Joint account and separation

Cryingemoji

Hi all

H has recently announced he's leaving me.

We're now in the process of trying to sort out our joint account.

He has suggested that he gives me £1000 each month to cover the debts (loan & credit card) on the account and that I keep the account.  (Despite the debts actually being in his name.)

I don't currently have any income, he does and is removing the majority to a new account he's opened.

Should I accept the offer or instead not accept and apply for universal credit? 

I'm struggling to wrap my head around it all.  

Thank you for reading.

Savvy_Sue

Just checking, are the debts in his name ALONE, or are you jointly named on them? And is there an overdraft on the account? 

If you're not sure what to do, you may be able to ask the bank to require all withdrawals to be by joint agreement only. It probably won't improve the relationship but it gives you a little breathing space, if he hasn't already moved any balance from the joint account to his own sole account. 

I can see no reason for you not to apply for Universal Credit, and personally I'd rather not be depending on an ex to support me. 

What's your housing situation? Any children? Are you able to work? You say H, were you married or is that his initial?

marcia_

Cryingemoji said:

Hi all

H has recently announced he's leaving me.

We're now in the process of trying to sort out our joint account.

He has suggested that he gives me £1000 each month to cover the debts (loan & credit card) on the account and that I keep the account.  (Despite the debts actually being in his name.)

I don't currently have any income, he does and is removing the majority to a new account he's opened.

Should I accept the offer or instead not accept and apply for universal credit? 

I'm struggling to wrap my head around it all.  

Thank you for reading.

 If the debts are his alone I would tell him to switch the DD over to his own new account and forego the money, unless you are married and need to come to a financial arrangement 

Cryingemoji

Thank you both for your replies.

Yes, married over 20 years, 3dc two of them are now adults.

Have checked our credit reports and all the debt shows up on his report, not mine.

Yes there is an overdraft on the account which we fall into & use entirely each month.

He's already arranged for his wages at the end of the month to go into his new account leaving me £2000 short to normal.

We're living in a property owned by my parents so they are not expecting any rent.

I'm in the process of applying for jobs..

AskAsk

if you are married then don't agree to anything.  apply for a divorce if you haven't already done so as that will be the certain way that you will get provision from him in the financial settlement.

don't pay any debt that is in his name only, that is his responsibility until it gets to the court financial settlement.  women with children who is not working will get provision from the ex husband when it comes to the court stage.

marcia_

 Personally I wouldn't be keeping the joint account open. Although its almost impossible to close or remove your name from it
 I would open my own account, take over utilities etc and set up direct debits for them and levee him to it with his debts 

RAS

It is urgent that you get your own basic bank account set up now. You can open one on-line today. 

Then, if there is money in the joint account, remove half in cash. Then give a letter on Monday to the advising that all further withdrawals require both signatures. Tell them you want to close the account as well. That limits your further liability. Otherwise your ex can strip the joint account up to the overdraft limit and leave you liable.

He is liable for debts in his own name. Just don't get involved, although they may be taken into account when the financial settlement is done.

This month or two are going to be very difficult. I'd suggest you check out information on local food banks, look through stuff in the house you no longer use and can sell. You are at a huge advantage having no rental costs, but need a UC application urgently as it takes weeks to come through. Even if you get a job in the next fortnight, it could be 7-8 weeks before any salary is paid and it's going to be 6 weeks from your application to get UC.

Cryingemoji

RAS said:

It is urgent that you get your own basic bank account set up now. You can open one on-line today. 

Then, if there is money in the joint account, remove half in cash. Then give a letter on Monday to the advising that all further withdrawals require both signatures. Tell them you want to close the account as well. That limits your further liability. Otherwise your ex can strip the joint account up to the overdraft limit and leave you liable.

He is liable for debts in his own name. Just don't get involved, although they may be taken into account when the financial settlement is done.

This month or two are going to be very difficult. I'd suggest you check out information on local food banks, look through stuff in the house you no longer use and can sell. You are at a huge advantage having no rental costs, but need a UC application urgently as it takes weeks to come through. Even if you get a job in the next fortnight, it could be 7-8 weeks before any salary is paid and it's going to be 6 weeks from your application to get UC.

Sadly we are already at the overdraft in the account and there's no savings that could be taken out.

I'm going to need family support these next couple of months, which I desperately hope is forthcoming.  I don't have any possessions I can sell, I really have nothing to my name.

marcia_

Cryingemoji said:

RAS said:

It is urgent that you get your own basic bank account set up now. You can open one on-line today. 

Then, if there is money in the joint account, remove half in cash. Then give a letter on Monday to the advising that all further withdrawals require both signatures. Tell them you want to close the account as well. That limits your further liability. Otherwise your ex can strip the joint account up to the overdraft limit and leave you liable.

He is liable for debts in his own name. Just don't get involved, although they may be taken into account when the financial settlement is done.

This month or two are going to be very difficult. I'd suggest you check out information on local food banks, look through stuff in the house you no longer use and can sell. You are at a huge advantage having no rental costs, but need a UC application urgently as it takes weeks to come through. Even if you get a job in the next fortnight, it could be 7-8 weeks before any salary is paid and it's going to be 6 weeks from your application to get UC.

Sadly we are already at the overdraft in the account and there's no savings that could be taken out.

I'm going to need family support these next couple of months, which I desperately hope is forthcoming.  I don't have any possessions I can sell, I really have nothing to my name.

 Get your universal credit application in asap and you may find you continue to get some when you get a job depending on your wage. 

RAS

Cryingemoji said:

RAS said:

It is urgent that you get your own basic bank account set up now. You can open one on-line today. 

Then, if there is money in the joint account, remove half in cash. Then give a letter on Monday to the advising that all further withdrawals require both signatures. Tell them you want to close the account as well. That limits your further liability. Otherwise your ex can strip the joint account up to the overdraft limit and leave you liable.

He is liable for debts in his own name. Just don't get involved, although they may be taken into account when the financial settlement is done.

This month or two are going to be very difficult. I'd suggest you check out information on local food banks, look through stuff in the house you no longer use and can sell. You are at a huge advantage having no rental costs, but need a UC application urgently as it takes weeks to come through. Even if you get a job in the next fortnight, it could be 7-8 weeks before any salary is paid and it's going to be 6 weeks from your application to get UC.

Sadly we are already at the overdraft in the account and there's no savings that could be taken out.

I'm going to need family support these next couple of months, which I desperately hope is forthcoming.  I don't have any possessions I can sell, I really have nothing to my name.

OK, going to be brutal here, both ways.

You need food. Make a list of what's in the cupboards and freezer.

To which add budget buys from the budget supermarket tomorrow, in the hope that they pass before your cards get frozen. I only see Lidl and Aldi as a rule. Check Asda if local.

Pasta, 6 adult portions per 500g - 30p for spaghetti, 45-50p for penne but makes pasta salads
Cheapest tinned tomatoes as long as your have a tin opener
Rice - grains not pre-cooked
A pack of lentils £1.25
Cheapest tinned beans or chickpeas, less then 60p per tin
Tinned tuna, 2.70 ish for 4 cans, in oil
Cheapest mayonnaise, 99p ish
vegetable/rapeseed oil £1.85 per litre
Eggs, cheapest 15 pack
Flour, a couple of kilos
Porridge oats - basic can be made into morning oats, flapjack, porridge or oatballs
Sugar, couple of kilos
Asda do very cheap basic budget unflavoured yoghurt
Raising agent/baking powder if you don't have it.

Check herbs and spices?
Mixed herbs
Oregano/Marjoram
Sage
Curry powder
Cumin
Chilli powder/flakes

On the other hand, if you don't need to pay rent, on what are you spending £2k???

You mention 3 children, 2 of whom are adult? What contributions are they making to the family income? If they are not working, they need to do so or apply for their own benefits urgently. And pay all by £20 per month into the household budget.

Cryingemoji

RAS said:

Cryingemoji said:

RAS said:

It is urgent that you get your own basic bank account set up now. You can open one on-line today. 

Then, if there is money in the joint account, remove half in cash. Then give a letter on Monday to the advising that all further withdrawals require both signatures. Tell them you want to close the account as well. That limits your further liability. Otherwise your ex can strip the joint account up to the overdraft limit and leave you liable.

He is liable for debts in his own name. Just don't get involved, although they may be taken into account when the financial settlement is done.

This month or two are going to be very difficult. I'd suggest you check out information on local food banks, look through stuff in the house you no longer use and can sell. You are at a huge advantage having no rental costs, but need a UC application urgently as it takes weeks to come through. Even if you get a job in the next fortnight, it could be 7-8 weeks before any salary is paid and it's going to be 6 weeks from your application to get UC.

Sadly we are already at the overdraft in the account and there's no savings that could be taken out.

I'm going to need family support these next couple of months, which I desperately hope is forthcoming.  I don't have any possessions I can sell, I really have nothing to my name.

OK, going to be brutal here, both ways.

You need food. Make a list of what's in the cupboards and freezer.

To which add budget buys from the budget supermarket tomorrow, in the hope that they pass before your cards get frozen. I only see Lidl and Aldi as a rule. Check Asda if local.

Pasta, 6 adult portions per 500g - 30p for spaghetti, 45-50p for penne but makes pasta salads
Cheapest tinned tomatoes as long as your have a tin opener
Rice - grains not pre-cooked
A pack of lentils £1.25
Cheapest tinned beans or chickpeas, less then 60p per tin
Tinned tuna, 2.70 ish for 4 cans, in oil
Cheapest mayonnaise, 99p ish
vegetable/rapeseed oil £1.85 per litre
Eggs, cheapest 15 pack
Flour, a couple of kilos
Porridge oats - basic can be made into morning oats, flapjack, porridge or oatballs
Sugar, couple of kilos
Asda do very cheap basic budget unflavoured yoghurt
Raising agent/baking powder if you don't have it.

Check herbs and spices?
Mixed herbs
Oregano/Marjoram
Sage
Curry powder
Cumin
Chilli powder/flakes

On the other hand, if you don't need to pay rent, on what are you spending £2k???

You mention 3 children, 2 of whom are adult? What contributions are they making to the family income? If they are not working, they need to do so or apply for their own benefits urgently. And pay all by £20 per month into the household budget.

Thank you so much for such a detailed reply.

We looked at all the direct debits for household bills which currently come to £1500.  I'm horrified by how much goes out.  Made up of utilities, sky, car stuff etc. usual stuff.  This is before the 2 large debts are paid.  It's no wonder we are struggling.  

How on earth my ex thought taking on another property just now was a viable solution I'll never know.  I'm amazed he's been allowed to take on a tenancy.

Yes two adult children, one living at home & one at uni.  The one at home contributes nothing & will likely move out if ask them to give money each month.  The other struggles on a part time wage to support themselves at uni.