Will

Cit6

Type your My farther died 6 years ago leaving no will.

My mother (still alive) should have had everything (As I understand it)   My brother had the lot, Money (All under the bed!) and everything else he owned. About £50000 in total. No house (rented)

I lived the other end of the country at the time and knew nothing about till I returned 3 months later. I spoke to mom the same day of the death. I now live local. I never got on with dad and did not go to the funeral. 

As she was very upset with dads death she didn’t want to talk to me about and didn’t really know the money had gone. Over the following months he took what he could including the car (mom never drove)

According to my brother (who I last spoke to 6 years ago) dad said (on his death bed, last words) he could have everything. I said verbal wills aren’t legal (I think) and everything goes to mom. Mom didn’t care at the time (she had her own money, always keep separate from dads)

I gave up trying to sort it out over the years but mom has started to dither about it all the time. 

She is now in a care home, has been for 18 months (slight demetha). She will not let it drop, She thinks I should have had half ( I don’t care any more)

She wants me to sort it out before she passes.

Don’t know where to start. Is there anything what can be done after all these year? I was thinking of theft!

Thanks in advance.

Robin9

 Has your mum got a will ?

Cit6

Robin9 said:

 Has your mum got a will ?

No, but she has nothing

Keep_pedalling

It will be almost impossible to do anything about it after all this time especially as there will be zero records of the money under the bed.

All you can do is to try and reassure your mother that is all sorted. Unfortunately even if you did this today it is quite likely that she will forget what you told her a week later so will bring it up again. Short term memory is the first thing to go, but other things will be stuck in her thoughts for years.

Sea_Shell

After 6 years its going to be hard to prove anything.

Your brother could simply say that Dad "gifted" him it all there and then "on his deathbed", rather than after he'd passed.   Or he could just deny everything.

If the money was literally in cash under the bed, then what proof is there that this money existed.  No paper trail.

Trying to pursue this through any legal channels is going to be pretty futile, if not impossible.   Sadly.


It sounds like this is now all about Mum.
If you're not bothered about the money, and it's more about Mum's feelings, you could tell some little white lies to your Mum to put her mind to rest, in that "you've sorted it all out and you are going to get your half, so she doesn't need to worry".   As her dementia progresses, she may forget about it, or cling to it more and more.   

That's going to depend on how much capacity she has now, and in the future.    Only you know your Mum best, and what she might believe or not.   

[Deleted User]

You're potentially opening a huge can of worms.

You have little (if any) evidence of the 50k ever being under the bed.
If it was there, how did your Father obtain the money, do you have a paper trail?
How was the car ownership transferred to your brother? What else has your brother done?

If you involve the police and they choose to investigate, are you, your mother, brother and other relatives happy to be interviewed and deal with the consequences?

It sounds like you've accepted it and moved on. I would be inclined to tell your mum that it's all sorted.
I suspect she's not going to let it drop nonetheless, that can just be part of old age.

I hope you all manage to find some closure...

Cit6

Keep_pedalling said:

It will be almost impossible to do anything about it after all this time especially as there will be zero records of the money under the bed.

All you can do is to try and reassure your mother that is all sorted. Unfortunately even if you did this today it is quite likely that she will forget what you told her a week later so will bring it up again. Short term memory is the first thing to go, but other things will be stuck in her thoughts for years.

I was thinking of fibbing

Keep_pedalling

Cit6 said:

Keep_pedalling said:

It will be almost impossible to do anything about it after all this time especially as there will be zero records of the money under the bed.

All you can do is to try and reassure your mother that is all sorted. Unfortunately even if you did this today it is quite likely that she will forget what you told her a week later so will bring it up again. Short term memory is the first thing to go, but other things will be stuck in her thoughts for years.

I was thinking of fibbing

If it gives her comfort then there is no harm in doing this.

Cit6

[Deleted User] said:

You're potentially opening a huge can of worms.

You have little (if any) evidence of the 50k ever being under the bed.
If it was there, how did your Father obtain the money, do you have a paper trail?
How was the car ownership transferred to your brother? What else has your brother done?

If you involve the police and they choose to investigate, are you, your mother, brother and other relatives happy to be interviewed and deal with the consequences?

It sounds like you've accepted it and moved on. I would be inclined to tell your mum that it's all sorted.
I suspect she's not going to let it drop nonetheless, that can just be part of old age.

I hope you all manage to find some closure...

No paper trail. I think he just took the car and faked his signature.

Cit6

I cant stand that this will be on her mind till she dies. I think fibbing with be the best.

Savvy_Sue

You say she has nothing,  but if there's anything left it will have to be shared with your brother when she dies, unless she's able to make a will leaving it all to you.

You'd need to work out if there are times when she has capacity to do this, and use a solicitor. However you won't be able to be present, and unless you are sure she'd be able to express her wish to disinherit him then it's probably not worth it.

I'd fib. No point continuing to upset her.