Go on, do your worst ... I know I deserve it!

Jenna

Right well I've made my sig really really small now lol ... it's just so I can fit in how much I've saved towards paying off the CC otherwise I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere!

Yesterday was a NSD which I am rather proud of and today looks like it's going to be a cheap one too - staying in and cleaning the house today (or rather, trying to persuade myself I want to clean! lol). And tonight just seeing some friends who will be just as happy as us to stay in and have a cheap but fun night - beers and karaoke maybe lol!!

Right now I'm just chilling out and having a read through the forums - trying to get some inspiration from the other diaries on here! Must also order my Tesco shop online in a bit. Also I did a bit of research into this part-buy part-rent scheme (with the housing association) and it looks really good and helpful. No idea if it's such a great idea to buy at this point in the property market thou?! May have a wander over to the Mortgage Board and see what they think too ... but at the end of the day you have to buy in somewhere don't you, and if we hold it for a few years even if the market does wobble/fall then it will come back up. And even if the OH and I were to split up (not saying we are but you have to think of these things!! lol) one of us could always buy the other out or get a lodger or something ...

I guess I'm a bit worried too coz they're apartment buildings ... but maybe they are better quality than the ones we're in now? We need to go and have a look and see I think ... will call the HA again on Mon ...

But would sooo love to get onto the property ladder even if only a small share in a house, it would be AMAZING to not have to waste all the rent money each month ... and if it works out as less cash going out each month too well then! Ooh and I can't believe it but my OH seems really interested in it, I'm really happy as I thought he might just reject the idea out of hand!

Just starting to think about a year's time when my income will drop ... some benefits I am currently entitled to (for health reasons) will come up for renewal ... and I don't intend to apply to renew them. So I really, really want to be debt free by then. Otherwise I have no idea what I would do!! I was running up debts when I was ill* (for a whole variety of reasons) and now the benefits I get are going towards paying off the debt (as well as my wages of course) ... so must, must be free of it by the time they run out.

* I should add to that before you lot all get mad at me ... I'm still ill and I still get symptoms, bad days etc ... but since leaving my previous job (complete with high-pressure targets, 10hr+ working days and bullying bosses) my health has started to gradually pick back up. I still get bad days but now some days are getting better - and I'm really hoping that by another year's time, I will be able to regard myself as actually healthy again.

To that end then ... gonna do some research re getting a permanent job at my work (I'm currently on a rolling contract) and also getting better pay - I earn less than some people in the same office, who are doing less than me! And gonna post up an SOA in a new post in a bit and see what advice people have for me! (probably cancel everything lol) ... *wanders off to add up bills etc*

Jenna

*sigh* bit down tonight ... some things from my past have reared their ugly heads and it's all a bit much. Went to see someone about it last week and it's taken the worst of the edge off, as it were, but I don't think this is going to be a quick process somehow. I'm paying to see this woman privately but at a hugely discounted rate (there's a scheme to help young people apparently) - I'll get an affordable (just) price for about 6 months worth of sessions. Looks like the whole pay rise thing just became more important.

I can't really afford to go, but there again, I can't really afford not to go - if you see what I mean. It's been messing things up with my OH too. I've been to see people before via charities, GP's etc and it's never really helped so at least going privately I'll get a result from it.

It's really going to mess up my budget though. I can just afford it at the discounted price. The OT will be more important now, and I'm even more reliant on my DLA payment. I can "cash in" holiday days through work so that could be one option for paying off a chunk of money if we don't go away much this year (and being broke, of course, we won't lol). Need to look into MB too. Agh. Bit scared of taking the plunge there!

I should be in bed as got to be up early tomorrow for work. Just all worried and tense. I really do feel down and I know I can't just ignore it and hope it will go away but I do feel torn in opposite directions.

Sorry to whinge on. Gonna try and get some sleep I think. xx

Buffythedebtslayer

(((((((jenna)))))))

sorry you feel down hon xxx

what ever is going on, remember that whether we like it or not nothing stays the same. you will get through this.

Make a list - of anything how you feel what you want what you need to do anything, just to get handle on things - it always helps me.

you just take care ok


xxxxxxxxx

( I too need to investigate MB shudders)