Missy’s full time working mum juggling act MF adventure

fionaandphil

Just what you needed then, a bit less stress! A quiet weekend makes all the difference when you're struggling

missymoo81

Morning, 

Well I’ve been awake half the night. Me and OH argued as I struggle when he’s away, so that wasn’t nice and I keep thinking and worrying about work. There’s been a change in management and I’m more concerned than ever about my job. I have a job until September for sure, but after that who knows. My boss is half of the problem and is trampling over people to make sure he’s the busiest and therefore more needed than others. I really need to save an emergency fund asap. I am trying to be productive and I have a course this week and next which should put me in good stead for possible contract work should all go wrong. My main problem is childcare. Trying not to panic too much about it as I can’t do anything about it right now.

In work today, busy day then I need to go to BILs as it’s his birthday. Need to find the money for his card. OH already got him a present. Children are still at their dads. Hate being at home on my own. Really need to find something to do with my time. I don’t have any hobbies. I read and go to our home gym. But I don’t do anything else, I literally have a couple of friends. But they have their own life and are always busy and I don’t see family often as they are much the same. I need to find something for me to do as I feel like I’m wasting my life. It’s different in the summer, work is crazy busy and I love sitting in the garden and reading in the nice weather. I’m just aware I’m wasting away my life and time literally doing nothing with my weekends when I’m on my own. But work is so busy in the summer I struggle to commit to Anything and when OH or the children are home, I’m busy with them and as ex works random times away I never know when I have the children or not so can’t plan anything. Sorry I’m just having a bit of a moan.

I’ve made my lunch for today, I’m currently under the cats watching gardeners world debating whether to have my third cuppa of the morning. With my spending money for next month, I might spend a few £ on some seeds and plant some herbs that we use a lot, and maybe some courgettes. I can grow them in pots and would be nice for me and the children. I wonder if we have any compost in the shed? 

beanielou

What do you enjoy?  

fionaandphil

Hi Missy, sorry to hear you're feeling down. Does your local library offer anything you might like or could you join a running group that is free? Any sort of interaction with other people might help take your mind of money.

For herbs I'd hold off until early March, get some supermarket ones from L1dl  and repot and split them as soon as you get home. I usually buy coriander and basil in March and it will last until about September. 

missymoo81

Ok,

I am trying not to panic. OH is on the phone and he has grossly underestimated the cost of winding up business….. he’s away but we are going to go through figures tonight over the phone and see what we can do. But I think he’s going to have to get a loan to cover it. I’ve had a look and he can get one over 16 months which would still end by the time we need to remortgage. 

This has been a really trying couple of weeks. 

😔

beanielou

Sorry to hear. Remind me what the gain is of closing the business? 

jwil

Hope you can get it sorted ok

Bluegreen143

Ouch. Are there any alternatives, like keeping it on a bit longer, or is it losing money each month anyway? 

Try not to panic. I hope this comes across as I mean it (that I care and want to see you succeed!) but I’m seeing a lot of “penny wise and pound foolish” in your posts just now… a lot of panic which is leading you to knee jerk focus on tiny things (like saving a few pennies on groceries by making bread) but then it’s like all your energy is going on that and huge, gigantic expenses like a holiday or thinking of a new car or paying attention to taxes are going unscrutinised. 

I know not everyone will agree, but it is possible to be too focused on minor frugality as the answer and then miss some of the big picture… I think you’re really hard on yourself and actually could really benefit from a big picture look at the budget to check that all your big bills make sense on your income, that you are putting money away where it needs to be, and that you have adequate and realistic budget for groceries and family expenses separated out so you don’t overspend. You really need to be looking at your expenses over the year and not just how much you can spend til you get paid again.

I also worry that the knee jerk “hair shirt” mentality of “I’ve overspent so now I just need to not spend anything til I get paid” also creates a deprivation mentality where it’s more likely that you will impulsively overspend or book holidays etc. 

Reading that back it maybe sounds a bit blunt so please take it as it’s meant. I’m going to leave it in case it’s helpful at all. 

jwil

@Bluegreen143 has very eloquently said what I was also trying to compose.  It is meant with love.

missymoo81

I know you mean no harm but I do now feel somewhat abashed and stupid for sharing so much. I just wrote a big heartfelt reply. Defending myself and my decisions…. But  I’ve deleted it as it just goes too deep into my life and back ground explaining things. I think maybe I need to step away from Diaryland for a bit and try and sort things out in RL rather than just rambling and oversharing on here.