Just wondering. How long was it between the death and the funeral or cremation.

Cairnpapple

(West of Scotland) My dad taught me that the funeral HAD to be within a week. In the 90s, my mum died on a Monday morning and we only waited to Friday because a lot of people were travelling. 

However, I just don't think that's possible now given how busy the crematoria are. I was just thinking that I need to get my head round the fact that I won't be able to do my dad's funeral 'correctly' when he goes but actually I think he'd accept the realities. I should have a chat with him as he's still the family funeral organiser, whereas I haven't been involved in organising one since my mum's.

Edited because I didn't actually answer the question: recent funerals maybe 2-3 weeks up here, 4-6 weeks for family in the Midlands. 

pjs493

It was about six or seven weeks with my husband. He died suddenly at a reasonably young age with no preexisting health conditions, so it took over a week for him to be released by the coroner. A post mortem was required. It was at the two week point (due to weekends, by the time I appointed a funeral director and they took him into their care).

Then there was a bit of family friction between me and his parents over where the funeral and burial would take place. They wanted to control everything and specify where and when. They weren’t interested in what my husband’s wishes actually were (that were written in his Will). 

He had a military funeral with full ceremonial honours which takes a while to prepare. I’m told the training is at least a week once those who are to be involved are identified and availability is figured out (bearer party, gun salute party, liaising with local police re guns going off in a local cemetery, etc). 

We had a bit of drama when my in-laws went off script and announced plans for a funeral without consulting me or the military, so it took some time to claw that back and stop misinformation.

It then came down to availability at the cemetery where my husband (and I eventually) wanted to be buried. The first date they could give me was three weeks down the line which meant it was six or seven weeks in the end. We also had a couple of dates that were best avoided (a wedding anniversary and a couple of close family birthdays) which pushed things on a bit.

There was also initially the potential added complication of some people being abroad, which we thought might be an issue initially, but by the time things were organised it was no longer an issue because they returned from their holiday. 

Because my husband’s death was so sudden and unexpected, other than his wishes in his Will that he’d thought about due to the risk of being deployed, there wasn’t any preplanning. Comparatively, a relative who was terminally ill a couple of years ago was involved in their own plans and things happened quite quickly. They died in hospital following a long illness so there was no need for the coroner to be involved and no major planning like that needed for a military funeral. 

WYSPECIAL

p00hsticks said:

Torry_Quine said:

These do seem long. I've been involved in organising 3 funerals. Two were less than a week and one of those died at Easter. The most was my husband at 11 days but that was just because of the date I chose.

Were those deaths expected though ?
It took 8 days for me to even be in a position where we had the necessary paperwork to register the death... 

you don’t need to have registered the death to arrange a funeral. The funeral won’t be able to take place until you’ve registered but you can still get everything’s booked.

WYSPECIAL

GDB2222 said:

Time2count said:

The longest I've experienced was only last year, no suspicious circumstances, no post mortem etc and 9 weeks from death to funeral. And that seems to have been purely down to crematorium availability.

It is very strange to have such a long delay at the crematorium, if it’s routine. You would think they would install extra, ahem, facilities, or work night shifts. 

Most areas have a choice of crematoria within travelling distance. Most councils will offer weekend services during peak times.

user1977

WYSPECIAL said:

p00hsticks said:

Torry_Quine said:

These do seem long. I've been involved in organising 3 funerals. Two were less than a week and one of those died at Easter. The most was my husband at 11 days but that was just because of the date I chose.

Were those deaths expected though ?
It took 8 days for me to even be in a position where we had the necessary paperwork to register the death... 

you don’t need to have registered the death to arrange a funeral.

Or even died!

Newly_retired

My husband died a year ago today. Being just before the May Bank Holiday weekend it was not possible to get the death certificate from the Registrar, as they did not receive it from the hospital for five days. 

The funeral was held just under three weeks later, which gave time for a made to measure coffin to be made, and for relatives to agree on a date they could attend with minimal inconvenience. As it was a woodland burial there was not problem for dates with them and the undertakers were available. I chose a time when I knew our minister would be free. I shoud add that that time gap felt about right, to make all the preparations in terms of the service, who would read, what music was needed eyc.
We arranged for a service of thanksgiving in church five weeks later. It took all of that time to make all the preparations and to arrange for many people to be involved.
As the one who had to arrange everything, it kept me very focussed. It worked for us.

BungalowBel

My friend's funeral was about three weeks (burial, England) but his widow was told she would have had to wait twice as long for a cremation.  Thankfully their choice always was for a burial.

Mands

Sarahspangles said:

A distant relative, now a ex-pat, recently passed away in Spain. I’m told his funeral was the next day! The only close relative who wasn’t too frail to travel was the sole mourner. I think though that it was expected, and he’d probably outlived his local friends, or they had moved back to the UK.

Next day burial is common in the Med and the Middle East. When my husband died, in Cyprus, I arrange the funeral for almost a week after his death to allow people to get over from UK. There was a significant amount of ... unease from the Cypriot side at such an enormous delay. 

When my step mother died in UK, her cremation was almost 4 weeks after her death. At the wake I ended up talking to the vicar and making small talk. I commented that where I lived next-day was the standard so waiting a month seemed unusual to me. 

She looked a little uncomfortable, took a sip of her G&T and muttered ... emissions!

I was absolutely baffled and asked her to repeat herself. Again ... emissions! 

When I pushed further she said the crematorium had the capacity to carry out more cremations, thereby reducing the wait, but that the emissions the facility produced broke some sort of environmental standard so they limited the number on any one day. 

It was perhaps not the conversation I expected to have, particularly on that day. 

Mands

DairyQueen

My beloved brother died on 16th April and will be cremated on Thursday 2nd May. This is just over two weeks but he opted for direct cremation so will occupy an early morning slot. A more popular time would require a much longer delay.

Intoodeep

WYSPECIAL said:

GDB2222 said:

Time2count said:

The longest I've experienced was only last year, no suspicious circumstances, no post mortem etc and 9 weeks from death to funeral. And that seems to have been purely down to crematorium availability.

It is very strange to have such a long delay at the crematorium, if it’s routine. You would think they would install extra, ahem, facilities, or work night shifts. 

Most areas have a choice of crematoria within travelling distance. Most councils will offer weekend services during peak times.

In some areas there are a distinct lack of Crematoria, in our local area for example, Shrewsbury is the closest, 25 miles away, Telford 35 miles away, Hereford 40 miles away and towards Wales the closest are Wrexham 47 miles away & Abeystwyth.56 miles away. A local guy in Mid Wales sought to build one in Mid Wales but out came the nimbys even though it was in a very sympathetically arranged spot.
And also taking into account that a majority of people now opt for a Cremation over a Burial, nearly 80% at the last count, the lack of new facilities and a steady increase of the numbers mean that there is only so many slots in a day.