From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

Greying_Pilgrim

in_need_of_direction said:

.............  That said, i wasn't as excited about that as I am about the opening game................

For sure sweetie - hopefully it is going to be a great game - fantastic sportsmanship, great technique and everyone back in the locker room safe.  Unfortunately in this house we have a 2:1 split in terms of Green to Les Bleus - rather than a 3 to the greens....... We'll have to chalk it up to youthful inexperience 😜

👋 to redo  - we're young at heart tho - right?????

Greying X

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs!

Here we go again, Monday morn!

A wash is out on the line - triple pegged where necessary!  Hopefully the stiff breeze can be harnessed to dry the washing before it deposits it in the next-but-one-county along!  I have both linear washing lines and an (inherited) whirlygig washing line here, and whilst the whirly gig is by far the best set up (as in upright and actually 'whirls' in the wind) I have ever owned or had access to, I do prefer to peg washing up on a washing line, and have always found (given favourable conditions), the washing dries better for me on a 'line' rather than a 'whirlygig'.  There is one more load to get pegged out in a while.  Fingers crossed.

I will 'save' some money today, as LG's class isn't on this evening.  But in one hand, out the other, as LG went to a classmates birthday party yesterday, so a present was provided.   I am afraid that I just pop cash in the card for these things.  I have no idea what these kids already have/want/need - on paper most of them are likely to be from more affluent homes (although as we know, that may not be the case in terms of disposable income) - and LG has never attended enough parties to get into the 're-gifting' movement - which from what i gather is pretty much the norm.  I did check with the child's parent that a cash gift would be OK, as I know that some people object to financial gifts.  

Anyway, I start the week financially where I would have been anyway.  LG decided that of the £2 gifted 'pocket money' from their dearest papa on Friday night, they would save half and spend half, so £1 has been added to the 'C4C' pot.  In addition, they took all the 5p's that had accumulated in their purse and found that they had £1.45 😮 So that has gone into the 5p coin bag - with a target of £5 - along with a couple of 5p's found in mum's purse, and mum generously gave them a £1 coin in compensation 😉Naturally, the 5p collection is destined to go to the 'C4C' total, when we reach £5 anyway 😉 

At the party venue there are a number of slot machine style games, and so we had negotiated ahead of time how much of LG's money they could take to play the (additional) games, rather than a reliance on the bank of DH.  £2 was decided on, and I was delighted (but not surprised) to hear that LG used £1 to play a game that could involve others, and the birthday child and a sibling joined in with LG for a few minutes of fun.  For an only child, LG always has been good at sharing - which just thrills me, as they 'get' that sharing the fun, more often than not doubles the fun 😁  And gives momma a totally free 'proud momma moment' 🤣

Tea last night was l/o bean and veg stew from the freezer, mashed potato (using pretty much the last of the potatoes from the MrL 7,5kg potato bag), and steamed, shredded sprouts.  LG was delighted..... (not)..... but actually ended up eating all the sprouts first - and had more of an issue with the stew, as I had forgotten I had added a bit of chilli to the stew, and it had been a little too 'hot' for LG's taste 😳But we ended up with clean plates and 'pudding' was a MrL version of the mini-ma*nums.

I had made progress with casting on a blanket for charity over the weekend, but it is a new to me pattern and technique and I have got to a point where the number of mistakes is overwhelming and obvious to me - even if not startlingly obvious at first glance, so I will rip back and begin again.  If I don't do a good job on version II, then I will put the pattern out to pasture, as there is no point in getting niggly with a leisure activity - challenge yourself to learn something new - for sure - but don't tie yourself up in knots if it doesn't work out.  Mind, as many knitters and crocheters will appreciate, it is amazing how many times family members will interrupt you, despite the fact you are counting............ 😉🤣

Can't think of any momentous ways I will be saving money today. 

Right, off to peg out the washing.  Ta for popping by.  Appreciated.

Greying X

debtfreewannabe321

I always put money in cards for presents these days too. When my eldest was young (20 odd years ago) I would always take time to choose something, as did most people then at parties, but I noticed along the way everyone would give DS1 cash, and it was usually a hellava lot less than I was putting in to a present! So I switched to cash too going forwards...less stress and less money usually spent (after you have spent on wrapping and time choosing) and they always seem pretty happy to get money, even the little ones. 

Greying_Pilgrim

debtfreewannabe321 said:

I always put money in cards for presents these days too. When my eldest was young (20 odd years ago) I would always take time to choose something, as did most people then at parties, but I noticed along the way everyone would give DS1 cash, and it was usually a hellava lot less than I was putting in to a present! So I switched to cash too going forwards...less stress and less money usually spent (after you have spent on wrapping and time choosing) and they always seem pretty happy to get money, even the little ones. 

That's pretty much been my experience too dfw321.  Pre LG we found the same thing with young relatives, and when the one set moved to 'beyond visiting in a day' distance, it became that you spent more on postage than the present. 

I had been a little wary about making the leap for classmates, as there are so many 'unknown' variables.  But (thankfully) LG hasn't been able to go to every party they have been invited to, and of the ones that they have gone to, I have never had a parent say they would prefer a present over cash (but I do always ask).  Of the two 'presents' we have given - one was received enthusiastically and valued because it was handmade and unique for the child, and the other gift, no mention was ever made whether it was good/bad/indifferent.  But that child has everything (materially), and whilst they might not of liked the gift items we gave, which were based on their (slightly obscure) interests/skills - I still believe that LG was only invited to 'make up the numbers', and the birthday wasn't being celebrated in the sense of celebration, it was a tick box exercise for the parents who (seemingly) were happy/able to afford the event.

Greying X

edinburgher

@Greying_Pilgrim - the thoughtful consideration that goes into your approach to children's birthday parties is lovely.

Luckily we are out of the "loop" of parties at the moment (DD1 is now that little bit older, so noisy parties have become "2-3 friends out for an activity and maybe a nice takeaway aftewards"). DD2 won't be thinking about that sort of thing for a few years yet.

We very much found ourselves both the victims of (and the providers of) varying amounts of plastic tat, I never felt very good about that as I realise just how little some of it was/might have been appreciated. Cash is a very good idea and I wish I'd had the courage to adopt it. A work friend had a similar approach where they mentioned the fact that their child was mad about Lego. Cue all parents buying the child a (small) voucher for the Lego shop that allowed the child to buy a couple of lovely sets that mum and dad's finances probably wouldn't have stretched to.

Greying_Pilgrim

Oh Ed, we too have moved away from 'whole class' parties to a 'select' few - although I was surprised at the size of the guest list for yesterday's party 😱  I'm afraid that LG has sometimes been 'busy' when invited to a 'whole class' shindig, otherwise we definitely would be flat-broke.  But the events that they have attended have certainly been full-on fun, and I'm glad that LG was invited to those.  The least enjoyable parties were in fact the two where we gave gifts. The first one was an 'at home' party, which was fine, but LG wasn't quite 100% 'in the set' and so it wasn't quite as enjoyable as it may otherwise have been(the fact it was at home was charming - it's just LG was more a 'periperal' friend, rather than full on chum).  But the other party - which was at a trampoline centre - was enjoyable, but both me and at least 2 other parents were like 'why are we here, our kids aren't friends with the birthday child"......  

I think the purchasing of vouchers/gift card for specific things that the child is interested in are a great idea, as if you take lego for example, the figures are something like £3 each, the tiny little sets are something like £6 each - and take a nano-second to construct, so be able to get a kit that is otherwise financially out of reach is a great idea.  I would love to be brave enough to say, "Bring no presents, only your presence to our party" .......  but that does take nerve..... 

Greying X

beanielou

We adopt the no presents as adults so why not for children. 

For my mums last milestone birthday the invitations very clearly stated no presents as  just your coming to celebrate is what is important & yet people still seemed surprised. 

EssexHebridean

I think "onlies" often are good at sharing Greying - I remember as a child that having other people to play games with was such a novelty, being able to share was something I actively looked forward to! 

redofromstart

I am the middle one of many (some, many, lots) and I treasured things that were mine.  Even my Sindy doll got abducted by action man (no American Barbies in my parents house, and I remember saving up my money and walking to the toy shop to buy the sindy doll 45 years on)

I did love that  ra ra skirt though. 

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Evening MFW'rs

EH - unfortunately in our (somewhat limited) experience of other only children, the tendency has been for them to be a little bit self-absorbed, selfish and somewhat likely to inhabit 'planet me, me, me'.  Perhaps we're just unlucky.  Certainly we try to model sharing at home.  For example, if there is only 1 piece of cake left, we try to have the expectation that it will 'at least' be cut into 3 - that of course rarely happens, and it's more likely it is shared between 2, or occasionally one person gets it to themselves.  

beanie - I think that is just perfect, it's the coming together that is the gift.

redo - I wasn't allowed a Barbie for that very same reason - and I think...... was there a version called 'Pippa' as well?  Was she the British version of Barbie?  I wasn't really into dolls, and didn't really like Sindy - plus it didn't help that all the outfits and accessories were beyond the budget of my parents, even for Christmas/Birthdays, and there would have been no co-ordinating of relatives to chip in a little to achieve 1 bigger gift.  But how I wanted Sindy's horse.........

Anyhoo.

The washing was brought into the house this arvo pretty much dry - a little cold, but most certainly not damp.  It's on the airers now, but I am hopeful that I've not brought 'excess moisture' back into the house if you see what I mean.

I have given up with my charity blanket and re-wound the wool.  I frogged it back to the start of the pattern, and started again, only to have a mistake made in the first pattern bit, so I gave up and will do a different pattern.  I may well return to this pattern in the future, but for the moment, it is 'resting'.  

I did get a bit niggly with the computer this afternoon, as I couldn't get into the school system to try to complete something that needed actioning.  LG tried to help, but even their version of things didn't get me to where I needed to be, although it was very funny at one point as LG was sitting next to me, quietly passing me sweeties from yesterday's party bag 🤣  I know I am biased, but my child is soooo sweet 🥰 I did manage to sort it out in the end - I think I get most niggled about the fact that there is only the 'online' way to do anything - no other way exists anymore 🙁I did also take the opportunity to provide feedback on something that the school has asked about.   They are planning on bringing it in with little or no prior consultation and it is something which yet again has a price point attached to it, and clearly the assumption is that the bank of parent/carer/grandparent will step up and fund it.  The adage, if it ain't broke, don't try and fix it clearly hasn't reached the new management team, so I have tossed my two-penneth into the ring.  I tried to keep my point concise and targeted, but I have reached the point of fed-upness, as every email communication we had last week had some form of financial request attached to it.

I haven't spent any money today, so a nsd bagged.

Tea was a hotch-potch out of the freezer - it actually had an 'end of the month' use up vibe about it, but thankfully I was only using up stuff, rather than opening new packets.  I have now, officially, finished the 7.5kg bag of tatties from MrL.  I threw away one mouldy/mushy one when I bought the bag, and I threw away one of the two remaining baked tattie sized potatoes tonight, before I even cooked it, as looking at it, it probably would have needed trimming to within an inch of it's existence and was probably black inside.  So i cooked up the other baker and shared it with DH.  LG helped me bake a chocolate cake for the tin - they are getting so good at measuring stuff out and cracking eggs now 👏- and we cooked that along with everything else for tea, so the oven was full.

Today I am grateful for these 3 things;

LG wanting to help
freely proffered soothing sweeties.......🤣
for perseverance leading me to try 'once last time', but for the sense to move on and start afresh when needed.

Ta for popping in and having a conversation.  Very much appreciated, and nice to know (especially when navigating some of this stuff for the first time) that my instincts are sometimes along summat like the right lines.......

Greying X