From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

EssexHebridean

My Mum & Dad always stashed christmas presents in one or other of their wardrobes - the double whammy of it being in there (doors closed - private space), AND in their bedroom which I wasn't allowed to go in without permission meant I was generally unwilling to take the risks of going for a peek. Mum always asserted that she absolutely would know if I'd looked, and then there would BE no presents...I think by the time I started questioning the truth of that statement I was also at the age where I appreciated that if I looked the only person I was spoiling things for was myself because of there being no surprises when unwrapping time came round.

badmemory

The best hiding place ever is in the cupboard with cleaning materials.

I still haven't forgiven my 4 yrs younger sister for insisting to my parents that santa doesn't exist.  I had realised from way younger than she had & was keeping my mouth shut.  Believers get more presents than unbelievers.

We had the same argument years later about spending money.

Greying_Pilgrim

EssexHebridean said:

...I think by the time I started questioning the truth of that statement I was also at the age where I appreciated that if I looked the only person I was spoiling things for was myself because of there being no surprises when unwrapping time came round.

I'm hoping that LG will start to recognise precisely that EH. 

I don't actually think it's wonderful to know 'everything' all at once, and there is room for mystique.  Although that needs to be balanced with the need to know that 'secrets' aren't always a good thing to keep.  Much like at Halloween there is the dilemma about accepting sweets off the very people (ie strangers) that adults have been imploring you not to - for the other 364 days.  Then why are 'secrets' acceptable at Christmas?  It's a difficult one - but sometimes it's the 'little thing' or the 'after thought gift' or the thing that didn't get mentioned that brings the most joy on the day. 

If you know 'everything' that is on its way to you, how do you remain in the moment, or retain your equilibrium if you didn't get [insert desired "thing"].  And all that can apply to adults too - The Joni Mitchell CD in 'Love Actually', anyone? 😢

Greying X

thriftmonster

I found in the year there was some doubt that a firm "some people don't believe in FC but he only comes to those that believe' won one more year. But tbh there was a real thing generally 20 yrs ago amongst the parents to at least keep it going up to 10 yrs min.

Watty1

Wait ..hang on ..Santa does not exist???  How can you say that?   The big man will not visit you now.  I on the other hand will be blessed by dreams and goodwill because of course Father Christmas exists, he visits all the little children in the world. I know this to be true, I follow Norad.  (Wanders out shaking head)

Greying_Pilgrim

Dearest Watty, panic yea not.  'Tis just some misguided young 'uns that don't believe.  LG is still taught about the spirit of (Father) Christmas, which, as we all know, is an enduring fact, based on human actions of kindness.  Last time I looked, that isn't going out of fashion, and is open to interpretation in many languages, in many seasons, and for sure doesn't get tripped up by little details of lack of a chimmney; isn't reliant on physical gifts to bring it into being, and isn't a preserve of the young to be recipients.  We're all free to believe, and interpret the 'gifts' we recieve how we want 😉  They don't all come in a brown sack 😉

Tea was munched.  I was quite surprised.  Well, I was and I wasn't.  I ended up using tinned lentils, because I had some, but also they are slightly smaller than the dried lentils I had, and rang the changes a bit - whilst still using what we have.  I followed the recipe used by Linnae in her vlog, but like her I used lentils - I think the recipe she used (listed in the show notes), used pasta made from lentils, and no 'actual' lentils were added.  I also didn't add in some of the ingredients - ie capers and kale, but did throw in a bit of frozen spinach, and used both whole fennel and coriander seeds in the sauce (fennel in the recipe, coriander an inspiration from JO's 'Stracci' recipe).  I did also use some of my HM tommie sauce, in addition to a tin of chopped tommies, but hadn't got any wine to add.  I used spirali pasta, as I had some.  There was enough for everyone for tea, and some left over for LG to have again tomorrow.  It was served with grated grana padano. Linnae makes the recipe at 05.48 in her vlog, and the actual recipe is listed in the show notes for this video.  

I spent nearly £100 today 😱 but the vast majority would have been spent anyway - but perhaps over a different timeframe, although I needed fuel for the car - and I think it's been over a month since I last filled up, so swings and roundabouts (I don't travel so much now that we don't attend activity).  

DH is delighted at the beer bargains, and again, this will be consumed over an amount of time - even though it cost far less than a 'night out on the town' would.  

Ta for popping by.  Appreciated.  Greying X 

Blackcats

Missing our mums can strike us at any time and your morries sons  Robin visit so soon after your mum's death would definitely be a significant trigger for future visits.  I felt tears well up last week just because I used a reel of my mum's sewing thread.  

Talking of my mum she always said that she wouldn't want to say that there was no Santa because she couldn't be entirely sure that there wasn't.  She was a devout Catholic and another of her wisdoms was that she believed in life after death and if she was wrong she'd never know!

VintageHistorian

Greying_Pilgrim said:

Although that needs to be balanced with the need to know that 'secrets' aren't always a good thing to keep.  Much like at Halloween there is the dilemma about accepting sweets off the very people (ie strangers) that adults have been imploring you not to - for the other 364 days.  Then why are 'secrets' acceptable at Christmas?

The best alternative I've seen for this was on Instagram where someone said something along the lines of "Teach your kids that we keep surprises from parents, not secrets."

Greying_Pilgrim

Blackcats - I think that is very sound advice, regarding Santa.  I maybe don't totally buy into a soft drink marketing gimmick of the 1950's, but I certainly still believe in the 'spirit'.  

VintageHistorian - that's probably a better way of framing it - although I don't think semantics floats with peers in primary school.  But in the home surprises can be kept to add to occasions.  I still try to keep little trips away/holidays as a 'surprise', mostly on a practical level, just in case they don't come off.  I think the balance has now shifted, but there was a point where more proposed trips out/overnight stays and a couple of days away had been cancelled than we'd actually been on with LG ☹️ Usually down to someone's poorliness, sometimes down to vehicles not playing ball, and several times because the money ran out before the month did.  In the meantime, LG has got a little more accepting of disappointment - especially if there is a valid reason, but also they've accumulated many, many more memories from the surprises we have managed to enjoy together.  

Greying X