Would you move closer to family?

onomatopoeia99

Where are your spouse's family and why are they not being given the option to move close to their family members in this scenario?

Also, does your son have no educational aspirations beyond GCSEs (e.g. sixth form, A levels, then undergraduate degree) since you seem to assume he will finish school at 16?  

As someone that left the family home to go to university while still a teenager and never returned to live there permanently (and 35 years on still lives over 100 miles away) I don't feel any particular need to have family close by.

chelseablue

onomatopoeia99 said:

Where are your spouse's family and why are they not being given the option to move close to their family members in this scenario?

Also, does your son have no educational aspirations beyond GCSEs (e.g. sixth form, A levels, then undergraduate degree) since you seem to assume he will finish school at 16?  

As someone that left the family home to go to university while still a teenager and never returned to live there permanently (and 35 years on still lives over 100 miles away) I don't feel any particular need to have family close by.

My husbands family (his mum and brother) live about 25 minutes from us. He doesn’t talk to his brother and probably sees his mum around once a month sometimes less. 

When she’s no longer with us we’ll have no one that doesn’t involve a 2 hour drive 

Our son really struggles at school due to ADHD and can’t wait to be done with it already but of course that could change when he’s older. 

[Deleted User]

If you get along with them.

Personally, would like to live near family for support and having them close by. We are a tight knit family meet up for birthdays etc. Also helpful with childcare etc.

It is a personal choice no one size fits all.

6 years is a long time closer to the time can decide.

Only yesterday went to visit my brother's newly extended 6 bedroom semi and jealousy can creep in but they all do spur me on feels like all my siblings including myself are successful so happy for them. When I see others doing so well spurs me on to what is possible. In the future for example will also be extending my semi. 

Savvy_Sue

We moved when the boys were 12, 9 and 7. I can't imagine doing it to any of them at 16. 

I changed schools for 6th form. It was very difficult to make friends and fit in. 

If you're going to move, I'd say sooner rather than later.

Spendless

Start doing your prep work now and then review in a couple of years (when you're out of probation for your job) 
 What's the post16 options for the area you wish to move to? . Both mine after 16 went to FE colleges and did (completely different)  Level 3 Vocational courses.. 1 went to our local one, the other commuted. In both cases everyone was new to each other in class , so all in same boat. Both made better friends there when they were with people who shared the same interests than they had at school with kids of their own age who happened to live close by. 

Newly_retired

If you can't move now, why not wait and see what your son's secondary school provision is like. If it is not good, you could cause him less upset by moving ihim in his Year 7 or 8 than later on. It is really helpful to already live in the area when you are looking at post-16 provision. 

Wyndham

When I was growing up we moved around 100 miles, not once, but twice. First time I was 12, second time 17. Both were really hard, and I struggled to make friends in the new place - it did happen eventually, but took time as everyone was already in their 'groups'. But the move at 12 was easier overall than the one at 17, just because of teenage angst!

honeypop

I have boys aged 13 and 15, the 'best' time (if there was one) for us to have moved to a new area, change school etc would have been before they started secondary school. And actually we almost moved away between the eldest finished year 6 and starting year 7, but it fell through and we're now glad we didn't do it. 

15 doesn't know what he wants to do after GCSEs but we do know he has an amazing friendship group he wouldn't like to be moved away from, and we wouldn't do that to him. They might not be in touch for ever, but I wouldn't want to be the one to bring it to an end.
So the next time we'd consider moving 'away' would be when all our kids are able to live independently, working etc, so they had the choice to remain if they wanted to.

MrsPorridge

What if your brother should move again and then your Mum move nearer to him?  Would you follow them?