Can't seem to relax or get a good night's sleep

Adamc

I have always had trouble sleeping. I actually sleep with blackouts, eye mask, earplugs, and hate to be disturbed or stirred. I wake up around 4 am but can't sleep further so end up thinking things over and getting up very tired. I feel lethargic during the day. 

Has anyone had this problem and how did you deal with it?

HampshireH

I have this problem I wake in the night and thats it. 

I do recommend sleep spray but I've only found 1 which has worked for me and its a from This Works called deep sleep pillow spray.

I don't use it all the time but when I've got to the point I'm exhausted after nights of disruptive sleep I turn to it for a week or so.

Also changed my pillow which had a temporary effect. I tend to rotate pillows every few months but have an adjustable pillow (you add/remove foam).

I found earplugs disturbed me as my ears hurt and I became reliant on them so went cold turkey on them

I did read if you wake and cannot sleep you should get up and then go back to bed when tired but it has never worked for me. Once I'm up I'm up.

MikeJXE

I have trouble sleeping and I'm up at all hours. I read every night sometimes only half a page before I nod off, sometimes a few pages

I have a very active mind and as soon as I wake I'm thinking of something 

I can go to bed at 10 if I am tired but I'm awake at 11.30, If I can't get back to sleep then I get up for a few hours 

It don't help much when I go to bed in the afternoon, none of it bothers me, I'm 83 and retired so I sleep when I sleep.

 I let my body decide and on rare occasions I will sleep for 8/10 hours 
, 

Teapot55

If I wake in the night I put one ear bud in (I’m a side-sleeper) with a radio station on my smartphone that’s mostly talking and with the volume very quiet. Usually I go straight back to sleep again but if not I’m either entertained by what I’m listening to or so bored it sends me to sleep. 

MattMattMattUK

I generally need a reasonable level of sleep hygiene to get consistent good sleep, however I have found a few other things really help.

The first is getting regular exercise, ideally every day, but if not a minimum of an hour at least five days a week. I get to the gym for 06:00 almost every weekday and do around two hours before showing and heading to work. At weekends I aim for an hour on one of the days and will hit a reasonable amount being out and about in general. Some of the best sleep I have ever had was during the first lockdown and I was doing 10-14 hours exercise a day (yep, screw Boris and his one hour limit) and I slept like a log, although that was also helped by the second part.

The second part is stress, over thinking, turning my brain off etc. Physical exhaustion helps, but I also need to burn off a chunk of mental energy as well. I find reading books outside of my day to say experience works well, learning uses up far more energy, so I make sure I read a lot of different things, psychology, medicine, physics, chemistry, engineering, autobiographies, economics, etc. Something that challenges me and allows my brain to disengage my brain from day to day thoughts and get to sleep.

The third is a collection of smaller things, no caffeine after 14:00, no eating after 20:00 if not socialising, no screens for half an hour before bed, a bit of music to wind down. These are things that work for me and I know plenty of people very them.

For me making that much effort to block the outside world out with blinds, masks, plugs etc. would fail, I agree with thr poster above who got rid of all of that cold turkey.

elsien

Better quality mattress? 

Spoonie_Turtle

Could be any number of external or internal factors!

I've been finding light has quite an effect on sleep - so low lighting a few hours before bed (or sunglasses if I'm in a room where the lights are necessary but bright), red filter on any devices I might use in the evening, proper blackouts overnight and a 10,000lux 'SAD' lamp for an appropriate length of time when I wake up (depends when I wake and how I'm feeling, as too much sensory input makes me more unwell and if it's late in the day, a longer time will make me find it harder to sleep that night).

There are of course supplements that claim to help, you'd have to look into those yourself but magnesium is one that a lot of people say helps.  

Could be hormonal, could be histamine dumping if you have any MCAS-like conditions, could be age, could even just be natural - there is research to suggest that historically people had two sleeps, the first early night, then woke up and did some tasks in the small hours of the morning, then another sleep until what we'd think of as proper morning.  Also if your bedroom is warmer than is comfortable for your body to sleep, that could do it too.

Sufficient physical and mental exertion is an important factor for most people too (assuming you don't have an energy-limiting condition or exertion intolerance).

As you say you've always had trouble it could be that your circadian rhythm just doesn't line up with what society expects it to be.  You might simply have to go to bed earlier to get all the sleep you need before your body naturally wakes up at 4am.  Or, if your daily schedule allows it, take a nap when you do feel sleepy in the daytime.  (Rather depends on whether you have a work schedule that would allow it, and any family responsibilities, of course.)

baser999

Until I retired just over 30 months ago I worked variable shifts - earlies, few days off, nights, over a five week shift pattern. It took me probably six months before I could say I was getting a proper nights sleep and a few weeks ago we decided to invest in a Woolroom mattress topper and I’m sleeping even better. I always aim to be in bed around midnight, having had a shower beforehand, and generally sleep right through now until 8.
So perhaps try a warm shower before going to bed and look at your mattress and bedding?

Reddleman79

I find that a good pillow is essential. In my case it has to be down, not foam. If I wake in the night, I tune into the World service on my radio with the countdown timer set to 30 minutes. I rarely hear the radio turn off.

Greatgimp

Right or wrong, I have a (not the non-drowsy version) antihistamine tablet. It works for me.

Longwalker

I never get more then 5 hours and feel like carp if I wake before 5 so I go to bed around 2am and wake up full of beans @ 7

Some of us are just wired like that. I gave up fighting it 30 years ago when I was a total insomniac going three maybe four nights without a wink

I too need a ritual, a cold bed and room and silence. I recently changed my mattress back to a sprung one and thats helping a lot , last mattress was too hot

If I do have a struggle to stay asleep, I dont panic, I get up and go snuggle on the sofa with a book. It might be 6am before I nod off again but its a deep sleep 

Like matt, I find daily exercise really does help, even a 5k walk in the evenings is good enough , the weather has been so bad I didnt get out for 3 days, sleep really deteriorated and Im really tired, but that because I went to bed last night at 2 and was wide awake at 4;30

I have a fit watch thingy that records my sleep pattern. Some nights I dont get more then 20mins of deep sleep, they are the nights where the following morning I feel life death warmed over. As long as I get around an hour or more deep sleep I seriously feel great