Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner contribute to us repaying Child Benefit?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Over the past few years, I've been adding more and more to my workplace pension to keep my net income under £50,000, so my partner can keep receiving Child Benefit without having to repay any of it. But now I'd need to pay 26% of my salary into my pension, which I feel is too much at 39 - so I've stopped increasing it and have been repaying some Child Benefit. Yet my partner also works and the only joint thing she pays for is half of our weekly food shopping. Should I ask her to contribute to the amount I'm repaying or do I keep increasing my pension?

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Brie

You have a higher income and you want her to pay more? I'm assuming she also had the pregnancy, had the child and took time off from contributing to a pension for a few months and potentially lost out on progressing her career and possibly does more of the child care.  I'm assuming.  

elsien

I would suggest comparative earnings and other costs also come into this equation.
Anyway, surely you as a family receive child benefit whoever’s bank account it ends up in?


And how does your partner’s pension look in comparison to yours? 

nev.obrady

Of course she should pay. You're in a partnership aren't you? Or should she be a kept woman? If she values equality she would volunteer to pay. 

Agent57

I think you just need to have a broad discussion together on how you split your income and outgoings.

Could probably use that answer on most of these. Couples just need to talk to each other as every situations is different.

drjohn67

We did not pay equally for family expenditure.

My partner had reduced income due to working 3 out of 5 days.
I paid a much greater share of everything to compensate for her income sacrifice. 

My excess contributions were greater than the income that she sacrificed - though I quite liked the idea that we could all afford to eat out together and go on holiday together 😀

tacpot12

If thee only joint thing she pays for is food, then you need a bigger discussion. She should be paying something towards Council Tax, Water Rates, Gas, Electric, TV licence, Broadband, wear and tear on the appliances and house, etc. 

As others have said, it is for each couple to work out their own budgets. I'm lucky in that my partner has the same income as me, so we can pay half the bills, but in a situation where her income is much lower, the only fair system I have come across is one that leaves you both with the same spending money after all the bills are paid. This might result in you paying all the bills, but at least you have had the discussion and agreed that it is fair. 

I think that the only reason you want her to contribute to the child benefit repayment is that she isn't paying enough, such that you are being left with less spending money than she is. 

gothvixen

If she's only paying half of the groceries she has a very good deal. I think you need to look at the whole picture of your finances. I would always assume I should contribute to the household according to the ratio of salaries. Reducing her income (by asking her to repay some of the CB) because yours has increased seems wrong. I certainly don't think you should pay such an enormous sum into your pension - isn't the CB repayment far smaller, so you would still be winning if you continued to make the repayment yourself? I think her pension should be topped up, you paying a proportion according to the income ratio at that time, if she did miss out on contributions when she was on maternity leave. We have so little of the whole picture here, but what you suggest certainly isn't fair to her, despite her making only a small percentage contribution to all bills. I assume she does undertake more of the childcare so this arrangement is in lieu of such fees, though most parents don't expect financial recompense for caring for their own offspring.

saoirse86

I’m presuming the child(ren) she was receiving child benefit for aren’t your children. Maybe there’s therefore more to this financial situation and that’s why she pays little of the joint costs. If not, surely she could contribute more, you could continue to pay a lot into your pension (you may really need that if she’s not earning much), and she can still get child benefit? You surely know where her income is going, but if not, you really need to talk. 

frugalwin

Once you have kids, a fairly wide income difference can present itself that is nothing to do with the amount of effort either partner is putting in. In fact, the partner earning less is probably putting in more effort if they are staying home looking after children. There’s a fairly simple solution to this, but I have a feeling you won’t do it as you’re likely to “lose out” more, and the way you’ve worded the question makes you come across as avaricious:

Pool all of your income (including child benefit), pay all of the joint bills (including the tax charge and a joint credit card for joint expenses), then split what’s left equally for each of you to spend or save as you please. This is what’s most “fair” and fully recognises the non-monetary contributions your partner is making to the family by giving you both equal opportunities to spend.

Just_An_Opinion

If you can't talk to your wife openly about finances without taking advice from others first then it's not just money worries in your marriage.

Did she take maternity leave whilst you worked, does she cook, clean, pick up the child from school, has she sacrificed her working hours so you can work more?
Would you still be complaining if you were paying £1000 per month child care because your wife didn't look after the child as she had to work to cover her Child benefit losses?

Way to many variables for this to be of any help.