which house?

IHateDida

pink_muppet wrote: »

the builder has said he will reduce the house to 310k but thats it, my friend has said that they still won't drop to 235k despite that

I think we will just sell up and rent!!!!

So even though they would be now getting an extra £10k off their house price, they're not willing to pass that on to you???? Sounds like they want their cake and eat it, regardless of what they get off this new house! They could definitely get more off their new house if they tried - they are obviously showing that they are too keen for the builder who obviously won't budge if they think they will get a sale!

I would look around for something else, or like you say rent for a while - its already complicated enough selling a house without having a friendship being brought into it.

PasturesNew

Yes. Sell up and rent.
You might find when you're renting that you're no longer "good enough" for these 'friends'.

As has been said - it's best NOT to get involved with buying from friends - especially where things aren't starting out on common ground. I bet if you bought the house at any price you'd find a shed load of problems they'd hidden and you'd feel you were backed into a corner to buy it - and aggrieved at the cost to fix the problems.

Bad karma all around.

Sell. Rent. Relax. Buy when you find a house that you fall in love with and that meets all your needs.

Don't buy their house. Emotional blackmail is their opening gambit, the game is downhill from there.

Strapped

Don't buy your friends' house. For one thing, if you remain friends (a big "IF" the way things are going) then would it ever really feel like yours, when they're popping round and you feel uncomfortable that you have ripped out the garish carpet that they really loved, or the "tasteful" water feature on the front lawn, etc, etc...

I find that we have to be careful what we say about this house, as the previous owner but one, who lived here for 27 years and did much of the development work on it (badly in some cases...) only moved down the road, and we have become friendly. As you can imagine, she was quite interested in what the previous owners did to the place and what we're planning to do. In some ways it's nice, with such an old place you do feel a bit like the custodian "for a while" but not everyone wants to feel like that about their home

Seakay

I agree with Strapped - do not buy from a friend. Even if you come to an amicable arrangement over the price (which is doubtful) you will be looking at cause for resentment every time you paint a wall, little own if you make structural alterations or find that previous work has been done shoddily

The cottage you mentioned sounds lovely, but you don't sound as though you want it. That being the case, why make an offer? The present owners may have stopped having viewers because they have accepted your offer, and if you are going to back out you will mess up their whole chain, which doesn't seem very fair.

pink_muppet

No I definitely want the cottage, we have an offer accepted on that now and I wouldn't let the vendors down (unless something showed up on the survey), it's my husband although he loves the cottage, he now has major concerns with it being near a river although our investigations have shown it has never flooded and flood defences are in place, besides, houses have flooded this summer a few streets away from where we currently live and we are nowhere near a river

I agree that I need to let my friend's house go, she desperately wanted me to have it as for a start she thought she would get her asking price but also so she could still come round to 'her house' whenever she wanted, I do realise that it would be awkward to do any alterations and it does need work, she does decorating but never finishes anything properly, so she'll just paint or wallpaper walls but the paintwork gets left etc etc so it looks tired

I just need the courage to now tell her we have an offer accepted on another house, I don't want to lose her frendship

oldMcDonald

Hmm, if you lose her friendship as she isn't happy with you because you wont stretch yourself to a point you cannot afford or because you wont sell your car so that she gets top whack for her house (bearing in mind that no one other than you has been prepared to pay that amount), then she may not be the friend you think she is.

The cottage sounds lovely, if you really want it then go for it - you don't have to buy your friends house just because she wants you to - and you certainly should not have to be worried about telling a friend that you are unable to afford their home. A friend would not want to see you struggle and be worried or unhappy and should understand.

Good luck

Melissa177

Great post from Old McDonald

pink_muppet

Ok, so now I am really pee'd off, plucked up the courage to text my friend this morning to tell her we had found a house and made an offer that has been accepted,

she has just replied saying 'well done, I'm a happy girl, I'm in an all win place, if we don't get this house cheap we're stayin and havin a big 2 storey build yipee!'

I can't believe she hasn't even asked anything about the house what we're buying, she knows we were considering moving away so I would have thought she would have at least shown some interest in what it was like and where it is?

Or am I just expecting too much?

I am pleased if she decides to stay put tho, I've been telling her for months that she's mad wanting to move and increase her mortgage by £70k when she wasn't gaining anything by it expect a bigger kitchen and a double garage

oldMcDonald

pink_muppet wrote: »

.......<snip>

she has just replied saying 'well done, I'm a happy girl, I'm in an all win place, if we don't get this house cheap we're stayin and havin a big 2 storey build yipee!'

<snip>

I can't believe she hasn't even asked anything about the house what we're buying, she knows we were considering moving away so I would have thought she would have at least shown some interest in what it was like and where it is?

<snip>

I am pleased if she decides to stay put tho, I've been telling her for months that she's mad wanting to move and increase her mortgage by £70k when she wasn't gaining anything by it expect a bigger kitchen and a double garage

.....and that possibly shows how differently the two of you view the friendship.

Well done on telling her, IMHO I believe that you have made the correct decision by pulling out of buying her house, by stretching yourself it could have led to resentment and anger and they are never positive influences on your life.

Your friend may have been trying to save face by boasting that she is in a win, win situation, rather than her being totally disinterested in where you are going and what you are doing. It is sad that she showed no interest in your choice or the reasons behind it, but some people are sadly like that and can see little going on in the world beyond their own lives.

Good luck with everything, OP. The cottage sound so lovely and I hope that the buying / moving goes smoothly for you.

fc123

pink_muppet wrote: »

Ok, so now I am really pee'd off, plucked up the courage to text my friend this morning to tell her we had found a house and made an offer that has been accepted,

she has just replied saying 'well done, I'm a happy girl, I'm in an all win place, if we don't get this house cheap we're stayin and havin a big 2 storey build yipee!'

I can't believe she hasn't even asked anything about the house what we're buying, she knows we were considering moving away so I would have thought she would have at least shown some interest in what it was like and where it is?

Or am I just expecting too much?

I am pleased if she decides to stay put tho, I've been telling her for months that she's mad wanting to move and increase her mortgage by £70k when she wasn't gaining anything by it expect a bigger kitchen and a double garage

Hi I hope the cottage move works out well!! It's in a different area yes????

Hopefully, you will make lots of new mates when you move...proper ones...I have been there....those I called friends then things change...and you see them in a different light.
Ask yourself why she didn't ask anything about your move????....For some the world centres around THEIR needs and nothing else...you are just an extra in the play entitled "my life". Don't feel bad...plug on, sort out your move and concentrate on what are the correct actions to follow for your families wellbeing!