"Do you mind if I ask you why"

prowla

I had a call from British Gas today and the person had evidently practiced doing their spiel about a free quote for a boiler without a pause, so I had to wait til they'd finished.

I then said "Sorry, I'm not interested".

They responded with "Do you mind if I ask you why?".

So I replied "Yes, I do mind.".

They paused a moment and then said "You mind if I asked you?".

"Yes", I said.

In fairness to them they were polite in closing off the call.

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?" to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

Martyn_H

That would annoy me too. You've already told him 'no thanks.'

lincroft1710

That phrase really annoys me. It implies one isn't capable of making a rational decision. Perhaps replies along the lines of "My horoscope for today says I mustn't take up offers from strange men (or women) on the telephone" " My cat/doggy/budgie is looking most displeased so I cannot do business with you"  "It's against my religion"

Albermarle

prowla said:

I had a call from British Gas today and the person had evidently practiced doing their spiel about a free quote for a boiler without a pause, so I had to wait til they'd finished.

I then said "Sorry, I'm not interested".

They responded with "Do you mind if I ask you why?".

So I replied "Yes, I do mind.".

They paused a moment and then said "You mind if I asked you?".

"Yes", I said.

In fairness to them they were polite in closing off the call.

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?" to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?" to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

The person is a salesperson trying to sell you something. It is their job to find a way to get a customer to place an order.
As you say in the end they were polite and closed the call. 

If you worked for a company, and business was a bit quiet and maybe job losses looming. Then you would not be very happy if a salesperson for your company did not try their hardest to get sales.

prowla

Albermarle said:

prowla said:

I had a call from British Gas today and the person had evidently practiced doing their spiel about a free quote for a boiler without a pause, so I had to wait til they'd finished.

I then said "Sorry, I'm not interested".

They responded with "Do you mind if I ask you why?".

So I replied "Yes, I do mind.".

They paused a moment and then said "You mind if I asked you?".

"Yes", I said.

In fairness to them they were polite in closing off the call.

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?" to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?" to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

The person is a salesperson trying to sell you something. It is their job to find a way to get a customer to place an order.
As you say in the end they were polite and closed the call. 

If you worked for a company, and business was a bit quiet and maybe job losses looming. Then you would not be very happy if a salesperson for your company did not try their hardest to get sales.

Yep, and they're not going to sell me anything by being annoying.

eddddy

prowla said:

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?". to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

It's a standard part of every sales training course - it's called "objection handling".

I.e. dealing with any objections you have to purchasing.

The salesperson will have read their script to you, and then has a list of maybe 20 objections and standard responses. (i.e. They ask you the reason you don't want to buy, and then they read out the reply to that reason.)

So it's always fun to think up a whacky reason which won't be on their list.

prowla

eddddy said:

prowla said:

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?". to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

It's a standard part of every sales training course - it's called "objection handling".

I.e. dealing with any objections you have to purchasing.

The salesperson will have read their script to you, and then has a list of maybe 20 objections and standard responses. (i.e. They ask you the reason you don't want to buy, and then they read out the reply to that reason.)

So it's always fun to think up a whacky reason which won't be on their list.

Thanks for the explanation; I didn't know the terminology.

It's obvious they've been trained to say it, because I get it a lot.

I think I'll start asking back "Why are you asking me that question?".

Albermarle

prowla said:

eddddy said:

prowla said:

However, I consider the "Do you mind if I ask you why?". to be rather passive-aggressive, because they want to then engage you to belittle any concerns you have so they might get their deal.

It's a standard part of every sales training course - it's called "objection handling".

I.e. dealing with any objections you have to purchasing.

The salesperson will have read their script to you, and then has a list of maybe 20 objections and standard responses. (i.e. They ask you the reason you don't want to buy, and then they read out the reply to that reason.)

So it's always fun to think up a whacky reason which won't be on their list.

Thanks for the explanation; I didn't know the terminology.

It's obvious they've been trained to say it, because I get it a lot.

I think I'll start asking back "Why are you asking me that question?".

As said 'objection handling' is  a standard part of every sales course.

However when you are dealing with a good salesperson face to face ( not  an inexperienced telesales person/cold caller reading from a script) you may not even realise that it is happening, if they are any good at their job.

Murphybear

lincroft1710 said:

That phrase really annoys me. It implies one isn't capable of making a rational decision. Perhaps replies along the lines of "My horoscope for today says I mustn't take up offers from strange men (or women) on the telephone" " My cat/doggy/budgie is looking most displeased so I cannot do business with you"  "It's against my religion"

If I had a call I’d say something along the the lines of “I haven’t got a boiler” or “my boiler is only a year old”.   . 

Pollycat

I would simply say 'I don't deal with any company that cold calls me'.

lincroft1710

Pollycat said:

I would simply say 'I don't deal with any company that cold calls me'.

"Do you mind if I ask you why you don't deal with any company that cold calls you?"