Relationship Break Up - What Should I be Paying?

KayM34

So my partner broke up with me last month, quite unexpectedly after 6 years. We bought our house together in 2020, we are both on the mortgage and both pay towards it. Initially we split payments for the mortgage and bills 40/60 as I earnt quite a bit less than he did. My share did start slowly creeping up.
Last year I moved away for work (a once in a lifetime opportunity, and with a much higher salary, which he was fully supportive of!). Once I moved, I continued to pay as much as I did when I was still living at home. So my share of the mortgage and bills. As well as paying for everything in my new location.
Now that he has left me, clearly I don't want to be subsidising his bills like I have been for the last year!
I will still pay my contribution to the mortgage, but is there anything else I should still contribute to while we decide what we are doing with the house? Home insurance? Life Insurance (we have a joint policy)? Council  Tax? 
I don't really know where to start with any of this as I never saw it coming and have never had to consider it all before and I'm feeling quite overwhelmed. Help?

Stateofart

Sorry to hear that.  So, you're not living there at the moment at all?  

Is he selling or buying you out?

If he is selling, then really you are selling too so I would keep up with payments like mortgage, insurances (as it's your asset too) and really that's about it.  You have water rates, gas and electric, and so does he now you are both single so I wouldn't contribute anything else.  If he's buying you out, I would stop paying anything now.  Find out how much equity in is the house and 50% is yours. 

"To work out how much equity you have in a home, first get the property valued by a surveyor - an estate agent’s valuation is not accurate and could over inflate the property’s worth. Next, subtract the mortgage balance from the value to get your equity.

Then divide this by the number of property owners to get each person's share – unless there is a specific agreement that lays out how the equity should be split.

For example, take a couple who have a property valued at £300,000 and have a mortgage of £175,000. That gives them £125,000 of equity, which means the person being bought out of the house is entitled to £62,500."

https://www.tembomoney.com/learn/how-to-buy-someone-out-of-a-property-tembo-blog

KayM34

Thank you for such a speedy response. 
Sorry probably should have made it clearer, no I am not living there at all currently. I have been living elsewhere since I moved for my job over a year ago. I had been back for a visit around every 6-7 weeks while we have been long distance. Now obviously not there at all. 
We haven't discussed what we actually want to do with the house yet. My preferred option would be he buys me out The impression I get from him is that he thinks we will just both continue as we are and sell the house later down the line at some point. I think he will claim he cannot afford any other options - which I think is untrue as he has a well paying full time job and a part time self employed business as well. I need to be brave and broach the subject with him sooner rather than later I suppose!

Stateofart

KayM34 said:

I think he will claim he cannot afford any other options - which I think is untrue as he has a well paying full time job and a part time self employed business as well. I need to be brave and broach the subject with him sooner rather than later I suppose!

Yes - sooner the better.  As for the above, he hasn't got a choice, this is now a business transaction.  If he can't afford the house, it goes on the market and you split the proceeds.  If he can afford it (and it's probably the preferable option for him), he needs to pay your share out of the property.  There's no negotiation.  Are you married?

KayM34

No, we aren't married. 

RAS

Do you still have stuff in the house?

Is your job likely to revert back to that area? If not, I'd suggest you make arrangements to remove your possessions as soon as possible.

Otherwise move back in because that makes it harder for him to think he's now got possession of the whole house. In these cases possession is 90% of the law. If he wants to be a pain, it could take years to force a sale. 

Get a surveyor's valuation. Ask him if he wants to sell or to buy you out? That makes explicit that he has options but staying without buying you out isn't one of them

Once you move out, stop paying anything except mortgage and building insurance. Read the meters when you pick up the stuff and let the utilities know, asking for any rebate on the account. Let CT know. 

400ixl

Are any of the bills in your / joint names? Thinking things like utilities, Council tax, insurances, Subscriptions etc?

Ideally anything outside of the mortgage and buildings insurance you want in his name only. You can then contribute 50% of the mortgage and buildings insurance and if it is a requirement of your mortgage to have life cover for you both then that as well.

Other than that, you are not benefitting so they should be solely in his name and him funding IMO.

I would be giving a timeline to make a decision on him buying you out or selling. Maybe a couple of months so that he can investigate affordability (maybe evidence from the current provider they would lend, or a mortgage in principle from another provider). If not done in that time insist it goes on the market with evidence of it being placed with an estate agents.

Stateofart

KayM34 said:

No, we aren't married. 

Even easier

AskAsk

sorry to hear that.  yeah, as already said, just pay the mortgage, insurance and life insurance if that is required for the mortgage, then take your name off all the bills as only the person who resides at the property is liable for these bills.

tell him that you want him to buy you out and if he can't afford to do that, then you will need to put the house on the market and get your equity out.