Advice needed

fletch3163

Hi there

What a nice sister you are! As one who has been in a similar situation (more than once), all we really do is enable their bad spending habits. Giving them money isn't actually helping and we're left out of pocket. They won't change until either they get their LBM or when they have no choice but to toe the fiscal line. It's not as if they're robbing Peter to pay Paul or anything, they're just firmly in denial and looking for the easiest way to get funds. Well done for being strong till now.

antilles

My brother and his OH are in a similar position. Neither of them have ever been good with money. He ran up several massive overdrafts around 10 years ago, and I bailed him out by paying both of them off and letting him pay me back weekly. Took me around 2 years to get the money back.

Then I found out that he'd run up another overdraft, I bailed him out again, and again waited a very long time to get the money back.

He's been with his OH about 5 years now and she's the type who lives completely beyond her means. We think they have run up debts totalling around 15-20K (not including the mortgage - the house has been remortgaged twice to pay off other debts).

It just shows you that sometimes you can't help people - sometimes the course of action is to let them learn the hard way.

vanilla

Thanks everyone for all the replies, they didn't come up last night so i think they propabaly went to the pub seeing it was payday. They both drink quite a bit but they don't see it.

I know they will be up on monday evening as he has a second job over the road from us that is if he goes, he was dispert for this job and asked my FIL to put in a good word for him as he is FIL's neighbour and he knows him well but since he's started he's missed quite a few days and only goes if he wants to , i feel bad for FIL as he thought he was reliable.

In a way i hope they don't show up this week-end because i don't think i could listen to all there big plans as i know not one will happen unless they get into even more debt.

I know they could really sort this mess out as there both in good paying jobs and they can certainly make cut backs as they eat out all the time eventho they buy food for the week then it goes out off date and they bin it and if they stopped drinking well they would save a forture. They seem quite impressed with saying that they have spent 100 pounds on a night out , thats just on something out of the chippie and drink.

Sorry for the long moan, but i think i'm better saying it here than to them.
Thanks for listening.

fletch3163

It's like you're living my life:D . I have members of my family who blatantly owe me money but still stand in front of me with their newly bought items, bragging. So, just because I live within my means (ish) surely I can't be expected to bail them out at every turn. It's not selfishness. Do you know, one sister bragged about her £120 jeans the other week? :mad: