My Neighbour is a raging Alcoholic...she admits it!!

Mustbeananswer??

But underneath all that she has a good heart.

She has had her door kicked in by the Police searching for her Ex Boyfriend.She is facing eviction because of the door.She has no boiler.She is only Mid 30s.Her place is in disarray.Should I and how can I help her.....because she is never in a fit state to do anything.She has the biggest Self Destuct Button I have ever seen ???     Always getting arrested too.  

elsien

Not quite seeing the connection with her door being kicked in because of someone looking for an ex-boyfriend (ex being the relevant word here ) with her alleged use of alcohol? 

If she has no boiler, then surely that is down to the landlord to sort out?
Has she taken advice about whether the eviction is legal or not?

Does she want any help? 

thriftytwosome

Be very careful about being involved. I know this sounds harsh but having experience of this myself it may be very difficult to withdraw your support in the future.Where do you stop? I'm afraid alcoholics are great manipulators. Perhaps Citizens Advice or other charities could help her?

prowla

If you get involved then her problems will become your problems.

Jude57

prowla said:

If you get involved then her problems will become your problems.

I couldn't agree more. With any addiction there's the risk that the addict will say and do anything to support their addiction including making grand promises to stop using whatever, stealing from anyone with portable goods that can be sold to fund the addiction and manipulating any situation to their own advantage. Then there's turning on those trying to help them and making the helper's life a misery including, but not limited to, accusing the helper of serious (intimate) assault which can devastate a person's entire life, even when proven to be untrue.

The first thing anyone working with those with addiction learns is that only the addict can beat the addiction. Unless the addict is committed to change, nothing anyone else does will have any effect. Most addicts quickly learn that admitting to their addiction earns them brownie points with those unfamiliar with how addiction actually works. Most people know the adage that the first step to tackling addiction is for the addict to admit they are addicted. What most won't know is that many (perhaps most) addicts never progress beyond that point but know it's useful in gaining sympathy from the well meaning people trying to help them.

My advice, for what it's worth? Stay well away. You're not this woman's saviour, you can never be that and you'll regret trying. By all means find the details for addiction support in your area and pass the information to her if you like, but don't do more unless you are happy to be entangled in her mess and to become her latest victim.

Mustbeananswer??

Thanks for that Comprehensive reply Jude 57 ...I heed your words !! 

bunnygo

Sadly - stay out of this. She's also very vulnerable to cuckooing (surprised it hasn't happened already) which will mean you'll be next door to a drug den. The eviction will mean the council take her somewhere else, hopefully with some actual help.

Mustbeananswer??

Yep ......bunnygo.....Its not my concern I guess ...plus its a hopeless case.  

T.T.D

Do nothing. 

That’s the best help you could ever offer someone that’s in this shape  

Mustbeananswer??

T.T.D said:

Do nothing. 

That’s the best help you could ever offer someone that’s in this shape  

It looks like she is staying with her Sister...I suspect she will be back at benefit payment date.

freesha

You don't help her, she can only help herself.