Would you move closer to family?

chelseablue

I'm sure it might be a no-brainer but just wanted some confirmation people would do the same as it keeps going round in my head whats for the best

Background; I'm married with a 10 year old child
Living in the South of England

My family used to live about a 25 minute drive from us, then about 6 years ago my brother moved to the Midlands for work. He now has a partner and they've just moved into their lovely £900k house (jealous? moi?)

Two years ago after my Dad died my Mum sold her house and moved up to not far from my brother
We have no family in the town we live in

So, getting to the point; our plan is for our son to finish secondary school down here and move up to where my family is when our son is 16.

In 6 years my Mum will be 72 so will be nice to live only a short drive away from her and my brother instead of the 2hr drive we have now

I know 6 years is ages away but am I right in thinking it seems an obvious choice to move closer to family?

I know I'm over-thinking but the furthest I've ever moved is 12 miles

lincroft1710

Think about it nearer the time, lots could happen in 6 years

Brie

Will you and your OH be able to find employment up north?

Gavin83

I wouldn’t move but ultimately it’s a personal decision. I certainly wouldn’t consider it an obvious choice though, you need to think what’s best for your immediate family.

You mentioned you’re married, what does your spouse think about this move? Although I appreciate he’s currently 10 what’s your son’s opinion? Also consider he’d be a few years off uni. I think you’d need to consider what you’d do if a few years after the move he went to uni closer to your current location and then stayed living there. I know a few people who have done this.

Still, it’s 6 years. Plenty of time to consider your options and who knows what will change between now and then.

chelseablue

Brie said:

Will you and your OH be able to find employment up north?

I work in the emergency services so can transfer. My husband is self employed so can work anywhere really 

chelseablue

Gavin83 said:

I wouldn’t move but ultimately it’s a personal decision. I certainly wouldn’t consider it an obvious choice though, you need to think what’s best for your immediate family.

You mentioned you’re married, what does your spouse think about this move? Although I appreciate he’s currently 10 what’s your son’s opinion? Also consider he’d be a few years off uni. I think you’d need to consider what you’d do if a few years after the move he went to uni closer to your current location and then stayed living there. I know a few people who have done this.

Still, it’s 6 years. Plenty of time to consider your options and who knows what will change between now and then.

Currently son is fully on board as he is very close to my Mum and Brother but appreciate there is a big difference between 10 and 16. Husband currently is for it but again a lot of difference between saying and doing, although we don't have any family that live in our current town and neither of us are getting any younger. When my Mum needs more support will we be up for keep doing 2 hrs each way 

Regarding Uni my son is currently very unacademic (ADHD) so I would probably fall off my chair if he went to Uni, he's more of a practical chap but you never know 

bluelad1927

Just wait and see what happens over next six years

 At 16 a move like this is likely to have a huge impact on your sons life

Sea_Shell

My parents moved me half way up the country at 15.  Can't remember getting a say in the matter.

It was a massive wrench.  Leaving all my friends (and boyfriend) behind, and having to change school midway through my GCSEs.

However, I'm an outgoing person, so I soon made new friends and did well in my exams, and looking back, it was the best move for our family.

It wasn't to be nearer other family, but for work.

HampshireH

Personally I wouldn't move for that reason.

But when your child is 16 seems an odd time to do it as a set target. He will have strong bonds at that point, may have done work experience and have a job.

It would make more sense to do it now before he starts a new school and builds new friendships.

400ixl

I wouldn't move for that reason, but if I was to, then I would do it now, not in 6 years where it will have a bigger impact.

chelseablue

HampshireH said:

Personally I wouldn't move for that reason.

But when your child is 16 seems an odd time to do it as a set target. He will have strong bonds at that point, may have done work experience and have a job.

It would make more sense to do it now before he starts a new school and builds new friendships.

Unfortunately we can’t do it now as I have to be out of probation to be able to transfer with my work. So 2 years time would be the soonest we could do it

I thought after he’s finished school might be ok then he can do college/apprenticeship in the new place. 

Both me and my husband haven’t seen anyone we went to school with since we left. All my friends/acquaintances have been people I met when an adult through work/school mums. 

Also thinking way into the future, but when me and Mr Chelseablue are retired it would be nice to live closer to family, plus my son is an only child so when we’re gone it might be nice for him to live closer to uncle, aunt, cousins.