Should I ask my ex to refund the cost of our daughters holiday

Sam7415

Hi, just looking for a bit of information,  a holiday was booked for my daughter & myself (& family) , there are no court orders involved, but the other parent has parental responsibility as well, as this was done as a surprise I only had a few months to sort legal help ( there was domestic abuse with my ex)my ex has not had contact for around 3/4 yrs( my dd came back from a visit and said she was scared of her dad)so I stopped all communication etc, my solicitor contacted him,but he responded by saying my solicitor had to go through his son ? And they wanted all the holiday details and docters ,school etc and that on getting this ,that her dad would see no reason for her not to go, now we go in just over a week  and I've found out he's not signed the permission letter, and is ignoring my solicitor. If I can't take my daughter could I put in  a claim to him to cover  the cost of the holiday if she doesn't go ? As it would be too late to change details if he leaves it any longer,

tacpot12

You can't really make a claim on him, as you knew that his permission would be required. You should have obtained this before booking the holiday.

Pointing out how upset your daughter will be is the best lever you have.

Jemma01

I agree with @tacpot12 , I don't think you have a legal ground here. You spent the money before he formally consented. More of a lesson learnt.

How old is your daughter? 

I'm unsure I'm following what you wrote. You hadn't spoken to him for 4 years, and suddenly asked your solicitor to reach out to him for holiday money?

Does he not pay child support?

DullGreyGuy

Do you really need a permission letter? Is your name different to your daughter?

We've had family visit from overseas a few times with just mother and kids travelling (their naming convention is different than the UK so names only partially match) and went with them to Europe and never had a problem without having any "permission" form etc from their dad. 

HampshireH

Government are clear that you must get permission from everyone with PR to take a child abroad else it could be viewed as abduction. (Unless a child arrangement order is in place)

I guess it's only not an issue until you get stopped and asked.

However what I don't understand is if you haven't had contact for 4 years how would he even have known you went on holiday.

You can get a court order, how quickly I don't know but your solicitor should be able to advise

sevenhills

If you have parental responsibility for a child but you do not live with them, it does not mean you have a right to spend time with your children. However, "the other parent must include you when making important decisions" about their lives.

If you don't do the above, how can you then ask them for money?

Voyager2002

You do not need a formal signed document from him.

You discussed the holiday with him, and he made it clear that he would agree so long as he was given details of schools, doctors and so on. You provided the information requested and so there is a presumption that he agrees to the holiday.

Having said this, it would obviously be better if he did sign the permission letter. 

Loza2016

Just my experience but I’ve taken my daughter abroad numerous times and never had written permission from her father although he’s always known. 

The only time I have been stopped was coming back because we have different surnames. All they did was ask my daughter if she knew me and once she confirmed I was her mother we were sent on our way. I’ve also taken my nephew abroad without written permission. 

smudge56

You could apply for a child arrangement order which allows you to take the child out of the country for up to 28days

Danien

Why a permission letter if there is no legal order saying you need written rather than verbal permission?

If it were me I would send recorded next day delivery letter, keeping a copy, saying something like

'as agreed with you verbally, I have provided the requested details you needed in order to agree to your daughter's holiday to x place.

As all discussed conditions to your approval have been met (list conditions and that all these have been provided), we will be leaving x date and returning x date on the understanding your initial approval still stands.

As you have not been in touch since your initial conditional approval was given, despite my trying to contact you, and all conditions have been met, the holiday will be going ahead unless you inform us otherwise.

Of course if you did decide to withdraw permission now and the holiday had to cancelled (your daughter would be incredibly upset) on such short notice, after my attempts to contact you, then reimbursement would need to be discussed with you for the cost of the holiday due to the lateness of your response.'


Then I would take my daughter on holiday unless he got back to me, leaving the copy letter and proof of postage with someone who could come forward if he made a fuss.

I would state that I am not legally trained at all, but this is just what I personally would do as he has given verbal permission as long as conditions were met. You then met the conditions, so you therefore have approval.

T.T.D

Generally family law courts in most arrangements orders allow each parent a number of days holidaying without permission from another parent.

This so there are no big arguments over taking a child abroad for a 14day holiday. 

Generally speaking although there is no signed permission from him, there is no court order stating she cannot go either, he would need to go before a district judge in a prohibited steps hearing to prevent her from going, he would need a really good reason such as fear for fleeing an not returning.

He would need to flex his right as a parent with responsibility in a reasonable cause, not just because he wants to mess with you or exert control because he can. In fact poor behaviour like refusing to let the child out the country on holiday can viewed in a negative light.

I know a solicitor would not advise you just go because proper documentation have not been signed, The magic words with your solicitor from you would be “he has not signed them forms so inform mr X that unless he signs the form or objects then x is going and he would need a obtains an order and serves it preventing me from taking X on holiday 48hrs before take off X will be going to where ever staying at this hotel and returning at x time”