I don't know what to do

[Deleted User]

Will he accept for his name to be taking off? Was any contributions made by him etc 

Best would be to access if you can afford it all or possibly downsizing or taking in a lodger,

With bad credit will be quite hard and expensive getting further debts. 

Hoenir

kgt0103 said:

 Myself and my ex-husband are very amicable, there is no animosity between us, i just need to know what my options are.  Thank you.

Is it possible that your ex knows full well what his options are. Once the children become independent adults. The position in law and the attitude of the courts becomes very different. 

ACG

housebuyer143 said:

kgt0103 said:

ACG said:

Sorry, I know this will sound quite hard but it sounds like you cant afford your home and the debts you have. 
I suppose the practical thing would be to sell up, clear your debts, take the money out of the house and start afresh in a home that is affordable. 

I am assuming thats now what you want to do, so you could sort out payment plans with your creditors. This will result in them defaulting but it draws a line in the sand on the debt. However what it does not fix is that you are still tied into a mortgage with your ex. That issue needs resolving sooner rather than later. Over the years I have seen LOADS of posts where people stick their hand in the sand and then it either becomes a problem to try and sort it - the ex has remarried and the new partner has a share in your home or they have had kids and their kids have a share in your home. Or the ex wants their name taking off at a time that is inconvient for whatever reason or the property has gone up in value and they want half of the equity... Ignoring the issue and carrying on with your life thinking you will resolve it down the line comes with a lot of risk especially for the person paying the mortgage. 

I appreciate your response, but please don't assume you know my situation.  I can easily afford my house, and my debts have significantly improved, as has my credit score, slowly.  I already have payment plans in place with my creditors.  I have not buried my head in the sand where my finances are concerned, I work hard and I pay my bills and you're right, I DON'T want to sell my house.  It is my children's inheritance and their home.  I came on here for advice, not judgement.  I don't know if I need the advice of a solicitor or financial advisor.  This is all the unknown for me.  Myself and my ex-husband are very amicable, there is no animosity between us, i just need to know what my options are.  Thank you.

The poster wasn't providing judgement mearly trying to explain it as it is. You asked for options and really you don't have many. You are unlikely to get a mortgage on your own and although your ex is amicable with you, what happens when the mortgage rate goes up and you want to agree a new rate? Unless he signs for the new mortgage then you won't be able to get it. 
 Have you told him that you want 100% of the equity if you sell? If he's in agreement, then that's great but legally unless you agreed otherwise at the divorce he's likely entitled to half. 

Selling it was mentioned because realistically that's the only way to get out of this situation and cut financial ties with your ex. If you don't want to do that, then staying as you are while you get in a better financial position might be the best option.

Or what happens if the ex gets married/has kids and then dies - that popped up on here not too long ago. The ex's partner wanted some money from the house. 

But its not worth it. 

Newbie_John

You asked what your options are:
1) sell the house - I know that's not what you want, but that's a financialy the best option - removes ex financial dependency, sorts out debts etc.
2) keep going as it is - may be fine for a short while but can bring a lot of issues long term, in 20 years when you pay off the mortgage you may realise that someone else could ask for it

Options that may not be available to you seeing some of your financial situation:
3) removing ex from mortgage - it's like taking mortgage by yourself, will you be able to prove the bank that you can afford it? 

Some other random ideas like taking a lodger for some time to help pay off the debts and then look at option 3 again?

ian1246

You need a solicitor & financial order, regardless of whatever you can sort with the house itself.

The divorce itself is meaningless in terms if finances - your both still legally financially tied, which means whatever you have - now and in the future (I.e. inheritance, lottery win or whatever) he will have a claim on & likewise you with him.

Even IF you manage to get his name of the mortgage, how are you going to feel in 20years time when you've nearly paid your mortgage off if puts in a claim on a chunk of your house? 

What about your pension - something which in itself, over the course of a career, is likely to be worth £100,000's.

The starting point in law is 50/50, with it then being amended based solely on need. I would suggest if you have the kids with you, your "need" compared to his is never going to be greater - leaving it until the kids are older & potentially spending more time with him will significantly weaken your negotiating position... on top of all the above mentioned downsides!

theoretica

kgt0103 said:

 Our mortgage is with NatWest, but I know that they would never give me a mortgage on my own, even though I've never missed a payment and its always been me paying the mortgage.  ...

This is something it might be worth confirming with Natwest, if you haven't.  Perhaps talk to a mortgage broker about what might be possible with another lender - if you ex is willing to sign everything over to you.  There would be some legal fees too.