Prosperous & Creative Soul Year 4

savingholmes

astrocytic_kitten said:

Wow SH! That’s quite a list of accomplishments, I’m in awe at what you’ve achieved.

I felt that my spending went through the roof in the year after moving too, it’s an expensive business. Not to mention extra jumpers for a colder than I was used to home! You’ll get there.

Thanks AK for the encouragement. My achievements were helped by equity release from the last house... I was naïve on the cost of moving - however - now more of the work is done - I'm loving my home and garden more and more. I'm currently sat in my back L shape - with a view of my garden with its raised beds and new planting, the tarmac and pavers - and even my new step up to the raised lawn. It looks good - even at this time of year. I have a mahonia in flower in my eyeline as well as a white Christmas rose and some cyclamen. Plus the promise of other flowering plants to come later in the year. I'm also watching the birds on my feeder which brings me daily joy (dunnock, blackbird, robins, some kind of tit etc - just today).

DD and her BF celebrated NYD with me - and I got some help moving an extremely heavy parasol to the corner. I need to adjust it somewhat but the back garden is getting there. I want to establish a flower / cutting garden this year - so need to finish planting some bulbs. It's nice to see the ones I've planted previously showing through too - which encourages me to continue my efforts. 

savingholmes

WelshmansDaughter said:

Apparently we used to sleep in two phases with an awake time in the middle of the night.

That does make sense - however I'm not getting to sleep until between 2.30 and 4.30 so my body clock is totally screwed up! I got up at 10 today to help with that and will try and bring it back half an hour tomorrow and Sunday so that Monday is less of a shock.

KajiKita said:

@savingholmes, your comments about ADHD / ASD spending got me cogitating and reflecting ….

It’s made me realise that I’m someone who spends to make myself feel better, usually on plants (which I have no room / prepared ground for), cooking gadgets (which I have no space for) or craft things (which are just on top of existing stocks I already have), all of which makes me feel worse. 

If I were to stop and sort whatever is making me feel bad; clearing the garden, find new recipes or food combinations or just do something / anything creative, I think I wouldn’t spend. Or if I did, I would spend to good / positive effect. 

Thank you for making me think about this 😊❤️

KK

I am glad it helped. I definitely increase pressure and overwhelm when I over-buy - not just due to the cost - but mostly due to the space the items then take up. The items then nag at me until I use them - or worse I forget them until I go to rebuy them and then I think 'Oh where did they go...?'

savingholmes

skint_spice said:

Well done SH, you have achieved a lot already and enjoyed some lovely holidays. 

I am determined to spend less in 2025 and it’s interesting everyone talking about their spending, I need to have a think about mine.

Thanks Skint. I recommend doing an SOA even if you don't share it - as it was then easy to see where the lifestyle creep had set in and that my holiday 'desires' were unaffordable unless I want to continue eroding savings. I also need to pace the desired work on the house. 

debtfreeoneday said:

Happy New Year 

Thanks and to you.

Thanks Beanie - the colours and the cat are so cute!!

mark55man said:

Happy new year SH and to you all.  Love the picture beanielou

Just keep going and keep strong SH there will always be something, but whatever it is you got it covered!!

That is so true - we'll get there. Happy New Year to you too.

savingholmes

As I wrote earlier - I've spent a lot of this time off collaging using magazines, pretty paper etc - to work through some of the issues and concerns I have relating to the past - and trying to come up with a cohesive vision for my future. I've done this on a mix of journals and created some 'vision' boards. 

For one of the boards - I found a load of photos from when I was much younger (say late teens / early 20s) - when I was slim, fit and beautiful (even though I didn't recognise it then). I've put them on a vision board - as part of seeking to reclaim what I've hidden under a 'fat suit' as one book I read called it. I want to thank my fat suit for protecting me from unwanted male attention (harassment / assault etc) but I'm now ready to let it go and use other means to protect myself. It's easy to say it's impossible when you look at images of other people - but when you look at images of yourself - it's harder to say it's impossible as it was once possible for you - and therefore a version of it could be reclaimed. I know early menopause made it harder etc etc - but even if I got within 3 stone of what I was then I'd be delighted and much healthier. 

I want to lose 14lbs by the end of March - and have set myself other interim goals over the year. I'm aiming to lose about 42lbs this year - and if I achieve that - hopefully the same again next year. I want to arrive at my later years much fitter and healthier and stronger, more mobile and flexible than I am now. Ironically that could however undermine my finances as I could lose some benefits but it would be worth it in other ways to improve the quality of my life and health and try to undo some of the visible damage of the past (weight etc).

I've also been listening to a book on the joy of being single - and have utterly loved it. Not finished it yet. But I so relate to what she was saying. I have no plans to rush into dating (3 years post divorce!) but won't completely shut the door on it if I meet someone special. However, currently I doubt I'd want to live with someone else again - and would prefer to always retain my own space. I also heard recently that we meet someone at our level of emotional maturity - so part of me wants to work on that some more first!! (if ever). I want to expand my friendship network - hard for me due to autism - but I'm hoping that if I can 'find my tribe' - perhaps through art groups / classes - that could immensely enrich my life. It could also reduce some of my costs - as I could reduce my counselling support - if I had a wider friendship circle.

savingholmes

I've been taking a hard look at my finances. In an ideal world I'd like 2 holidays abroad for around £2.5K - but could only do that if I use savings - or radically cut costs in other areas. 

CC spends c551 pcm min unless I use savings to clear them which I could but want to delay if possible as 0% on CC vs 4.5%+ on savings. 

I can clear CC3 this month - £112. 

I reckon I can clear close to £2.9K off CC2 before the 0% expires. That means I would then need to either transfer £6K or reduce my savings come August. This relies on me sticking to my budget better than I have been doing. 

An extract from my SOA.

These are the discretionary spend areas I need to improve: 

Groceries etc.                                250 (spend more than this currently - ASD & need for prepared veg etc makes this difficult)

Clothing                                           30 (spend more than this currently)

Gifts (birthday, Xmas, Charity) 70 (spend more in practice - original goal was £40) 

Emergency fund/RSaver             50 (using savings for emergencies)

Counselling                                    160 (4 sessions - my original budget was 2 but lots of RL carp)

My original goal for the items below was £100-150 average combined with an uneven spread to allow for specific experiences. Actual is closer to £253. I've paid £49 upfront for Italian - so annual cost just sunk... leaving approx £60 a month for art groups / classes.

Art supplies                                      50 (more in reality!)

Nat T                                                8 (pay annually)

Eating out                                        50 

Youtube                                            13

Audible                                             12 (pay annually)

Education                                        65 (art & Italian)

Garden                                             10 (more in reality! - spent £60 just last week)

Dis                                             10

Entertainment                                20 (guestimate, magazines etc)

Journals                                      £15 

Cleaning - I budgeted £100 at the start of 2023 - but costs generally higher but uneven spread. Struggled to get a cleaner - and DD's BF not being consistent in practice

Cleaner/handyman                     120-135 (not always using this but some months last year I spent more like £700 on a handyman after moving !!)

My budget has no slack in it (max £60 based on current spends) for the maintenance work I need - electrics, joinery etc - so likely to use savings for that.                                    

Holiday                                             0 (likely to use savings for this or CC) My pre-move goal for this was £800-1K a year. Now I'd like holidays abroad so perhaps costs of closer to £2.5K but really increased value - as sunshine, beauty, culture and hotel service combined benefits feel worth it to me... but I don't want to erode my savings more than necessary.

As I say - redoing my SOA was eye-opening!!

jwil

My spending tracking last year was eye opening too.  It's definitely worth doing!

My library has a huge selection of magazines available through Borrowbox, does yours have the same?  I can read them on my ipad for free.

Good luck with your ambitions for this year.  I also have a photo of me when I was younger and slimmer and would like to be closer to that.

LadyWithAPlan

savingholmes said:

As I wrote earlier - I've spent a lot of this time off collaging using magazines, pretty paper etc - to work through some of the issues and concerns I have relating to the past - and trying to come up with a cohesive vision for my future. I've done this on a mix of journals and created some 'vision' boards. 


I've also been listening to a book on the joy of being single - and have utterly loved it. Not finished it yet. But I so relate to what she was saying. I have no plans to rush into dating (3 years post divorce!) but won't completely shut the door on it if I meet someone special. However, currently I doubt I'd want to live with someone else again - and would prefer to always retain my own space. I also heard recently that we meet someone at our level of emotional maturity - so part of me wants to work on that some more first!! (if ever). I want to expand my friendship network - hard for me due to autism - but I'm hoping that if I can 'find my tribe' - perhaps through art groups / classes - that could immensely enrich my life. It could also reduce some of my costs - as I could reduce my counselling support - if I had a wider friendship circle.

Loving these vision boards, I am doing one this weekend for my home. I think you have done amazingly after your illness then the home buying. It seems you are making this you forever home so its understandable to want it done asap and make it perfect.

Maybe if you want to pull back  you need to choose each month between getting a home improvement job done vs AVC vs holiday savings - or split all extra cash 3 ways and spend no more than that each month. 

Having the spare cash makes it so easy to spend, thats why I did the Oct-Dec 23 wrote down all non essential spending on my blog and was shocked (!)  at how my savings were not going up when I was spending loads. I   kept getting caught by my cc bill so all extra money to be saved had to be used to pay off the cc's instead.
It is too easy to pay for things on the cc i 'need' or 'want' and of course your forever home is a huge need and want in getting it perfect

I dont know if you have tried YNAB but 13 months in it has been fundamental to me pulling my spending back. YNAB treats your cc as actual money spent (!) so most of us realise we are on the cc float or hiding extra spends that way.
On reddit a lot with ADHD/autistic say they find the level of control it gives calming. It may not be the case for you of course.
There is also a FB group called YNAB-ing and Neurodivergent

I also LOVE being single  - in Buddhism we say we meet people at the same life state as ourselves, which of course can move quickly  so we have to constantly work at improving and transforming ourselves as well as keeping our hearts/life state high.

On the diet side  have you tried the Tim Ferriss slow carb way of eating? I have the book on pdf I can send if you want. PM me your email.
Basically 6 days a week you replace all white carbs with beans .. you never get hungry and definitely the more I am on it the more I have slimmed down. I do exercise but that menopausal creep has disappeared and post xmas /winter cold now eating fabulous food just with beans not rice/potatoes/bread makes you  feel comforted, full and healthy. You will start feel slimmer and less bloated from the first morning after day 1 and  the beans stop cravings, keep blood sugar levels calm, make you feel full and well fed.
 So beans, meat/fish, loads of veg,  a few walnuts and brazils.You can drink red wine but nothing else
No fruit, no dairy, no white carbs. 
Day 7 you eat/drink what you want then back in.

My dad is overweight and I am pushing him to eat more beans/pulses  as I have seen great results in myself.  I am living on dal, mexican beans, brazilian feijoada, ... and loads veg and some protein.

beanielou said:

Happy new year to you xx

LOVING this. Yes we all need more PURRS In fact 2025 might become my year of MORE PURRS

savingholmes

I've used a £33 refund gift card towards a small grocery shop - and just added about £11 to that. Hopefully - snow allowing - it will be delivered tomorrow morning. If not I'll have to nip to the corner shop. I don't trust myself not to over-spend if I go in shops at the moment. 

That would then allow me to get a similar order of around £40ish in a week's time. If I go back to more regular weekly deliveries it may help me stick to my budget better. It's worth a shot. I have a lot of reduced price meat in my freezer so that should help me stick to my budget for a while.

I want to make some loaded potato skins soon. While they may be higher fat that SW would recommend - I tend to eat them with salad so it feels like it should balance out. I've put some sausages out to defrost too. Again - my main food problem is snacking so I'm not going to over-worry about the fat content of my main meals... 

Still not dressed yet. I need a shower and lacked the energy to do that yet... Such is life... 

SandyShores

Snacking is my problem too - packs of crisps and biscuits.  I'm starting the new year with a resolution to cut out snacks and to eat a bit more healthily.  I was just listening to a podcast about making sure you leave 12 hours between evening meal and breakfast, so I'm going to try that as well.

jwil

Hope you manage to get your shopping ok.

If you are struggling with overbuying in shops one option might be withdrawing x amount of cash and going with that and leaving all cards at home.   Or have a separate bank account which you 'top up' with only the amount you want to spend.  Of course avoiding shops is also a good strategy!