Rogue sibling tries to prove our mother has dementia

Flugelhorn

ask him what blood and urine tests he would be ordering, what the normal range of values for all the indicators would be and what his plan would be for any abnormal test results. 

TBagpuss

The_Walker said:

My sibling does not have finanical dependance. Though unemployed currently, 30K has come through from my fathers probate and another 70K soon from the sale of a property. There is no shortage of money.

My sibling has been asked repeatedly to make a contribution while staying in the family home. My late father also requested this. But maybe legally it's for the best my sibling refused? If rent had been paid there could have been tenants rights making things more complex?

YEs, if they make contributions , **especially** now that you mum is not longer livng in the property, they may be able t o assert that a tenancy has been created and it's also possible that they might use itto asserert that they have acquired a beneficial interest in the proerty. 

I think ou need o get propoer,professional advice, but I suspect that youare going to need to look at a mechanism to evict them before you start the sales process, and as others have suggeted, a general power of attormerey to allow you to start those things may be sensible pending the registered one befing fianlised.

In terms of the capcty issues, I think you and your mum need to make sure that the solicitro preparing the POA (and any will, if relevant, is made aware that your mum's capacity at the time of making any will /granting POA is likely to be challenged so they can ensuretha t they can fully document that they are satified she has capacity, and can advise her as to whether getting a formal report from a doctor might be a wise precaution.

Sadly is bseems likely that this sibling will also challenge th will when te time comes if theydisagree with it, and of course at that point your mum isn't going to be able to speak for herself. 

theoretica

If the sibling is seeking to prevent her mother selling her property, that might come under financial abuse.  I wonder if Age Concern would have any useful advice?

The_Walker

This has now taken a darker turn unfortunately.

A health representative did show up and briefly interview my mother, despite my mother clearly stating she didn't want to be tested. One thing I have learnt during all this is that elderly people in care homes are ignored and bossed around as if they are non-persons. But I digress....

So the interview was brief because my mother kept stating she didn't need to be tested. The outcome was they've concluded she doesn't have any issues. She didn't show signs of memory loss or dementia etc at all. So that's a positive I suppose. Although my brother has since mocked her saying he "looks after her and makes appointments for her". She was infuriated by this, and I don't blame her.

But today apparently my sibling told her during a phone call that he has power of attorney over her, and she can't sell the house (which she now wants to do asap). He told her he knows the law, and she can't do anything without his say so.

I think this is an outrageous claim to make, to manipulate my mother into following his orders. To be clear, he does not and never has had power of attorney over her. She has nominated myself this year to take that role and the process is under way. She owns the house in question outright. No rent or contribution has ever been paid to her by my brother.

I'm beginning to wonder where this will end? How far will he go? Surely to claim you have power of attorney over an elderly woman when you don't is breaking the law??

elsien

Any situation requiring an LPA will also require them donor to show the documentation to prove they have a power of attorney. If he can’t prove it, then the statement is meaningless  and nothing to worry about 

You can check with the OPG if one is in place or not if you’re wondering whether some sort of fraud is going on here.

Flugelhorn

elsien said:

Any situation requiring an LPA will also require them donor to show the documentation to prove they have a power of attorney. If he can’t prove it, then the statement is meaningless  and nothing to worry about 

You can check with the OPG if one is in place or not if you’re wondering whether some sort of fraud is going on here.

agree she herself would have had to sign the forms for this. need to speak with OPG if you are concerned that there has been a fraudulent application. 

RAS

So why don't you get the general power of attorney sorted out now and ask the solicitor to start removing the son?

And why have you and mum not spoken to the home and possibly the local safeguarding team about this son's financial abuse? 

Please do start by speaking to Age Concern and mention financial abuse. They may still have advisors who can give you the general support required so you can move forward. 

Hopefully mum's got all the required financial records etc out of the house?

Mands

The_Walker said:

This has now taken a darker turn unfortunately.

A health representative did show up and briefly interview my mother, despite my mother clearly stating she didn't want to be tested. One thing I have learnt during all this is that elderly people in care homes are ignored and bossed around as if they are non-persons. But I digress....

So the interview was brief because my mother kept stating she didn't need to be tested. The outcome was they've concluded she doesn't have any issues. She didn't show signs of memory loss or dementia etc at all. So that's a positive I suppose. Although my brother has since mocked her saying he "looks after her and makes appointments for her". She was infuriated by this, and I don't blame her.

But today apparently my sibling told her during a phone call that he has power of attorney over her, and she can't sell the house (which she now wants to do asap). He told her he knows the law, and she can't do anything without his say so.

I think this is an outrageous claim to make, to manipulate my mother into following his orders. To be clear, he does not and never has had power of attorney over her. She has nominated myself this year to take that role and the process is under way. She owns the house in question outright. No rent or contribution has ever been paid to her by my brother.

I'm beginning to wonder where this will end? How far will he go? Surely to claim you have power of attorney over an elderly woman when you don't is breaking the law??

Who was this health care professional? Someone from your mum's Drs practice, a neurologist, a friend of his who watches Holby City? What dementia diagnosis techniques did they use? What are their qualifications?