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Getting divorced and struggling to leave my mortgaged property due to husband

My husband and I split up in January and we've been discussing for months what to do with the house. Neither of us can take it on so we are going to sell, however; he is stubborn and keeps holding off on letting me instruct an estate agent and I am at my wits end with it all. I am not getting anything from the sale of the house (I'll explain why below).

The house is valued at £210k
Current mortgage balance £174k
4 years left on the mortgage term which means we'll have an £8k early exit fee + solicitors and estate agent fees.

Where do I stand on just walking away from my home? I know that if the mortgage isn't paid I'll have a CCJ for 6 years and I really don't want that but I need to get on with my life. I won't be able to afford to pay my half of the mortgage as well as pay rent on another property and I don't have savings other than £1,200 in an ISA. My credit card debt is £4.5k. My husband has £8k debt.

I am 36 and my salary is £32.5k (no children)

I am not taking any money from the sale of the house as my husband put the initial deposit down and he also paid some debt off for me with inheritance. We don't have this in writing and lots of people are telling me to take half of whatever is left but I'm not interested, I gave him my word and I am sticking to it.

He is mentally and physically unwell due to alcoholism and heavy cannabis use (in the evenings) but he is high-functioning so still manages to carry out his job (although he is calling in sick more and more often). He is getting into more and more debt to fund is habits (he is spending around £350 a week on alcohol, weed and tobacco).

I know it's an illness and I feel awful for him but after almost 10 years he is just simply unwilling to accept any help. I have done everything in my power to help him but I can't do it anymore.

Comments

  • Brie
    Brie Posts: 13,431 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    If the mortgage is in both your names then I would suggest you talk to your bank.  Tell them that you want out and that husband isn't cooperating.  Ask them what they would suggest. 

    Frankly if you stop paying then it will take the bank some time to get to repossession stage - possibly a few years.  But you could ask if they have something like a requested repossession (I forget the exact term).  This would mean that the bank would force the sale of the house as the majority of the house is basically owned by the them.  Going down this route might enable you to get some equity from the sale.  It will depend on the bank and what their rules are - not all banks will go for this.  And I don't know what they will do if you are requesting it and your OH refuses to engage.  
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  • fatbelly
    fatbelly Posts: 22,111 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Cashback Cashier
    You won't get a ccj but eventually this would arrive at the county court for a possession order and be sold at auction.

    The problem with this is twofold. One, as Brie says, is that this could take ages to resolve.

    The other point is that as things stand there is possibly 25k equity coming out of this, and all going to your ex. That would probably all disappear by going down the possession route. You might even end up with a joint mortgage shortfall debt. 

    I think you have to explain to your ex why you will be stopping making payment to the mortgage and what will happen to his 25k unless he agrees to the sale


  • Annisele
    Annisele Posts: 4,835 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    If he won't sell voluntarily, then you may ultimately have to ask a court to order a sale. If you have a solicitor advising you on your divorce, then they should be able to help you with that.
    It's admirable that you want to stick to your word about letting him keep the equity, but at this rate there won't be any equity for him to keep. Do you think he would be receptive to an argument that went "I want out, and if I'm off this mortgage by [date] I'll happily let you keep all the equity, but if you don't take steps to make that happen I'll pursue my share"?
    (As an aside, in some divorce cases it can be short sighted to look at the house in isolation. Depending on the value of the couple's assets - including pensions, which can sometimes be worth much more than the equity in the house - trying to just deal with the house can make a mess.)
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