From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

badmemory

Welcome to the world of geriatric mothers GP.  Yes that is what my consultant referred to me as, a flaming geriatric mother.  Does wonders for your confidence.  Unfortunately I suspect that my DS is going to land up as a carer as I have tried kicking him out of the nest but it hasn't happened & he is in his 40s now.

Greying_Pilgrim

badmemory said:

Welcome to the world of geriatric mothers GP.  Yes that is what my consultant referred to me as, a flaming geriatric mother.  Does wonders for your confidence.  Unfortunately I suspect that my DS is going to land up as a carer as I have tried kicking him out of the nest but it hasn't happened & he is in his 40s now.

Nowt's changed love.  I was termed that from the beginning before I got anywhere near the OBGYN.  Mind, at least the bar is now......... 35 years old????  The amount of people who told me they were branded geriatric mothers at age 27 for their first child..... 🙄  

Sigh.  LG is having a wonky day today.  Maybe they are having a growth spurt, but they are being contrarian in the extreme 🙄 And people wonder why my hair is grey.......😆

We had carrot, fennel & lentil soup for lunch, which is a Sabrina Ghaybour recipe. We have had it before.  It was nice, although LG was being a bit nowty and wasn't impressed that lunch didn't have pasta in it 🙄

Is it bedtime yet?.........😆

Greying X

FrugalHedonist

Regarding the aging parental, it is always good to think about this as it you can't a lm ways bank on a long life free of illness. My mother has always been a very healthy lady but unfortunately she was diagnosed with early onset dementia, this has led to my older brother (who already lives with them) becoming a carer - he isn't a natural carer. My father is still alive but does have health issues. I wish I could do more but they live a 30 minute drive away and I don't drive, and I have a child and a job that takes up most of the week. I was expecting to not have to deal with this until I was much older and they were too but life isnt always a straight run. However I'm blessed to still have them around at all 

Greying_Pilgrim

I see your point FrugalHedonist, but I don't necessarily agree that it is the preserve of 'aged parents'.  Anyone of us can encounter ill health at any age.  We may have children, we may not.  We may have relatives near by, they may all reside miles away.  I agree that none of us can 'assume' we will retain our health - irrespective of whether we follow good practice, and irrespective of whether our close relatives enjoy good health, or suffered from some medical condition or other.  But I do know that I didn't have my child with the expectation that they would be around to become my (or my husbands) caregiver should the need arise.  That is unfair - as is assuming that 'the daughter' will always care for mum & dad or the child earning the most money will fund private social care for the parents, whilst other siblings get to chose how they spend their income.  In my own parents case, they put their head firmly in the sand and didn't discuss these issues, and there was never any plan to make things easier as they got older/more infirm.  I realise plans don't always work out, but it is better to have at least made plans/had discussions that to have not.  

Greying 

Cheery_Daff

I definitely agree that it's best to have made some plans even if they don't all go to plan! And I agree it's often nowt to do with age either. Mr C senior is still bumbling about happily at home at 87 (needs a bit more support, but nowhere near social care levels yet) but my own dad's health isn't great and I can see him going downhill far quicker - he's currently only 66. Both are, in my opinion, not thinking about the future in any way at all.

I'm only 44 and I'm the only one of the lot of them who has done a power of attorney or any kind of planning! Lots of reasons for that though.

I'm sorry you've had such a tough time with your own relatives Greying, and to hear about your mum FrugalHedonist. Families are tough, illness is tough, and the combination can be rotten, especially if some parties aren't accepting the facts or making appropriate plans.

Big hugs all round xx

Sorry Greying, this isn't a very cheerful topic for first thing on a Monday, and I've ended up in a meandering ramble! (I even deleted quite a bit of it, would you believe)

Anyway, what are today's plans? Our weather seems quite cheerful today. Will you have a stroll, or make some soup, or do a little knitting? Hope you have a cheerful one at any rate xx

Greying_Pilgrim

Ay up Cheery - we're under grey clouds here 🙁 but at least the weather forecast now claims that we won't have any rain but a stiff breeze all day, so I have put LG's school coat on to wash.  I should have done it yesterday - but the forecast gave rain (which didn't materialise) with the strong winds - so will get it done today instead.  There is still oodles more days at school left to get it dirty again..... 🙄😆

LG has activity tonight, so I best rustle up an 'easy' tea.  We had omlette, mash and beans last night as DH was slightly grumbling about his tooth (excavation site).  When I (again) told him what everyone had said on here, he claimed that the gum was healing over, and that he could no longer see bone, so it was bound to be alright...... 🙄  I have said that he ought to ring the dentist and check that all is as should be.  He's a grown adult, I can't force him. 🙄

And apropos of nowt, how come pregnant people are defined by their age, and yet aging rock, movie and TV stars are lauded for still creating children in their seventh/eight/ninth decades...........jus' sayin' [rhetorical sentence]

I've just taken a quick look (in the light) that all garden fencing is intact - all is well.  None of it is in brilliant condition, but the one stretch - which is actually our neighbours - has looked in danger of collapse since we moved in.  To be fair to them, they didn't move in much before us, but I've never quite been sure whether they realise it's their maintenance call.  

I haven't got any 'easy' knitting to do, but I need to put away a couple of things.  Will do that now.

Ta for stopping by.  Appreciated.

Greying X

in_need_of_direction

As someone at the other end of the having children age group (I had both mine in my teens) I’m intrigued but what you and others felt.  I had always believed that I was the only one judged for their decisions in this regard.  Now it appears that censure applies across the board.  Thanks for giving an alternative view.

themadvix

'Excavation site' did make me laugh GP - not sure if it was an intentional Freudian slip or not  

Sex discrimination is alive and well in parenting ages! I always have to wonder when they say 'oh it's great being at dad at 80' how much they are actually doing - seems very likely that it's the Victorian version of parenting, without the middle-of-the-night feeds and exploding nappies!

Greying_Pilgrim

in_need_of_direction said:

  ......Now it appears that censure applies across the board.  Thanks for giving an alternative view.

Regretfully yes INOD - and then if we add in the pressures on people to be procreating when they perhaps can't or perhaps don't want to, have children.  Seems to me any and every option is WRONG in someone's eyes 😕  I count myself as extremely lucky to have got pregnant with a much hoped for baby, had a healthy pregnancy/straightforward birth and for my child to have been born healthy.  Although there are some advantages to being an older parent, there are also disadvantages.  But in many ways, I don't believe that we're any different to millions of other parents the world over.  Pregnancy and childbirth still involves risks and looking after other human beings can be hard work.  None of us comes with an instruction manual.  

We didn't think for a long time we were going to be parents.  I don't believe you have to be a child's biological relative to be a fantastic care-giver.  And just because you are 'family' doesn't mean to say you're always right.  

tmv - 🤣  but, but, but my BRAIN was wanting to write "extraction".......... what is up with my fingers??? 🤣

Greying X

Cheery_Daff

Excavation was certainly the right word for my recent tooth extraction 😮😂