Paying off £37065 unsecured debt by July 2027 while continuing to travel this amazing world

Nintud

BudgetingBelinda said:

I have the same issue with my ex aubergine. I know it’s a common theme. Always been useless. He’s now gone self employed and only taking ‘essentials’ out of his business of which CM is not one it seems! He’s been late for the last 3 months and sporadically goes through these phases. I’ve thankfully gotten to the point of budgeting without his CM and with an EF/surplus so that I’m not reliant on it. That way it feels like it’s less controlling. Still annoying though and I’m sure there’s an huge element of control that plays into it. 

This month I’m going to ask once and then contact CMS if it’s over a week late. Haven’t gone through them before as he just coasts on the edge of the boundary of paying and does pay but is a 💯 🍆 about it. My patience has worn thin as any communication with him is draining and I’d rather not have extra. 

I had to call him as I have no milk and DDs due. Cue a rant about him ‘having’ to pay over £7.5k in solicitor’s fees (I couldn’t afford a solicitor so represented myself at the financial hearing) and CM having miscalculated so he is appealing (again).

Difficult to pity a man that brought this on himself.

He dared to say that if we’d stayed together we’d be quite comfortably off now 😡

Nintud

backinbusiness said:

Grr - in the end it's their children that they are disadvantaging really - makes me mad! BiB x 

He’s paid now. Needed to rant and drag up history, but he has paid.  Son can now drink tea and go to the cinema with his friend tonight.

I’m not usually this broke, but an unexpected school trip fee took the last bit of overdraft I had left. 

I need to plan for delayed CM and then I wouldn’t be affected by this element of control he has.

The best form of defence I have is to get out of debt.

Nintud

BudgetingBelinda said:

I have the same issue with my ex aubergine. I know it’s a common theme. Always been useless. He’s now gone self employed and only taking ‘essentials’ out of his business of which CM is not one it seems! He’s been late for the last 3 months and sporadically goes through these phases. I’ve thankfully gotten to the point of budgeting without his CM and with an EF/surplus so that I’m not reliant on it. That way it feels like it’s less controlling. Still annoying though and I’m sure there’s an huge element of control that plays into it. 

This month I’m going to ask once and then contact CMS if it’s over a week late. Haven’t gone through them before as he just coasts on the edge of the boundary of paying and does pay but is a 💯 🍆 about it. My patience has worn thin as any communication with him is draining and I’d rather not have extra. 

The phone call this morning took the last bit of energy I had left for the week.

We shouldn’t have to ask. The calculation has been done. This monthly shenanigans is their last bit of control, time they moved on.

MFWannabe

Nintud said:

backinbusiness said:

Grr - in the end it's their children that they are disadvantaging really - makes me mad! BiB x 

He’s paid now. Needed to rant and drag up history, but he has paid.  Son can now drink tea and go to the cinema with his friend tonight.

I’m not usually this broke, but an unexpected school trip fee took the last bit of overdraft I had left. 

I need to plan for delayed CM and then I wouldn’t be affected by this element of control he has.

The best form of defence I have is to get out of debt.

Absolutely the best form of defence 
You’ll get there x 

Nintud

Another £4 from Vinted off the Very debt.

ive found a tracker to colour in so I’m going to get my colouring pencils out and make each icon worth £20. 

 I’ve also updated my signature.

Little Dopamine hits 😁

amber03

I put a small rug on my local fb marketplace page yesterday for £5, was in a bedroom that was hardly used. The only person I had replying was somebody asking if it was new or used and then wasn’t happy that it was a used rug. What do they expect for £5.x

RelievedSheff

Here's hoping November is more kindly on the finances for you! 

I know it's hard to say no to your kids but is the cinema the best use of tight funds and a tight budget?

Sorry I know it isn't what you want to hear but something has to change if you want to escape the spiral! 

Nintud

RelievedSheff said:

Here's hoping November is more kindly on the finances for you! 

I know it's hard to say no to your kids but is the cinema the best use of tight funds and a tight budget?

Sorry I know it isn't what you want to hear but something has to change if you want to escape the spiral! 

I can’t remember the last time he did anything outside of his bedroom (excluding 10 minute dog dashes). The cinema money has come out of the “spending on kids” budget pot, so accounted for in planned spending. (There’s money in that virtual pot now).  It’s come from CM, which is meant for kid costs.

I cant punish him for my money mismanagement. No sweet treats because the rules for his new braces are strict (and the responsibility he is taking with this is impressing me), so the cinema ticket is the only ‘treat’ he will get from the money meant for him. I assign £80 per month for kid costs, which covers pocket money (earnt by walking the dogs, carting the rubbish down to the bin cupboards, and carrying shopping up three flights of stairs!). Admittedly, the CM and CB has stopped for him from this month, and it’s being spread more thinly, but I don’t feel one cinema trip in a blue moon should be cancelled when the (on paper) budget for it is in place for the Oct-Nov salary month (I write my budget based on my mid-month salary).

The £80 kiddo cash has to be reduced next month (Nov-Dec) whether I like it or not, as I have to recalculate based on new figures.

14 days left until payday and £153.62 left in the budget. One small DD left to pay (£3), petrol to buy, top up food shop (milk, bread, dog food and digestive biscuits!). Must claim my mileage expenses. Anything left on payday will go towards paying back the CC usage this month 🤦‍♀️so I can then write my snowball debt busting budget for the Nov-Dec month. No leaseholder fee to pay (that £600 has been tough this month), but I need to make a start on Christmas presents (very much slimmed down budget for those). A lot of the Christmas spending will come from my back pay, that’s due in my December salary.

Nintud

It’s a Vinted focused day today. Four items uploaded so far and one to post.

ive decided to try and upload 24 items per day for the remainder of the year. Does Vinted have a daily limit for number of uploads?

I have sooooo much ‘stuff’. This will get a serious shift in the decluttering if things sell, and help with paying off the Very bill too.  I really want that gone so I can shift focus to the EF and Santander OD.

i moved from a 5 bed detached to a 3 bed apartment almost 4 years ago, and clearly did not downsize my stuff anywhere near enough.  I’ve since added to it (I’m an emotional shopper) and my home looks like an episode of Hoarders. My old house looked quite minimalist, but it was only because I had the space to spread the clutter out.

Quick dash to the shop. We’re out of milk (again) and bread, and the boys have put in a request for wine gums and chocolate. It’ll be a corner shop trip so I can post the parcel and avoid the temptation of the SM. Costs a little more for what I need, but saves on the extras that fall into my basket if I shop anywhere bigger.

MFWannabe

I don’t think there’s a limit to how much you can put up for sale 
Good luck with decluttering; it’s what we’ve been doing and it makes such a difference not only to space but also how you feel