I save, my husband spends!

AskAsk

I fnd it is impossible to change someone's spending habits and attitude to money, whether they spend too much or too little.  I can't even change my own spending habit when I want to, so that shows how hard it is to change at all.

It is part of your character.  The only way he will spend less is if he sees that you guys are getting into financial difficulty and even then, some people will just live in denial and continue spending until the law stops them, or they get very stressed about it and become ill over having no money and wanting to spend.

ouraggie

Do you think either of you might be entitled to receive Attendance Allowance (a non-means tested benefit)? Alternatively, are you perhaps eligible for Pension Credit? (Worth checking, even if you think you aren’t)

Pollycat

ouraggie said:

Do you think either of you might be entitled to receive Attendance Allowance (a non-means tested benefit)? Alternatively, are you perhaps eligible for Pension Credit? (Worth checking, even if you think you aren’t)

As the OP's husband is only 61, they are not eligible for PC, even if the OP is of state pension age.

Emmia

OP the truth is, you won't be able to change the situation, all you can really do is change how you react to it. 

Ultimately, this probably boils down to whether  this is a relationship ending issue for you?

Newly_retired

Re-reading, I see the house needs money spending on it. If you were to organise this, it would deplete the amount of spending money available to him. Could he cope with a reduced amount? If not, could he get a p/t job to cover his hobby spending money?

otb666

We have a large whiteboard and put all our spends on it.  Its a bit crude but works for us as we retired over 2 years ago and wanted to keep an eye on spends initially but carried on with board so we can both be jointly responsible

applepad

Iotb666 said:

We have a large whiteboard and put all our spends on it.  Its a bit crude but works for us as we retired over 2 years ago and wanted to keep an eye on spends initially but carried on with board so we can both be jointly responsible

I like this idea, think that he is a physical learner and it will be a reminder to him, although might be a bit of a fight toget him to right on it to begin with

otb666

we have 3 columns Food /hubby and credit card.  We allow 1100 for combine 3.  the bills are not on it thats 700 seperate.  He still spends 300 on his own per month but have accepted that now and as I say works for us.  We have a yearly budget for car mot service insurances and xmas birthdays and holiday 3000

JennyDavis

Same in our family. We fight almost every day because of that. Now he wants to buy wegovy online in order to lose extra weight. In general it would make a lot of sense, but not in his case. He eats a lot and doesn't keep any diets, so i am sure, no matter how much meds he will eat, extra pounds will come back in no time.