How best to deal with unreasonable and selfish neighbours...

EssexHebridean

swingaloo said:

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Look at the from the other side, you say they are aloof. Perhaps that is because the builders have told them that the next door neighbour is a bad tempered complainer who has called them selfish idiots. 
Perhaps they are but it would have been far more diplomatic to approach them properly at the beginning rather than have raised voices with the builders.
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Concern over the risk of causing irredeemable damage to the neighbourly relationship is the specific reason why the OP explains away their lack of action sooner.... They also make clear that they HAVE tried to speak to the new neighbours - but have been rebuffed.

As for 

swingaloo said:

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Is there perhaps a touch of jealousy here?

what on earth?! That really seems to be a quite bizarre leap! 

Tabasco_Green

Swingaloo, far point, but please also consider the following;

following…

I’ll admit that it may appear to be an over reaction, but in the interests of avoiding an even longer initial post I tried to be brief with the details.

However, I think it important to provide that back-ground now and to illustrate why, as trivial as the fence post may appear, it really was the straw that broke the camels back…

1/ Plans were submitted and as noted I made no complaints, but the district council had them reduce the ridge height and add a condition that a rear facing window was not to be turned into a juliet balcony - this would have looked directly into my garden.

2/ When building worked commenced, new footings for the extension were dug and a mini digger, with hydraulic breaker, pounded out the trench as the ground here is quite hard, but no allowance was made for the fact that my sewer line runs parallel to this and well within 3 metres of the boundary; the actual distance on my side  is just 90 cm and the footings were right up to the boundary on their side…

During this phase and given the close proximity, I thought my house was literally going to be shaken off it’s foundations! But again I did not complain because development of an older property is, in reality, almost inevitable and as I have stated I was ignorant of the party wall act.

3/ Scaffolding was erected on a Sunday and without an access agreement or even a polite request from the owners…

Without the horizontal scaffold poles over-sailing my property the builders wouldn’t have got a single scaffold plank in place rendering the scaffolding totally useless.

I explained to the scaffolder my concerns and said that although I appreciated he had a job to do, could he do anything about the length of the poles once the boards we installed. I let him get on with it  and even made him a cup of tea! 

Not unsurprisingly communication works and when he finished he trimmed off the ends of the horizontal poles as far he practically could - they still oversailed the boundary, but it was an acceptable compromise.

3/ Shortly thereafter and still with no communications I took the opportunity to try and talk to the new neighbours when they visited the site, but they weren’t interested…

4/ It was at this point that I approached a solicitor and boundary surveyor to be told that the work was too far along to do anything much about it without spending a fortune and really falling out, so rightly or wrongly, I let them proceed.

5/ From this point forward i had to keep asking, calmly and politely, if the builders wouldn’t mind not leaning there stack of blocks, heap of hardcore, cement mixer et all against my flimsy fence…

I could have gone round there everyday to justifiable complain about something, but I didn’t, biting my tongue until even an idiot would have be forced to say something - this is the main reason I said nothing about the smashed waste pipe at the time because I thought I was being unreasonable…

6/ The ‘builders’ rerouted their sewer and one afternoon knocked on my door and asked if i wouldn’t mind waiting 5 minutes and flushing my toilet - twice, because they couldn’t work out ‘where the drains went’. 

I obliged, but heard no more and when I drove by about an hour later 4 of them were stood around the manhole in the road looked puzzled. I’m no builder, but at the time I explained my sewer runs into the mains drain on a completely different street so there wasn’t much point in the ‘test’, but I did it anyway.

This was also after they installed an inspection chamber adjacent to another of my fence posts which has been on the p*ss ever since and of course no explanation or apology has ever been forthcoming as to why…

So in conclusion I think I’ve put up with quite a lot - less than many I’m sure, but also possibly than some.

Perhaps I did overreact over the latest issue, it’s pretty insignificant, but where do you draw the line when you have to put up with the anticipated noise and disruption plus a load of other nause?

And in regards to being jealous absolutely not and tbh a bit insulting. 

As far as I’m concerned they could have built a replica of the Shard for all I care, but they could have shown a bit more humility by at least talking to me and, shock horror, possibly had some consideration for others!

Tabasco_Green

And finally, when I spoke to the boundary surveyor I think he summed it up well by saying;

“Unfortunately you’ve ended up with some rather unpleasant neighbours, however should you have any structural problems with your property in the future, that may be as a result of their alterations, then even without a party wall agreement in place they could be held liable and the onus will be on them to prove otherwise”

Obviously I don’t want this to ever be the case, but I suppose it provides some comfort as as doing what they did without a party wall agreement in place, which is probably the only take away from this fiasco, seems foolhardy. 

Section62

AvonAndy said:

...I have also yet to formally meet the owners; they have made no attempt to speak to me and so I have tired, on several occasions, to approach them only to be ignored and they remain very much aloof.

Although it is a nice thing to do, there's no obligation on anyone to formally introduce themselves to a neighbour, nor have any ongoing relationship with them.

Given the circumstances I think if the neighbour was here asking for advice they might be told that the best thing to do was to avoid having conversations with you... not ignoring to be rude, but if spoken to then to simply nod in response with a neutral expression, or just a neutral "Hi".

If having a conversation is liable to trigger an argument then one of the best things to do is to avoid having a conversation.

AvonAndy said:

This may appear petty, but for me this has been the last straw, and I want to do something to make these selfish idiots realise that its not all about them and they can’t simply do what they want without following the appropriate steps or at the least showing some common decency!

However, at the same time I don’t want to end up with a six-figure legal bill and feature in yet another ‘neighbours fall out and face huge legal bill’ tabloid headline…

The courts don't like people doing things solely to make a point.... if there isn't an actionable issue here then avoid 'going legal' - once you start it can be difficult to stop (especially if losing face is important to either party).  And that's why these six-figure legal bill cases end up happening.

AvonAndy said:

Regrettably in a fit of pique I also smashed the artificial slates that were dropped in my garden and threw the pieces over the fence, although the site was such a mess I doubt it was noticed…

...

Having got no where talking normally I shouted at the bloke so loudly that I was probably heard in the next county so there should have been no doubt in his mind as to what was to be done!

Shouting at someone may be childish and could possibly be used against me as everyone’s feeling are so precious these days, but I’m not loosing any sleep over it…

Based on the above my suggestion would be to avoid 'going legal' at all costs.  If they have CCTV, or independent witnesses that saw either (or both) of the above then any legal action you take could be fatally undermined.  The neighbour's solicitor could paint this as a pattern of repeated/escalating action which has developed further into trying to use the courts to harass/bully your neighbour(s).

I'd suggest leaving them alone, or else cautiously try the tea and cake approach to reset the relationship.

ThisIsWeird

AvonAndy said:

3/ ...I took the opportunity to try and talk to the new neighbours when they visited the site, but they weren’t interested…

That's the standout line for me, and I think it speaks volumes on the calibre of your new neighbours. That is going to be such a disappointment after the previous lovely couple.
But, with little tangible issue now remaining, I'm not sure there's anything worth taking 'action' about.
On balance, I'd let it be. At least you know what they are like.

Tabasco_Green

After taking into careful consideration everyone’s comments, which are very much appreciated, I’m not going to take anything further.

It was wrong of me to lose my temper, I accept that, but everyone has their limits, although the first one who starts shouting has clearly lost the argument.

Anyway, life is short and complicated enough as it is so these discussions have helped to draw a line under the situation.

Thanks again to all who took the time to post an answer.

subjecttocontract

Wait for them to move in and then get your own back ! Organise an extremely loud garden party until 4 in the morning ......but don't invite them. Make sure the music is particularly loud. When they comment on it pretend you have 4 or 5 all night parties every year......that should impress them !

Tabasco_Green

Ha, Ha! Good idea and of course it’s also Guy Fawkes night in a week or two …
However, clearly being such an unreasonable hot head and bully then I don’t have enough friends, but thanks for injecting a bit of levity into the discussion. 

scrummy-mummy

Your neighbours and their workmen sound like mine including criminal damage. We lost a few fence panels months ago when they blew down in the storms. It piques our neighbour greatly that we will be replacing according to our schedule of works and not theirs. I am quite sure they think we're being very unreasonable but given they made it clear from the start they weren't interested in a cordial relationship, we have extended the same courtesy. Legal action only makes solicitors rich in my opinion. Best of luck for the future.