Daughter excluded from grandmothers will - please help!

KatieBW123

Marcon said:

KatieBW123 said:

Keep_pedalling said:

KatieBW123 said:

elsien said:

You have no rights to see the will until after probate. And with a complex estate, probate is likely to take longer than the six months it has been so far. And even if you knew who the solicitors were, they would not share the information with you. 

He has made changes to the will so that he is the beneficiary, rather than his third daughter. All this done after his mother had become very ill, couldn’t speak. I guess rich people can do whatever they like

You don’t actually know that as you have not even seen the will yet.

I know what the will said up until 2022 and what he’s telling her now. 

Do you? Did you actually have sight of it?

Actually no. But I was there when she called him to tell him about these changes, which he regarded as him being disinherited. I have a distinct memory of him rocking in a chair, crying and saying “I want my inheritance”. Things remained *fairly* cordial between us until I had to instruct family lawyers and it was frequently discussed (by him) that his share was to be divided between his three children. 

LightFlare

I won’t say everything that I am thinking BUT would advise that you just forget about it and move on with your lives

 No point in driving you and your daughter “insane” for something that isn’t in  your control

Hold a grudge if you want - but don’t let it rule your life.

theoretica

If you really think someone fraudulently changed her will when she was incapable of doing so (of course being unable to speak does not by itself mean she couldn't have clear wishes and communicate them) then see here:  https://www.gov.uk/stop-probate-application

KatieBW123

LightFlare said:

I won’t say everything that I am thinking BUT would advise that you just forget about it and move on with your lives

 No point in driving you and your daughter “insane” for something that isn’t in  your control

Hold a grudge if you want - but don’t let it rule your life.

No feel free to say it! I quite agree actually, much of the last few years has been about trying to extract us from his vice-like controlling grip. There is no price on freedom and better to live a life on your own terms. While I hold no grudge, my issue is that he sees her and drip feeds a self-serving narrative that she is not quite enough, right down to expressing resentment that she even exists. Not only is it garbage, very damaging but it IS the hill I’m prepared to die on. 

KatieBW123

theoretica said:

If you really think someone fraudulently changed her will when she was incapable of doing so (of course being unable to speak does not by itself mean she couldn't have clear wishes and communicate them) then see here:  https://www.gov.uk/stop-probate-application

Thank you. I think this would be an uphill struggle for me to prove. 

Sea_Shell

KatieBW123 said:

Sea_Shell said:

KatieBW123 said:

Flugelhorn said:

@KatieBW123 I wonder if in fact he is manipulating you both, knowing it will wind you up too. 

maybe nothing has changed and he is trustee for your DDs share and she will get when she is older, meanwhile he is enjoying the power 

This is highly likely. The only way he can affect me these days is to impact our daughter. A very effective tool as it turns out as it’s very distressing to see her so dejected. 

☹️ What a horrible thing to do to a child.

All you can hope is that it's all bluster, and the will does actually leave her something after all.    But even then, the estate could be mis-administered.   Is he likely to (still?) be the executor?  Was he, on the original will?

He was not an executor originally but that could’ve changed. I have messages from him from late 2022 where he is hysterically stating “my mothers about to die!!!!” and he frequently posted inappropriate images of her online at her most vulnerable. I found it all pretty shocking. But then these apparent changes to the will happened last year and someone definitely had power of attorney because a country house she owned was sold, while she was bed bound after a stroke. Our daughter was aghast her grandmother didn’t know about the sale and her father stopped taking her to visit her in case she told her! If it all sounds mental that’s because it is 🤪 

There is a risk here that if he were PoA then the estate funds could already have been misappropriated...or spent legitimately.

Where was she living after her house was sold?   Was a  care home being paid for?

ETA if her estate held multiple properties then IHT is likely due.  Maybe the tax man would be interested if anything fishy has gone on? 😉

Marcon

KatieBW123 said:

Marcon said:

KatieBW123 said:

Keep_pedalling said:

KatieBW123 said:

elsien said:

You have no rights to see the will until after probate. And with a complex estate, probate is likely to take longer than the six months it has been so far. And even if you knew who the solicitors were, they would not share the information with you. 

He has made changes to the will so that he is the beneficiary, rather than his third daughter. All this done after his mother had become very ill, couldn’t speak. I guess rich people can do whatever they like

You don’t actually know that as you have not even seen the will yet.

I know what the will said up until 2022 and what he’s telling her now. 

Do you? Did you actually have sight of it?

Actually no. But I was there when she called him to tell him about these changes, which he regarded as him being disinherited. I have a distinct memory of him rocking in a chair, crying and saying “I want my inheritance”. Things remained *fairly* cordial between us until I had to instruct family lawyers and it was frequently discussed (by him) that his share was to be divided between his three children. 

I think given all the posturing, manipulation and general nonsense going on, it's going to be impossible to sort what actually 'was'. People are great at saying one thing and doing (or generally not doing) something else entirely with their will, if only for a quiet life. This lady was his mother, after all...

Until probate has been granted and the will is in the public domain, my suspicion is that the same comment applies to the present situation. You can check on https://www.gov.uk/search-will-probate and download a copy of the will for £1.50 once probate has been obtained.

There is no suggestion in your posts that the grandmother was (financially) supportive, so if your daughter isn't included, then I don't think there will be anything you can do. 

You have my sympathy, although I'm afraid that isn't worth anything in the context of the games being played here.

KatieBW123

Marcon said:

KatieBW123 said:

Marcon said:

KatieBW123 said:

Keep_pedalling said:

KatieBW123 said:

elsien said:

You have no rights to see the will until after probate. And with a complex estate, probate is likely to take longer than the six months it has been so far. And even if you knew who the solicitors were, they would not share the information with you. 

He has made changes to the will so that he is the beneficiary, rather than his third daughter. All this done after his mother had become very ill, couldn’t speak. I guess rich people can do whatever they like

You don’t actually know that as you have not even seen the will yet.

I know what the will said up until 2022 and what he’s telling her now. 

Do you? Did you actually have sight of it?

Actually no. But I was there when she called him to tell him about these changes, which he regarded as him being disinherited. I have a distinct memory of him rocking in a chair, crying and saying “I want my inheritance”. Things remained *fairly* cordial between us until I had to instruct family lawyers and it was frequently discussed (by him) that his share was to be divided between his three children. 

I think given all the posturing, manipulation and general nonsense going on, it's going to be impossible to sort what actually 'was'. People are great at saying one thing and doing (or generally not doing) something else entirely with their will, if only for a quiet life. This lady was his mother, after all...

Until probate has been granted and the will is in the public domain, my suspicion is that the same comment applies to the present situation. You can check on https://www.gov.uk/search-will-probate and download a copy of the will for £1.50 once probate has been obtained.

There is no suggestion in your posts that the grandmother was (financially) supportive, so if your daughter isn't included, then I don't think there will be anything you can do. 

You have my sympathy, although I'm afraid that isn't worth anything in the context of the games being played here.

She certainly was his mother, many of these behaviours were learnt at her knee. He is very angry as he feels he ‘lost’ in our schedule one proceedings (in actual fact our daughters needs were prioritised over his). I sincerely believe he has pushed for these changes, with the support of his family, in order to recoup what he feels he has lost. It’s just awful and we are likely to end up back in court at some point. Exhausting. 

KatieBW123

Is there a timelag between probate being granted and the will being accessible? I now understand assets have been sold, exchanged etc within the last few weeks but a search provides zero results. 

Marcon

KatieBW123 said:

Is there a timelag between probate being granted and the will being accessible? I now understand assets have been sold, exchanged etc within the last few weeks but a search provides zero results. 

Once probate has been granted, it's usually about 14 days before a will is available for download.

There's nothing to stop executors acting before probate is granted and very many do (save for things like the sale of a property, where probate is needed before such a sale can be completed), albeit at their own risk. If your daughter has been left some sort of inheritance, the executors will still have to make good on it.

Beware fretting about what you 'understand', given how much this charmer seems to enjoy winding you up...