorce solicitor. The pension is probably going to need a pension sharing order, which is going to require a valuation, which is going to take time ... 

VyEu

This looks like a clear 50/50 split. It's a long marriage. The court won't look at the ins and outs and do an accounting exercise. It doesn't work like that. They'll look at 50/50 and can deviate from that depending on earning capacity, age, income etc. but really nothing you've said screams reason to depart from equality.