Daughter excluded from grandmothers will - please help!

Flugelhorn

Sea_Shell said:

Is your daughter aware of any of this?    

Has she always been 'promised' or told by anyone that one day, she'll inherit £££ from her "rich Nan"?

At 10, they probably wouldn't know enough to assume they'd get something, unless told.   But if they are pinning their hopes on being able to get that new bike...

Hopefully she is completely unaware, so won't be disappointed, about the "if only's".     

Sounds like Dad has told the daughter :

". My daughter now informs me via her father that she has been left nothing in her grandmothers will and that my exes share is to be split between him and his two adult children."

KatieBW123

Sea_Shell said:

Is your daughter aware of any of this?    

Has she always been 'promised' or told by anyone that one day, she'll inherit £££ from her "rich Nan"?

At 10, they probably wouldn't know enough to assume they'd get something, unless told.   But if they are pinning their hopes on being able to get that new bike...

Hopefully she is completely unaware, so won't be disappointed, about the "if only's".     



ETA - sorry, i've just re-read the OP and this bit stands out...

"My daughter now informs me via her father that she has been left nothing in her grandmothers will"

They've said that to a 10 yr old !!!!  ?

I really hope this hasn't been "bigged up" over the years.   That's a harsh life lesson for a 10 yr old to learn. 

I speculate re his intentions based on my vast experience of watching him negate his obligation to his daughter and diminishing his assets to try to avoid making a fair contribution. 

I quite agree it is inappropriate and unfair to discuss all this with her. But this is one of the many things he ‘over-shares’ in order to control her. She is able to read messages on his phone, hears his (loud) conversations, read legal documents he has spread over the dining table. I certainly would not choose to include her in any discourse between adults, but he does. 

KatieBW123

Keep_pedalling said:

KatieBW123 said:

elsien said:

You have no rights to see the will until after probate. And with a complex estate, probate is likely to take longer than the six months it has been so far. And even if you knew who the solicitors were, they would not share the information with you. 

He has made changes to the will so that he is the beneficiary, rather than his third daughter. All this done after his mother had become very ill, couldn’t speak. I guess rich people can do whatever they like

You don’t actually know that as you have not even seen the will yet.

I know what the will said up until 2022 and what he’s telling her now. 

KatieBW123

LightFlare said:

 Not a thing you can do about it

She won’t be any worse off than she is now and she can build her own future in her own way

You say you’ve had little contact over the last 3 years, but how much has he had with his daughter ?

He sees his daughter. He does not have unfettered time with her due to volatile behaviour and high threshold safeguarding concerns (cited by third parties). But he sees her. I just think it’s tough that he tells her she will inherit and then transpires she is the only grandchild to not. 

Flugelhorn

@KatieBW123 I wonder if in fact he is manipulating you both, knowing it will wind you up too. 

maybe nothing has changed and he is trustee for your DDs share and she will get when she is older, meanwhile he is enjoying the power 

ShinyStarlight1

This all this all sounds very tough and painful for you and your daughter. 

I don’t understand why a father would essentially say to his young daughter “You were in your grandmother’s Will but you aren’t anymore - I’ve got that bit now, and your siblings have some too, but not you”. 

I’m sorry you’ve experienced his controlling nature and understand completely why you are looking after your daughter’s interests. 

KatieBW123

Flugelhorn said:

@KatieBW123 I wonder if in fact he is manipulating you both, knowing it will wind you up too. 

maybe nothing has changed and he is trustee for your DDs share and she will get when she is older, meanwhile he is enjoying the power 

This is highly likely. The only way he can affect me these days is to impact our daughter. A very effective tool as it turns out as it’s very distressing to see her so dejected. 

Sea_Shell

KatieBW123 said:

Flugelhorn said:

@KatieBW123 I wonder if in fact he is manipulating you both, knowing it will wind you up too. 

maybe nothing has changed and he is trustee for your DDs share and she will get when she is older, meanwhile he is enjoying the power 

This is highly likely. The only way he can affect me these days is to impact our daughter. A very effective tool as it turns out as it’s very distressing to see her so dejected. 

☹️ What a horrible thing to do to a child.

All you can hope is that it's all bluster, and the will does actually leave her something after all.    But even then, the estate could be mis-administered.   Is he likely to (still?) be the executor?  Was he, on the original will?

Marcon

KatieBW123 said:

Keep_pedalling said:

KatieBW123 said:

elsien said:

You have no rights to see the will until after probate. And with a complex estate, probate is likely to take longer than the six months it has been so far. And even if you knew who the solicitors were, they would not share the information with you. 

He has made changes to the will so that he is the beneficiary, rather than his third daughter. All this done after his mother had become very ill, couldn’t speak. I guess rich people can do whatever they like

You don’t actually know that as you have not even seen the will yet.

I know what the will said up until 2022 and what he’s telling her now. 

Do you? Did you actually have sight of it?

KatieBW123

Sea_Shell said:

KatieBW123 said:

Flugelhorn said:

@KatieBW123 I wonder if in fact he is manipulating you both, knowing it will wind you up too. 

maybe nothing has changed and he is trustee for your DDs share and she will get when she is older, meanwhile he is enjoying the power 

This is highly likely. The only way he can affect me these days is to impact our daughter. A very effective tool as it turns out as it’s very distressing to see her so dejected. 

☹️ What a horrible thing to do to a child.

All you can hope is that it's all bluster, and the will does actually leave her something after all.    But even then, the estate could be mis-administered.   Is he likely to (still?) be the executor?  Was he, on the original will?

He was not an executor originally but that could’ve changed. I have messages from him from late 2022 where he is hysterically stating “my mothers about to die!!!!” and he frequently posted inappropriate images of her online at her most vulnerable. I found it all pretty shocking. But then these apparent changes to the will happened last year and someone definitely had power of attorney because a country house she owned was sold, while she was bed bound after a stroke. Our daughter was aghast her grandmother didn’t know about the sale and her father stopped taking her to visit her in case she told her! If it all sounds mental that’s because it is 🤪