Watty's Awakening

redofromstart

Great news on the course signs up!

debtfreewannabe321

Fantastic news on the course sales! Well done! 😁❤️

With the memory thing. I'm the same. In that book I recommended a while back it explains in there somewhere (I'm sure it's that one) that when your brain is in one of the 4F's (fight, flight, fawn, freeze) over a long period of time your memory part of your brain doesn't work as well as it should because your mental energy is going towards the next fight/ flight etc. The more you bring your body back into alignment of peace and no stress the better the memory becomes. Or something science-y like that (science not my best subject). It's a case of making new neural pathways and keeping on with good habits that will get you out of a stressful place 😁

VNM sounds like my DP - a breath of fresh air and so helpful and kind ...we've obviously earned them 🤣😁

savingholmes

Glad the dentist visit went well and you feel reassured about what needs to be done. 

You are gradually making your house more yours. It takes effort and maintenance. I'm good at one off bursts of activity but struggle with the maintenance side of things. Could getting a cleaner help relieve the pressure on you and give you more time for things that earn you more?

WelshmansDaughter

Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment.

I am finding this quote helpful at the moment.

Watty1

debtfreewannabe321 said:

Fantastic news on the course sales! Well done! 😁❤️

With the memory thing. I'm the same. In that book I recommended a while back it explains in there somewhere (I'm sure it's that one) that when your brain is in one of the 4F's (fight, flight, fawn, freeze) over a long period of time your memory part of your brain doesn't work as well as it should because your mental energy is going towards the next fight/ flight etc. The more you bring your body back into alignment of peace and no stress the better the memory becomes. Or something science-y like that (science not my best subject). It's a case of making new neural pathways and keeping on with good habits that will get you out of a stressful place 😁

VNM sounds like my DP - a breath of fresh air and so helpful and kind ...we've obviously earned them 🤣😁

That makes so much sense.  Thank you.    I must read more of the book but I found it a bit of a hard read to be honest, but it is beside the bed.

I'm not sure about earning the VNM but I am very blessed.

Watty1

WelshmansDaughter said:

Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment.

I am finding this quote helpful at the moment.

Nice savingholmes said:

Glad the dentist visit went well and you feel reassured about what needs to be done. 

You are gradually making your house more yours. It takes effort and maintenance. I'm good at one off bursts of activity but struggle with the maintenance side of things. Could getting a cleaner help relieve the pressure on you and give you more time for things that earn you more?

I do actually have a cleaner thankfully.   Getting her made a big difference    I think I just put so much effort into getting my company to a place where It can pay me enough to support me that I have overwhelmed myself.  Also, the ex was very keen on telling me how much he supported me and my life financially.    The VNM is here so often that he does contribute to the bills and food (his own house is rented out and he was renting from him mother when I met him, she has moved back into her own house so he lives there but mostly lives with me).

So the VNM contributes to the bills and food but what surprises me constantly is that I am managing, not only managing but with just the VNM's contribution to household bills only I have managed in 18 months to replace 3 windows, replace a very small shower room and do work outside.  I think I forget just how far I have come in a year.   The drain on the household finances in the past was clearly not me but the ex, something I long suspected but was unable to clearly articulate as he always told me that the cash he withdrew he needed which I now suspect was being funnelled into another bank account.

. 

daisy_1571

I think that was definitely the case judging by how much else he funnelled off for himself physically when he left but also emotionally from you whilst he was there.  Is it not a classic abuse trick to tell the other person they are worthless while taking and continuing to take from them.  Lower than despicable behaviour IMHO.  Glad he's in the past 👍 

Dxx

Watty1

Well pointed out @daisy_1571  Yes.   

So drumroll, I have opened a regular saver paying 5% and committed to paying in £200 monthly, first payment today and I plan to open a Cash ISA to start with. I was thinking about a S&S Isa but got nervous in case I needed cash.   
This is so exciting because it is not quite a year since everything was finalised with the ex and for the first time I actually find myself in  a position to feel I can save money

Cherryfudge

That's brilliant @Watty1!

skint_spice

That’s great news Watty🎉