Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

Baileys_Babe

My DD is a young leader with Squirrels and loves it.

Ask your scout group if they have any old uniforms to pass on, our group has boxes for each section for people to help themselves to.

Some of DD Squirrels have the hats and wear them throughout the session all year round and the leaders find it makes it harder to identify them.

Our group is £12 per month for Squirrels, Beavers, Cubs & Scouts plus uniform which I think is great value.

The recent group camp, which was for all sections including squirrels was £10, no funfair but did include a day trip again great value.

All Scout groups I've been involved with over the last 40+ years have been very supportive of families, if you just reach out they often have some kit they can lend out.

My tip is do not send them in their best clothes Scouting gives them the opportunity to do activities that can leave them wet, grubby or smelly - usually of smoke. Let them go and enjoy themselves without worrying about their clothes.

Bluegreen143

Ok, LOADS to report.

1. Got the car back. Yay! We decided to wait on a couple of the minor, non-urgent repairs, but got all the big stuff done. Total cost £3,215. 

The mechanic asked us to put as little as possible on the credit card because of the fees he incurs processing it, so we got MIL to transfer the cash for the holiday she’s paying for and we’ll pay the hotel with our credit card (so we’ll have the same amount of debt overall in the end).

I did mess up YNAB quite a bit trying out different combinations of categories to raid before MIL sent us that money so now I need to fix it today! 

2. We’ve decided to go back to grocery shopping twice a week, via online delivery so we can keep an eye on the costs better. We’re finding it difficult to manage the meal plan effectively over a week and keep wasting things which go off before we eat them, and/or running out of things by the end of the week. We ended up getting a takeaway one day this week as we ended up with nothing much to eat after some meat went out of date 🙄. 

The plan is we will therefore aim for £55-65 shops twice a week and we have the first of these smaller shops coming tonight. Luckily we have advance made lasagne in the freezer for our busy night tonight - we didn’t have this on the takeaway night because we wanted to keep it for tonight plus it was about 6pm before we realised we had no dinner stuff and frozen lasagne takes a long time to cook.

Mealplan for the weekend:

Fri - pulled chicken tacos 

Sat brunch - pancakes, fruit, bacon, eggs, avocado platter 
Sat dinner - beef goulash & potatoes 

Sun - spatchcock roast chicken, various veggies etc followed by apple crumble 

I will also have enough ingredients to make and freeze a pasta sauce for next Thursday. 

Shopping £66.35
Strawberries
Avocado x2
Broccoli 
Mushrooms
Green beans
Peppers x3
Parsley
Coriander
Bananas x6
Onions

Milk
Bacon
Extra mature cheddar
Diced beef 
Greek yoghurt 
Soured cream
Chicken breast
Whole chicken

Rye seeded bloomer

Cumin
Garlic granules
Pasta
Chicken & beef stock cans
Chopped tomatoes x3
Apple juice cartons
Cola x3
Crisps 6pk x2
Crisps sharing x2
Haribo tub
Chocolate digestives

Kitchen roll x2
Cocktail sticks 
Washing up liquid

TBH not the best effort and a bit heavy on the treats, but then we have no treats left in except half a tub of ice cream. The Haribo at least will last the kids a little while as they only eat sweets at weekends. I will need to try to avoid the lure of the biscuits as I really could do with focusing on my weight again! 

Bluegreen143

Other random thoughts/things to do:

- Red has been dealing with a mortgage broker to start looking for when our current deal expires in February. Annoyingly the broker persuaded him to look at quotes for a 29 year mortgage (presumably because it makes them look cheaper). We have 25 years left currently and as I pointed out to Red, if we keep lengthening the term the damn thing will never be paid off. So he’s gone back to request quotes for borrowing over 25 years too. 

- Over the next day or two I’m planning to catch up on all the washing and do the twice-yearly sort out of the kids’ clothes. Sundresses, sandals, summer jackets and shorts will be removed (put away in a box if it might fit next year and donated or ragged for cleaning cloths if not). I’ll make a (hopefully short) list of anything they need just now. Monkey has obligingly not grown in a year so won’t need much. Bambi is almost his height though 🤣. I do know that Monkey, and possibly both children, needs walking boots. Luckily last years’ winter coats fit fine - they are being washed right now and I’ll mend a tear on Monkey’s hood once they’re dry. I also know both kids need gloves. 

Baileys_Babe

I wonder if your fridge is running a bit warm as you have mentioned meat going off in the past.

If we buy meat that we will not use before the date we freeze it and then defrost it when needed, would this work for you?

Bluegreen143

Yes, in theory that is what I do too. In practice when they shopping comes on a Thursday (our busiest day) I end up bundling it all in the fridge promising myself I’ll sort it out over the weekend 🙄. I did change the fridge temperature setting yesterday too in case that was it. 

It was really nice only having half a shop yesterday to put away, which I find much more manageable, and I’ve booked our slot for Sunday so I can add to it over the next couple of days. 

I spent £100 from my clothes pot yesterday (which had more than this in) - got myself a really nice looking warm winter coat and a dress. 

Now I’ve taken summer dresses out, I was down to 7 dresses, one of which is my “little black dress” which is far too smart for daily use - it’s what I wear for dates, funerals, it would be my job interview dress if I had one and I do wear it to the office sometimes though it is smarter than I need to dress for the office. So I only actually have 6 normal dresses, one of which is in my mending pile as needs a button sewed on. I wear a dress everyday (I do also have two sets of leisurewear for gardening or cleaning days, illness, hiking etc but otherwise these dresses are the full extent of my wardrobe) and 5-6 outfits really isn’t enough clothing even though I do try to be minimalist 🤣. 

The dress I ordered was from my favourite shop and pricey so a treat, I think I could realistically do with a couple more autumn/winter dresses but I will get any extra more cheaply (Matalan/supermarket or eBay) and not til next month. I have a bit more in the clothing budget now but I need some leggings and thicker tights for winter too. I could also do with a cardigan but that can wait til next month too. 

Today the kids are off school for the Sept weekend and it’s very calm and peaceful in the morning not rushing about doing the school run! I am working today, but only til 2.30pm and Red is off with them. Then I’m off for the bank holiday on Monday, but Red has to work it. We don’t have any specific plans except doing some kind of walk/adventure on Saturday and taking them swimming, maybe on Sunday. Oh and I’ve planned another nice brunch tomorrow and we’ll do a chiminea fire in the evening to play card games next to 🥰. 

Bluegreen143

Oh yesterday I also sorted out the kids’ drawers. I removed anything summery and anything which has a chance of fitting next year is getting added to their out of rotation box, anything too small or stained is getting either donated or cut into rags. 

I realised they don’t need so many outfits over the colder months now as they are wearing school uniform five out of seven days and there aren’t the same amount of holidays in the winter. So I actually realised they both have enough clothes for now. 

Bambi is getting tall and her clothes are mainly right on the edge of fitting so I don’t think they’ll do all winter - a couple of her dresses she already needs to wear with leggings as they are indecent with tights, although she’s very slim so they still fit except in length - but at least I don’t have to get anything this month. 

Monkey does need new walking boots as they are worn out and I think Bambi’s are actually just about outgrown so I’ll probably get her a pair too in the next size. And they both need gloves, and Monkey could do with another winter hat. But it’s a lot less than I thought I’d be buying! 

Spendless

Glad you got the car repaired. Thats something i always say when people are starting out sorting debt. Get an AF running at the same time, not every curveball is able to be solved by a credit card (my preferred garage doesnt accept crefit cards at all). Appreciate you didnt have time to get all the cash together. Good you came up with a solution.
Love that you wear dresses every day. Since I changed to a job where you wear jeans, trainers a company polo shirt, i have a handful of dresses sat in my wardrobe again, unsure what to do with.
Things going out of date sat in the fridge happens to me with packed lunch items. I have to be strict about it and eat the items that go off first and leave the end of the week for prawns (from freezer) and cheese (keeps longer) the rest of the items are always 'shelf stuff' so doesnt matter. 

Bluegreen143

I’m not a naturally girly or appearance-focused person and a couple of years ago I realised that since having the kids I was living in leggings and baggy tops, two stone heavier and generally just quite bedraggled on a daily basis. 

To counteract it I made a few simple rules for myself:

1. Wear dresses every day (except when ill or doing mucky jobs). Ok, sometimes in the winter I still wear leggings underneath (but most often I do wear tights). The reason for this rule is that I feel feminine, attractive and put together in a dress and don’t have to worry about coordinating items together. My dresses all have v or scoop necklines and come in somewhat at the waist with a more flowy skirt which is a silhouette I like on myself. I can’t do tight skirts or baggy tunic sack styles, I don’t have the figure for either!

2. Wear perfume and earrings daily (I rarely wear other jewellery). Again makes me feel put together and takes 20 seconds. 

3. I switched from foundation to tinted moisturiser so I wear that daily too, and do my brows, and then even if I don’t do any other makeup again I feel like I look basically OK for very little effort 😆.

My hair is usually ok as I wash it every night and it’s very long and wavy and looks decent dried naturally. And if I want to look more polished it doesn’t take too long to straighten it. But I need to practice some nice simple go-to hairstyles for if I’ve not washed my hair. It looks nice doing various braided styles but that takes ages, and I can do a ponytail or bun quickly but that doesn’t look great on me… 

beanielou

I love dresses.  So easy to wear especially in summer. 

SecondStar

I greatly admire your commitment to being less bedraggled - it’s something I’ve been thinking about, too!

My office allows casual wear, and so it has become easy to slob into work in comfy jeans and a baggy tshirt, and then come home and swap the jeans for jogging bottoms until bedtime.

Do you find your dresses comfy enough for being at home? And also what shoes would you usually wear, either at home or out and about?