I don't know what to do

kgt0103

In September 2017 my husband and I bought our house, with the help of my parents gifting us the deposit and in the November 2017 I found out he had been having an affair and we separated (he moved out in the November), followed by divorce. It is a joint mortgage, but he has never paid a penny towards the house in anyway, the mortgage and all utilities, plus maintenance has always been paid by me.  Unfortunately following the divorce my debts escalated and even though I'm trying my best to pay off those debts, my credit score remains poor at present, improving slowly.  Our mortgage is with NatWest, but I know that they would never give me a mortgage on my own, even though I've never missed a payment and its always been me paying the mortgage.  I would love to get him off the mortgage, I recently tried getting a secured loan on the property to clear my debts, pay of my car finance and do some home improvements, but no-one will touch me because its a joint mortgage but he doesn't live in the property.  I just feel lost, with nowhere to turn, don't know what my options are anymore.

Hoenir

Did you have a financial consent order drafted when you divorced ? 

ACG

Sorry, I know this will sound quite hard but it sounds like you cant afford your home and the debts you have. 
I suppose the practical thing would be to sell up, clear your debts, take the money out of the house and start afresh in a home that is affordable. 

I am assuming thats now what you want to do, so you could sort out payment plans with your creditors. This will result in them defaulting but it draws a line in the sand on the debt. However what it does not fix is that you are still tied into a mortgage with your ex. That issue needs resolving sooner rather than later. Over the years I have seen LOADS of posts where people stick their hand in the sand and then it either becomes a problem to try and sort it - the ex has remarried and the new partner has a share in your home or they have had kids and their kids have a share in your home. Or the ex wants their name taking off at a time that is inconvient for whatever reason or the property has gone up in value and they want half of the equity... Ignoring the issue and carrying on with your life thinking you will resolve it down the line comes with a lot of risk especially for the person paying the mortgage. 

kgt0103

No, not that I remember.  The solicitor I used for my divorce, was useless, but she was all I could afford at the time.  I’m not sure who I should contact for advice.  Whether it’s even worth speaking to NatWest.

Voyager2002

I think you need to speak with a good solicitor.

The divorce court had the power to revise ownership of the house and this should have been sorted out at the time. If your solicitor failed to discuss the issue with you then that was negligent to such an extent that compensation could well be in order.

Hoenir

kgt0103 said:

No, not that I remember.  The solicitor I used for my divorce, was useless, but she was all I could afford at the time.  I’m not sure who I should contact for advice.  Whether it’s even worth speaking to NatWest.

The issue you face potentially is that your ex has a claim on the property.  The Natwest aren't in a position to advise you. The joint ownership could also be problematic if your ex doesn't play ball. 

kgt0103

ACG said:

Sorry, I know this will sound quite hard but it sounds like you cant afford your home and the debts you have. 
I suppose the practical thing would be to sell up, clear your debts, take the money out of the house and start afresh in a home that is affordable. 

I am assuming thats now what you want to do, so you could sort out payment plans with your creditors. This will result in them defaulting but it draws a line in the sand on the debt. However what it does not fix is that you are still tied into a mortgage with your ex. That issue needs resolving sooner rather than later. Over the years I have seen LOADS of posts where people stick their hand in the sand and then it either becomes a problem to try and sort it - the ex has remarried and the new partner has a share in your home or they have had kids and their kids have a share in your home. Or the ex wants their name taking off at a time that is inconvient for whatever reason or the property has gone up in value and they want half of the equity... Ignoring the issue and carrying on with your life thinking you will resolve it down the line comes with a lot of risk especially for the person paying the mortgage. 

I appreciate your response, but please don't assume you know my situation.  I can easily afford my house, and my debts have significantly improved, as has my credit score, slowly.  I already have payment plans in place with my creditors.  I have not buried my head in the sand where my finances are concerned, I work hard and I pay my bills and you're right, I DON'T want to sell my house.  It is my children's inheritance and their home.  I came on here for advice, not judgement.  I don't know if I need the advice of a solicitor or financial advisor.  This is all the unknown for me.  Myself and my ex-husband are very amicable, there is no animosity between us, i just need to know what my options are.  Thank you.

born_again

kgt0103 said:

 I can easily afford my house, and my debts have significantly improved, as has my credit score, slowly.  I already have payment plans in place with my creditors.  I have not buried my head in the sand where my finances are concerned, I work hard and I pay my bills and you're right, I DON'T want to sell my house.  It is my children's inheritance and their home.  I came on here for advice, not judgement.  I don't know if I need the advice of a solicitor or financial advisor.  This is all the unknown for me.  Myself and my ex-husband are very amicable, there is no animosity between us, i just need to know what my options are.  Thank you.

Have you broached the subject of removing him for the deeds & mortgage with him, giving he has never paid towards the house?
If he is happy to agree than that is the best way. If not then you are looking at some of the advice above & going legal route.

Although, the comment that you have payment plans in place with creditors is going to restrict options on getting a mortgage. 
Going via broker would be a option, as they might know lenders that are prepared to take on such people. (not judging you here) 👍

Brie

I agree it's a solicitor that is needed to get things regarding the house made official to say he has no claim on it.  A financial adviser may be able to give you advice but won't be able to sort the situation out legally.  

silvercar

Moving unsecured loans to secured is never a good idea, as it puts your home more at risk. When your other debts are not secured on the house you can prioritise the mortgage above all other debts and keep your home.

taking your ex off the mortgage is a bigger problem for him than for you. He is liable for a mortgage on a property he doesn’t live in, at least you live in the property. 

I would continue as you are for the moment, trying to reduce your other debts and making sure you pay the mortgage.

housebuyer143

kgt0103 said:

ACG said:

Sorry, I know this will sound quite hard but it sounds like you cant afford your home and the debts you have. 
I suppose the practical thing would be to sell up, clear your debts, take the money out of the house and start afresh in a home that is affordable. 

I am assuming thats now what you want to do, so you could sort out payment plans with your creditors. This will result in them defaulting but it draws a line in the sand on the debt. However what it does not fix is that you are still tied into a mortgage with your ex. That issue needs resolving sooner rather than later. Over the years I have seen LOADS of posts where people stick their hand in the sand and then it either becomes a problem to try and sort it - the ex has remarried and the new partner has a share in your home or they have had kids and their kids have a share in your home. Or the ex wants their name taking off at a time that is inconvient for whatever reason or the property has gone up in value and they want half of the equity... Ignoring the issue and carrying on with your life thinking you will resolve it down the line comes with a lot of risk especially for the person paying the mortgage. 

I appreciate your response, but please don't assume you know my situation.  I can easily afford my house, and my debts have significantly improved, as has my credit score, slowly.  I already have payment plans in place with my creditors.  I have not buried my head in the sand where my finances are concerned, I work hard and I pay my bills and you're right, I DON'T want to sell my house.  It is my children's inheritance and their home.  I came on here for advice, not judgement.  I don't know if I need the advice of a solicitor or financial advisor.  This is all the unknown for me.  Myself and my ex-husband are very amicable, there is no animosity between us, i just need to know what my options are.  Thank you.

The poster wasn't providing judgement mearly trying to explain it as it is. You asked for options and really you don't have many. You are unlikely to get a mortgage on your own and although your ex is amicable with you, what happens when the mortgage rate goes up and you want to agree a new rate? Unless he signs for the new mortgage then you won't be able to get it. 
 Have you told him that you want 100% of the equity if you sell? If he's in agreement, then that's great but legally unless you agreed otherwise at the divorce he's likely entitled to half. 

Selling it was mentioned because realistically that's the only way to get out of this situation and cut financial ties with your ex. If you don't want to do that, then staying as you are while you get in a better financial position might be the best option.