how do we protect my husband's share of our assets?

Short version:
I am married and we have 3 kids. I earn significantly more and have all household responsibility. My husband doesn't understand budgeting or planning (ADHD and a poor education). He has tried to learn but we have not made progress.
We don't have wills and need to write them. We own a marital property.
If I died before him I am desperately worried that he won't know what to do, and that he would be convinced by someone to sell the property, or hand over admin responsibility to a new girlfriend, or marry again very quickly and she would be entitled to half the house.
Is there any way we can put both our shares into trust for our children? I don't care what happens as long as the house I have near-killed myself working hard for goes equally to our children who would be able to use the sale to fund deposits for their first properties.

Long version:
I am trying to explain this as respectfully as possible.
I am the main earner by a long way (I earn 78K before bonus, he earns minimum wage), I do all household admin.
My husband has severe ADHD and a poor education. He doesn't know how to budget or logon to banking apps etc. He was in debt when I met him; he moved overseas and had been sold department store card loans for a laptop and ipod that he didn't really understand so they were out of control by the time I met him. He had taken out a bank loans to help his parents (who are even worse at budgeting than he is) back in his home country. He booked an expensive flight home on a whim on a credit card that he had no way of paying (he left his job to fly home for a 2 month holiday). In the UK he regularly gets parking tickets, fines for driving in bus/tram lanes, misses the congestion charge and doesn't tell me he took a wrong turn. These are all on routes he is familiar with. Our kids have football matches all over London and the SE and he drives them. His ADHD is severe - I accept it (in sickness and in health etc).
We bought our house with a deposit of 71% of its value. I covered the deposit from my savings and some inheritance. The mortgage is in both our names but the application was based mainly on my salary.
Our disposable income is split equally. His family live overseas so you could argue more of our disposable income goes on his needs than mine as it costs a lot to visit them. I still have to remind him that he needs to plan how he spends his disposable income, and I often have to help him see that he can't say yes to everything every month.


  • to add, we bought the house as tenants in common, but I stupidly didn't record that my share was larger.
  • As far as the house is concerned you can leave your share to your children giving your husband with a life interest via an immediate post-death interest trust. I recommend you make an appointment with a local solicitor to draft your will ASAP preferable with your husband to make his as well.

    You should also both make lasting powers of attorney especially for finance. Are any of your children adults? 
  • msb1234
    msb1234 Posts: 510
    First Post Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    You can leave your share of the house to your children with your husband being allowed to live in it until he either a) remarries (or cohabits with a a new partner) or b) has to go into residential care. In effect, he would still own the house but wouldn't be able to sell his share.
    Speak to a solicitor - its quite simple will planning. You can also get the TIC % amended but will need his signature. Again a solicitor can sort this for you. 
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 45,825
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    One other thing to think about is who would you appoint as Trustees of this trust, to ensure the children's interests are protected.

    And the Power of Attorney I'd say is vital. You can't use one to prevent people making unwise decisions, if they understand what they're doing, but does he have insight into his situation?
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Hi, thanks everyone. Great news that I can get the TIC% amended. Our eldest is 15, so he's not ready to be LPOA yet. I hadn't thought about trustees so this is good advice. My husband does have insight into his situation, and his solution is to always let someone else do it because he knows he doesn't understand. My LPOA would likely be one of my brothers, and my husband would probably need to chose a close friend or one of my wider family.
    Thanks again for all the responses
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 32,467
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Why would you not just ask your husband to make you his attorney in the LPAs?

    I can understand why you (and he) wouldn't want him as attorney on your own financial LPA, but not vice versa. Obviously, you can both also appoint other family members as replacement attorneys. And revise when the children get older, depending on their attitude to money.

    And is it reasonable for your husband to be an attorney on the Health and Welfare. LPA, or would he freeze?
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • To get the ownership split changed you will need to get a deed of trust draw up, and this will need the consent of both of you. After many years marriage this would be an unusual step and it won’t carry any weight in the event of a divorce. 

    As all your children are minors you then have the issue of who to appoint as executors as it does not sound like your husband would be a good choice.
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