Friends with different levels of disposable income

RipleyG

My experience of this is from both sides, at different times of my life. Quite honestly, you just have to decide what kind of friend you want to be.

There are easy ways to adapt to the lowest of low budgets while still getting together. 

A 'rich' gang of us booked a holiday house and shared the cost. There was a tiny single room that we offered to a friend in exchange for bringing some booze. When I lost my job I proposed a monthly 'discount dinner party' where the aim was to cook 3 courses for no more than £1 a head. (yes, it was a while ago!). We did that for 6 months. 

Fast forward 20 years and I'm now earning peanuts after becoming disabled, while hubby is on a lowish salary. Jointly we just about earn the average salary for a single person - our friends earn between £70-150k, each! We've been honest that we can't afford fancy meals. Instead we meet for dinners at each others houses, go walking, or pop for just a pint at a pub. 

I've been friends with this group for over 25 years. There's been ebbs and flows for all of us at different times - health, money, and relationship wise - and the nature of our friendship adapts to reflect that. 

Phil_82

It’s definitely a tough situation, and unfortunately, money can create distance even between close friends. It’s not just about different incomes but also lifestyle expectations—when one person can’t comfortably afford the group’s usual activities, it can lead to feelings of exclusion or awkwardness on both sides.

It sounds like your friend may be pulling away because he’s embarrassed or doesn’t want to be a financial burden. He probably values the friendship but doesn’t want to be in a position where he’s constantly relying on others to cover for him.

If you still want to keep him in your life, maybe suggest meetups that aren’t so financially demanding—casual drinks, a home-cooked dinner, or even a simple walk. That way, he doesn’t feel pressured, and you still maintain the connection. If the rest of the group isn’t keen on adjusting their habits, then it may be a case of naturally drifting apart, but that doesn’t mean you have to lose the friendship entirely.

It’s sad when money complicates friendships, but ultimately, if you both value the bond, you’ll find ways to keep it alive outside of expensive outings.