Help protect parents' money from bullying family member with addictions

L6ZJE

Would be grateful if anyone has any advice please.
My close family member has suffered from addictions from her teens (substances, gambling etc) - she is now in her mid 40s. 
My poor parents have been trying to support her but she has lied, cheated and bullied her way through hundreds of thousands of pounds of their money, and they are now in a situation where there is very little money left.
They are desperate for me to take over their finances so she can't take any more off them but they both have capacity - they are just vulnerable to her bullying. She lives in the same area as them but I am elsewhere in the country.
Can anyone suggest a way for me to help them? Maybe where they can still access their current account but not their savings (without me agreeing)? I have looked at Lasting Power of Attorney, but think this won't be enough.  
Thanks

MattMattMattUK

L6ZJE said:

Would be grateful if anyone has any advice please.
My close family member has suffered from addictions from her teens (substances, gambling etc) - she is now in her mid 40s. 
My poor parents have been trying to support her but she has lied, cheated and bullied her way through hundreds of thousands of pounds of their money, and they are now in a situation where there is very little money left.
They are desperate for me to take over their finances so she can't take any more off them but they both have capacity - they are just vulnerable to her bullying. She lives in the same area as them but I am elsewhere in the country.
Can anyone suggest a way for me to help them? Maybe where they can still access their current account but not their savings (without me agreeing)? I have looked at Lasting Power of Attorney, but think this won't be enough.  
Thanks

As they have capacity then it would seem that they are giving their money away by choice, all they can really do is say no. I suspect that they feel unable to say no and so feel it will be easier if they get you to say no on their behalf. 

The only exception is if by "take" you mean steal, obtain by deception, obtain by fraud, in which case she needs to be reported to the police.

badmemory

But doing that to a family member is not that easy & is probably something the parents would not really want to do.  You could use a power of attorney, there is nothing to say they need to be incapacitated to do that.  Or possibly move any savings accounts to online & them not have the passwords for them.  That would leave them access to a current account for day to day spending & bills etc but not for extras.  I suspect that might leave you subject to a few abusive phone calls but if you aren't living locally I'm sure you could avoid those.

Brie

The only way I can see this working for them is for you to have total control of their income and then you paying out an allowance.  Maybe you also paying their bills online.  Then they can honestly say "no we only have £10 in our account" or whatever.

elsien

Poor advice from badmemory.
You can’t use a power of attorney to remove their access to their money, because as they have capacity they can override it at any point.  And insist on you giving them any passwords. To not then do so would be an abuse of the power-of-attorney. They can also revoke the power-of-attorney at any point if they tell you to do something and you refuse, or you could be reported to the OPG for misuse of the power-of-attorney. 

I would agree with MattMattMattuk. They need to be able to say no. That’s not something that anyone else can do for them.
Is there one of your parents who is more likely to give in than the other one? Would they be willing to cut off contact with the family member? I suspect not, but it’s difficult to help those who won’t help themselves.

Rob5342

They need to tackle the root of the problem really, they'll need access to money to live on, and if they have that then they will still be able to transfer some to her. As mentioned above could the money be put into one of their names if one of them would be more likely to say no? Could it be put into an account that needs authorisation from both of them to withdraw, or a joint account with you that needs your permission to withdraw? I don't know if accounts like that exist these days.

Other than that I think the only way you could actually stop them accessing it would be if they gave it to you and you kept it in their own account.

km1500

one obvious way is for them to give their savings to you - either as an outright gift or for you to look after for them but held in your name

there are obviously pitfalls in this approach but it is a possible way of protecting their savings

Sea_Shell

Do they own their own home?    Are they now mortgage free?

My worry would be that they could be bullied into arranging equity release to get their hands on even more money!!

Or has that ship already sailed. 

They really need to be the ones to say NO, and mean it.

elsien

Have they ever joined in organisation for the families with an addict because it seems to me that talking to people in similar situations, who know how family members will coerce to get money, might be an area of  support which will help them to see that they’re actually enabling her rather than helping her.

Keep_pedalling

They should certainly set up LPAs, it might not help with the current problem but it would give you better visibility of what is going on and should either of them lose mental capacity it will be needed.

Slinky

Can they put some of their money into fixed accounts with a long notice period? Obviously that then stops them using it themselves but it would at least protect some of it whilst tied up in the account (and benefit from locking in an interest rate that will probably be dropping in the coming months).