moving house

sallgrosi

Hi
I'm a 66yr old widow living in the Midlands.
My only daughter lives down south with her partner, my teen granddaughter and 2yr old grandson. Granddaughter's Dad lives here in the Midlands too.
I travel down every 2 or 4 weeks to help with 2yr old and take teen granddaughter home from visiting Dad.
My daughter would like me to move down there to be more accessible. This I am contemplating.
Their home is small. 3 bedrooms. I sleep on very comfy sofa or local BnB £40-50 night.

I have substantial savings and fair income. My daughter has no mortgage and doesn't want to take on another.
I'm divided as to sell my house of 45yrs and buy a more expensive property down south (money in property rather than savings) OR give more money to daughter to buy larger house, more comfortable for Granny staying. Throughout my thinking I'm constantly aware of protecting her's and grandchildren's inheritance.

I welcome all opinions and ideas.

El_Torro

Ultimately it's up to you whether you want to help your daughter buy a bigger house or buy yourself one. Some thoughts from me:

If you give your daughter a substantial amount of money now and in some years time you go to a care home will there be enough money left in your estate to pay the high care home fees? If not then the local council may refuse to pay the fees due to deprivation of assets.

Does your daughter want a bigger house? Even if you propose the idea to her she might not want the hassle of moving. 

Do you want to move down south permanently? Especially as the 2 year old gets older your help won't be needed as much. Will you regret your move when this happens?

Buying and selling property is not cheap. Would it make more financial sense for you to keep paying the cost of the B&B? Assuming you keep living in the Midlands and travel down regularly.

propertyrental

I think the key Q is where do you want to live.

Clearly you have family links down south, but what about friends etc where you are?

Plus we all have comfortable routines we set up where we live. After 45 years you know the locality, where things are (GP, library, favourite shops, church, community groups, bridge club wjatever!). A permenant move means starting again from scratch.

However, as well as considering the help you offer your daughter, you might want to look ahead to reciprical help. At 66 (I'm 67 so no disrespect!) age is catching up with you, and we can never anticipate what that might mean physically/medically. So another factor might be that being closer to daughter would provide help for you should you need it in future

RHemmings

El_Torro said:

If you give your daughter a substantial amount of money now and in some years time you go to a care home will there be enough money left in your estate to pay the high care home fees? If not then the local council may refuse to pay the fees due to deprivation of assets.

I don't want to scare the OP, but I'm in the same boat in terms of considering buying property for progeny, and I read this as background information on 'deprivation of assets'. https://www.careline.co.uk/deprivation-of-assets/

Brie

Inheritances are never guaranteed and very difficult to protect.  

If you were to sell up and move to a new place close to your daughter that property might still need to be sacrificed should you need a care home provided by the local authority.  You should be ok if you only need care at home as they won't consider a house you are actively living in by yourself.  

If you give money to your daughter to buy a bigger place or extend her current one then your current local authority would consider that deprivation of assets should you need their help even if it was in your own home.  They would likely put a claim on her house so they can recoup their money whenever she eventually sells it.  

If you sell up and buy a new place together with daughter (you in a granny annex or just within the house itself) then you might be ok if you needed care in the home provided by the LA.  But if you need to move to a care home then we're back to them chasing the money you put into the new house.  

zagubov

You'll save on travel, but in addition to other issues raised by other posters, your new property will probably be much more expensive than your current one, unless you're prepared to seriously drop your expectations.

You need to spend some of your money on yourself  while you have the health to enjoy it, rather than passing on a property empire to your children.

RHemmings

zagubov said:

You need to spend some of your money on yourself  while you have the health to enjoy it, rather than passing on a property empire to your children.

My parents didn't, in my opinion, spend enough money on themselves. They talked about doing a world cruise in their retirement, but it never happened. 

Bigphil1474

OP, I don't know of any child, myself included, who gives two hoots about what inheritance they might get when a parent dies. We told my dad for years to spend all his money on him, but he wouldn't. He left us a nice sum, but I didn't really need it. We're going to use some of it towards a newer house this year, but weren't that bothered before. If it was me, I'd speak to your daughter and her family and see what they think. They might love the idea of you moving in, or moving nearby, or even staying where you are! For some, having granny coming to visit is a lot different to having granny moving in (obviously not everyone).

I wouldn't worry too much about the deprivation of assets issue too much. It does happen, and certainly you need to be careful, but the council has to prove there was an intent to avoid paying for care, and your plans don't suggest that is the case.

RHemmings

Bigphil1474 said:

OP, I don't know of any child, myself included, who gives two hoots about what inheritance they might get when a parent dies. We told my dad for years to spend all his money on him, but he wouldn't. He left us a nice sum, but I didn't really need it. We're going to use some of it towards a newer house this year, but weren't that bothered before. If it was me, I'd speak to your daughter and her family and see what they think. They might love the idea of you moving in, or moving nearby, or even staying where you are! For some, having granny coming to visit is a lot different to having granny moving in (obviously not everyone).

I wouldn't worry too much about the deprivation of assets issue too much. It does happen, and certainly you need to be careful, but the council has to prove there was an intent to avoid paying for care, and your plans don't suggest that is the case.

Agreed. My parents left me more than I need. My siblings are all agreed that they would be very happy with how I'm handling the inheritance and at one fell swoop it has improved my life dramatically. But, I've just bought a house for cash (both inheritance and my own), and I've only received 1/3 of my inheritance. They could have spent absolutely loads more on themselves, and still helped me out fantastically. 

The link I gave above gave examples of what might be considered deprivation of assets and what doesn't, and it isn't a case of just any situation where assets were given away. Though, I'm going to look into this more. 

sallgrosi

El_Torro said:

Ultimately it's up to you whether you want to help your daughter buy a bigger house or buy yourself one. Some thoughts from me:

If you give your daughter a substantial amount of money now and in some years time you go to a care home will there be enough money left in your estate to pay the high care home fees? If not then the local council may refuse to pay the fees due to deprivation of assets.

Does your daughter want a bigger house? Even if you propose the idea to her she might not want the hassle of moving. 

Do you want to move down south permanently? Especially as the 2 year old gets older your help won't be needed as much. Will you regret your move when this happens?

Buying and selling property is not cheap. Would it make more financial sense for you to keep paying the cost of the B&B? Assuming you keep living in the Midlands and travel down regularly.

Thanks.
I was thinking as I'm relatively young and healthy and genuinely consider my daughters need greater than my own. i was hoping this wouldn't be seen as DofA. 
Honestly, ideally I would be in both places at once. though i would greatly begrudge the extra stamp duty and maintenance of a second property.
Even if i did regret the move later,  I'm of a mind where I'd make myself happy wherever i am. Life is what you make it. Though it certainly does factor into the decision that i wont always be needed physically.
Yes!! That is my feeling mostly. I just feel that I'd like to be there more immediately in times of need.

sallgrosi

propertyrental said:

I think the key Q is where do you want to live.

Clearly you have family links down south, but what about friends etc where you are?

Plus we all have comfortable routines we set up where we live. After 45 years you know the locality, where things are (GP, library, favourite shops, church, community groups, bridge club wjatever!). A permenant move means starting again from scratch.

However, as well as considering the help you offer your daughter, you might want to look ahead to reciprical help. At 66 (I'm 67 so no disrespect!) age is catching up with you, and we can never anticipate what that might mean physically/medically. So another factor might be that being closer to daughter would provide help for you should you need it in future

I want to be in both places. Hence my quandary. I feel able to make a life elsewhere should I find the right location and home near daughter. Yes I am most happy with my mix of sport, home, family and interests here but not averse to starting anew even at 66.