Finding (paid) admin support for someone sorting things out after bereavement

Bricks

A family member is trying to sort out all the stuff that needs to be sorted out after the death of their partner ... and is finding it all a bit overwhelming, especially in the face of what they feel is worsening memory and general cognitive decline, which might be somewhat to do with aging but I think is also a result of all the stress they have been under.

I am wondering, if it's possible to employ someone to help them with some of this admin type stuff. It's not someone to give legal or specialist advice - just someone to help them get organised, make sure they are getting through tasks, remind them of things they need to follow up and so on. A kind of second brain if you like, to help take the burden off a bit.

It might be a matter of a couple of hours a couple of days a week, something like that. Probably in person, because various paper files are involved.

Is that a service that exists? If so, I'm not quite sure what to google for.

Has anyone done something similar and/or any suggestions where to look?

swingaloo

Would a family member not step in and help. Hiring a stranger seems odd because how will they know what needs doing and who who needs contacting unless the bereaved person tells them which means they still have to think it through themselves. Im thinking of pensions, shares, banking etc.  Every case is individual, there is no set list to follow.
The banks probably wouldnt speak to some random helper either. Plus there is the fact that you would be giving all this private information to a stranger. 

born_again

Agree with the above, as a family you need to muck in & assist them.

Bricks

swingaloo said:

Would a family member not step in and help. Hiring a stranger seems odd because how will they know what needs doing and who who needs contacting unless the bereaved person tells them which means they still have to think it through themselves. Im thinking of pensions, shares, banking etc.  Every case is individual, there is no set list to follow.
The banks probably wouldnt speak to some random helper either. Plus there is the fact that you would be giving all this private information to a stranger. 

The person concerned knows and understands what needs to be done, and is quite capable of doing things like speaking to banks, etc.

It's really just someone to help them get a bit organised, set out a list of tasks and help them tick them off and make sure they are getting done. In some ways as much moral support as anything.

Yup a family member (like me!) could, and will if necessary step in to help. This is just a bit difficult due to general work commitments, distance and so on.

Also... some people are easier to help, if they are being helped by someone they don't already have a personal relationship with!

Cairnpapple

How embedded is the person in their community? I would be looking for a retired admin person or someone who is secretary/treasurer to a local club, church etc. I'm fairly confident that my parents could find that sort of person by word of mouth because they know all their neighbours, volunteer, etc. I'd find it more difficult myself, unless one of my organised friends was between jobs/ looking for a side hustle. 

Brie

Cairnpapple said:

How embedded is the person in their community? I would be looking for a retired admin person or someone who is secretary/treasurer to a local club, church etc. I'm fairly confident that my parents could find that sort of person by word of mouth because they know all their neighbours, volunteer, etc. I'd find it more difficult myself, unless one of my organised friends was between jobs/ looking for a side hustle. 

Quite agree with this.  It might be a case of thinking outside the box a bit.  If they aren't in a church group is there a senior's group nearby?  Is there an ex work club?  Local pensioners group?  Are they ex military?  Ex financial industry?  Would ringing the doctor's surgery (assuming you can get through) give you some leads?  Maybe it's simply a case of getting an online checklist from Age UK?  Maybe talk to citizen's advice for their area?  Even a care agency might be able to help in some way but obviously for a fee.

Jon1970

It's really just someone to help them get a bit organised, set out a list of tasks and help them tick them off and make sure they are getting done.

There is a list of tasks on the probate/government website that takes you through everything you need to do after the death of someone in order. Whilst not an actual person it's a list and maybe a family member could use that to guide the person through what needs to be done?

Bricks

Cairnpapple said:

How embedded is the person in their community? I would be looking for a retired admin person or someone who is secretary/treasurer to a local club, church etc. I'm fairly confident that my parents could find that sort of person by word of mouth because they know all their neighbours, volunteer, etc.

Yes - this is definitely a route that's worth investigating.

They are well embedded in their community (and in fact a former secretary/treasurer to various local organisations!). However, because it involves with dealing with some personal/financial stuff, there might be reasons they'd be more comfortable with someone a bit more detached.

Bricks

Jon1970 said:

It's really just someone to help them get a bit organised, set out a list of tasks and help them tick them off and make sure they are getting done.

There is a list of tasks on the probate/government website that takes you through everything you need to do after the death of someone in order. Whilst not an actual person it's a list and maybe a family member could use that to guide the person through what needs to be done?

Sure ... in this case though, it involves a bit more than the standard list.

Savvy_Sue

The service you're looking for is a Personal Assistant, and if you can't find one of them easily, then I'd look for a Declutterer - even if there is no declutterring to do, it is a question of working through paperwork, methodically recording what's what, listing what has been done and what remains to be done. 

I quite agree you might find it easier to use someone other than a friend or family member to help with this kind of stuff. 

An advert on NextDoor might find a suitable person, but you do need to work out what YOU (or the OP's relative) wants from them, hours needed etc, and get references. 

RAS

Would someone who does "book-keeping" or tax returns for small businesses be appropriate?

I do gather how difficult it can be dealing with stuff as I had POA for a parent. After their death I put together the file with all their financial information for probate. A few years later I had to gut the paper files I'd retained relating to their affairs. That took me places I didn't particularly want to go.