Travelling the unknown path of dealing with Mums passing

tealady

Savvy_sewing can I also suggest that if people offer to help let them. Even if it's just doing the dishes, putting the bins out or some other chore that you may find too much at present or just putting the kettle on.
Dont rush things, you need time and space to grieve. We have just finalised mums estate 18 months after her passing.
You will have good and bad days, it's natural so dont ever beat yourself up about how you feel. Every grief us different (IMO) so dont let people tell you "how" you should be feeling.
I second writing EVERYTHING  down, head each page with (say) XYZ bank, gas, Council tax, solicitor. That way it's easier to keep track. As a family we found some organisations were easier to deal with than others.
One day you will smile again, I have a particular photo of mum which (to me) shows the person she was, and I treasure it. I smile when I look at it. Occasionally I find myself repeating things she said and it makes me feel close to her.

RAS

Agreed. I could be OK for days and then find myself sobbing over the ironing. No idea what set that off. Just be kind to yourself and others. 

TripleH

So sorry for your loss.

I provided some assistance when my father passed, but my mum had it all in hand.

Use the report once (or whatever its called) service on the gov.uk website but remember funeral directors are used to people being in a daze at this time.

Don't feel you need to get everything sorted at once, some can do that, others can't.

The bereavement teams (always ask for them) are very helpful.

If your mum had her own home, this looks to be a good place to start, clearing it can unearth documents and paperwork you might not have thought of. Don't feel you need to have everything sorted, but you can have a better idea of what you might want to keep and what you can get rid of.

Savvy_sewing

Time has flown by.
we are still waiting for Probate to come back. Time line suggests that it will be about 2nd week in April, at least that’s when I can chase it up.
 Have had so many conflicting answers from the powers that be about the house and how it will effect the future for us both. 

Lawyers and UC alike are contradicting themselves. 

More questions to ask rather than those answered.
we have really only just started to clear the house this past week. 

That is bringing in the emotional state more than anything, and reminding me of my own mortality. 

Currently DD is in private rentals and would dearly love to buy my share of the house out, but is just not in a position to get a mortgage any time soon.
 Can’t live in the house, too small and would cause great distress to Twin2. Who still lives with me.
financially I am struggling as Twin2 was laid off work, no notice, no proper wages etc and so can no longer afford to pay rent and running costs to the house hold pot. 

I haven’t worked since the end of the summer. Not on anything that will pay a wage. 

My Portugal dream will be a long way off. I doubt that I will see any money any time soon.
even if I do, then I will loose it one way or another.

while we wait for probate I keep on trying to find out.