What am I doing with my life?

HampshireH

Garnigo_Tarmeister said:

Newly_retired said:

Something you haven’t fully discussed is the house. Has your father made a will? Has he left the house to you? If not, you may suddenly have to move out in order for it to be sold or bequeathed to someone else. This will cause a big upheaval and a rethink. What would you do if this happened? Even if it is not going to happen, it could be useful for you to consider such a scenario. It will force you to consider new possibilities.

Yes the house has been signed over and left to me, as has everything else of his.

Signed over as in its yours now? Or you will inherit it?

Either way, personally if dad isn't living there I would have a chat about making changes.

Make it yours, redecorate, new soft furnishings, modernise it (if it needs it) of course with dad's agreement.

But if he genuinely isn't living there and you are set to inherit then it doesn't make sense to not make it your own.

It may help with the feeling of living with dad as it won't visibly look like dads

Slinky

I do think the relationship thing is the key point here. I didn't meet my husband until late 30s, and only then because I went out and made the effort to find my special person. I advertised in the 'lonely hearts' column in the days before internet dating existed. It was pretty brutal even then, and even then I nearly missed finding the right one.

You mention your love of cats, could you volunteer with your local cat charity? Loads of women would like to meet a man who likes cats! Doesn't have to be cleaning out cat pens, you could do fundraising at car boot sales for example.

HillStreetBlues

Garnigo_Tarmeister said:

 So I am not quite sure what I am searching for!

Can be the hard when unsure what you actually want.

In your shoes you wouldn't see me for dust, I'll be travelling again, so many places to explore so many people to meet.
It's also hard knowing what you want, and are unable to do it.

Garnigo_Tarmeister

HampshireH said:

Either way, personally if dad isn't living there I would have a chat about making changes.

Make it yours, redecorate, new soft furnishings, modernise it (if it needs it) of course with dad's agreement.

But if he genuinely isn't living there and you are set to inherit then it doesn't make sense to not make it your own.

It may help with the feeling of living with dad as it won't visibly look like dads

Yes I think this would make sense, he spends maybe 20% of his time here, and I know he wouldn't have any problems with me redecorating. I've always felt that I would move out, so resisted this, but as time goes on I think it is looking less likely.

Garnigo_Tarmeister

Slinky said:

You mention your love of cats, could you volunteer with your local cat charity? Loads of women would like to meet a man who likes cats! Doesn't have to be cleaning out cat pens, you could do fundraising at car boot sales for example.

I am a bit pushed for time as I do CrossFit twice a week and run five times a week, but I have got an interview for a job at Cats Protection and I think working for a company I feel more passionate about would be a good thing.

Garnigo_Tarmeister

HillStreetBlues said:

Garnigo_Tarmeister said:

 So I am not quite sure what I am searching for!

Can be the hard when unsure what you actually want.

In your shoes you wouldn't see me for dust, I'll be travelling again, so many places to explore so many people to meet.
It's also hard knowing what you want, and are unable to do it.

Yes it is the classic case of Segal's Law, " man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure".

I've done the travelling thing a few times, and it is great but it is just putting off dealing with a problem. I am trying to schedule in shorter trips, but on a more regular basis, I've got a week cycling around Slovenia coming up so I am looking forward to that.

london21

Your posts is very detailed.

Try not to compare yourself to others, everyone's life is unique.

Living in my childhood home.

you can move to a different environment or make changes to the home to make it feel more like yours.

Work

Quite common but try to do a list of things you like and dislike about your role, a few years ago used to watch YouTube video about fulfilling career etc thought I hated my role but with time liking it and found that it was more the repetitive nature of the role but now doing a course but also no harm with change you will have transferable skills if you want something different. 

Relationship

this is one of my improvement area for 2024. be open minded, get to know people and not have too high an expectation, start with friendship. I am on online dating but can be draining as some don't want something serious but get out and meet people. 

Hobbies

seems you have this going well, the only other thing I can think of is adding a social hobby that gets you meeting different people and you never know can meet your partner.

All the best.

Garnigo_Tarmeister

london21 said:

Your posts is very detailed.

Try not to compare yourself to others, everyone's life is unique.

Living in my childhood home.

you can move to a different environment or make changes to the home to make it feel more like yours.

Work

Quite common but try to do a list of things you like and dislike about your role, a few years ago used to watch YouTube video about fulfilling career etc thought I hated my role but with time liking it and found that it was more the repetitive nature of the role but now doing a course but also no harm with change you will have transferable skills if you want something different. 

Relationship

this is one of my improvement area for 2024. be open minded, get to know people and not have too high an expectation, start with friendship. I am on online dating but can be draining as some don't want something serious but get out and meet people. 

Hobbies

seems you have this going well, the only other thing I can think of is adding a social hobby that gets you meeting different people and you never know can meet your partner.

All the best.

Thank you. I am definitely going to do some serious thinking re work over the next few months, work out what I really might want to do and how I could change career. Same re my home, I think I need to make it my own. Thanks for replying!

squarebear99

Garnigo_Tarmeister said:

Newly_retired said:

Something you haven’t fully discussed is the house. Has your father made a will? Has he left the house to you? If not, you may suddenly have to move out in order for it to be sold or bequeathed to someone else. This will cause a big upheaval and a rethink. What would you do if this happened? Even if it is not going to happen, it could be useful for you to consider such a scenario. It will force you to consider new possibilities.

Yes the house has been signed over and left to me, as has everything else of his.

Dare I ask whether there's any chance of the house ever needing to be sold to pay for your dad's care costs? 

otb666

I was also thinking this Dare I ask whether there's any chance of the house ever needing to be sold to pay for your dad's care costs? Also what if father dies and his partner makes you homeless or needs care home costs.