lending to spouses?

saubryn

We have separate accounts (but only because we both have bad credit ratings with different banks, so we've ended up with individual accounts with places that will take us), but we treat the money as 'ours' - the bills get paid, then we discuss what to do with whatever is left over. Not that there's normally much left over, though!

Most of our friends still have individual accounts and budgets. They also seem to argue quite a lot over money compared to us. I'm not sure if that's down to how they do things, or just that we're lucky to have similar attitudes.

[Deleted User]

Not married yet, but owned a home together for a year. We work on the basis of 'what's mine is yours'.. if she needs a tenner, i'll give her a tenner. If I want 200 to buy a wii.. she'll tell me to sod off, cos if you can't afford luxury items then you should save for them.

Thankfully, we have pretty reasonable incomes and the only time i would borrow money is if i didn't immediately have it in my pocket. We both want a rather grand honeymoon so we're very focused on saving for it

vonph1

Fleago wrote: »

It's "our money" in this house too. Eveything goes into our joint account and everything comes out of it too, including our individual spending money. OH takes no interest in the management of our money, whereas I check it online etc, so he'll just ask if we can afford it if he wants to take a bit extra out of the account for something.

Borrowing off each other and having to repay it would be totally alien to us. :rotfl:

Ditto!!! :beer:

lindsaygalaxy

Atfter disaster with my ex and now due to go BR, no way woud i ever share accounts again! He was nightmare with money, and now i like to keep control of my money.

If i was with somone who earnt lots more than me, then he would pay the same % of money in to the bills pot as i would.

penguin83

We pool all our money in a joint account. OH is self employed so all his wages are in cash which he gives to me to put in the account and pay whatever is needed along with my wages. I would find it odd to have separate money and far too confusing!

A couple I used to babysit for (they were both solicitors so werent exactly short) used to borrow cigarettes off each other and would remind each other how many cigarettes they owed - bizarre x

brazilianwax

Only joint thing we have is the mortgage.

Everything else is separate.

My parents always had separate accounts.

Zebedee69

It depends on how good your partner is with money. If your both very good then its perfect, other than that Id resent sharing money with someone who wastes it.

My mum organises all the money that my mum and dad have almost to the point where she has all the cards and stuff. Dad cant even remember his pin no most of the time! I dont think I could give that much control to another person ha ha! I like to know whats going on too much.

My ex used to spend money on daft things and the families ethos was buy now, pay later and spend everything. Needless to say her mam was a BR and had CCJ's and my ex was going the same way..........

My own view is that you do everything together including money unless there is a special circumstance ie: OH is a bankrupt, Bad history rubbish with money etc etc then I would stay seperate. I didnt build my rating for nothing!

alwaysonthego_2

Me and DH share our money in a joint account. I am a full time mum and uni student. My grants go in a seperate account to pay for books, petrol for uni and nursery fees. We never argue about money I am responsible for paying bills etc and he will ask if he can draw some money out( so we don't go overdrawn)

kogsawelly

As some posters say, joint accounts can work well if you both have the same money ethos.
Earning dynamics may change between both parties resulting in varying amounts of joint and seperate incomes coming in to the household - this can have an effect. Coupled with this, spending requirements may also change with time. Ones attitude to money also may change!
I think flexibility and fairness is the secret.
No wonder that money is a common reason cited for relationship breakdowns judging by some of the anecdotes on this thread!!!
Happy Christmas!!!

seven-day-weekend

azjh77 wrote: »

My Mum was moaning the other day that she had lent my dad a tenner and he hadn't re-paid it. My brother owes his wife 200 quid for a Wii..

This is all quite bizarre to my OH and me because ALL our money goes in one bank - all ours bills come out of the same bank and whatever is left is what we have to spend. I have never understood the concept of 'borrowing' money from your spouse, isn't it all both your money? Perhaps it is us who is the 'odd couple' and everyone else has their own bank accounts with secret stashes their partners don't know about.

I had a friend whose boyfriend used to charge her petrol money when he gave her a lift (they lived together and he dropped her to the bus stop on his way to work)

I know a couple who earn very different wages and but both put in 'x' a month into their bills account- leaving him with loads and her with hardly anything ...and he then goes out on a Friday night while she stays in because she can't afford it! If he earns so much you'd think he would treat his girlfriend to a night out once a week!


So are we strange for sharing all our cash? How do others work things out? And what do you do if your husband/OH doesn't pay you back?!?

We have always done the same as you. Any income is ours, regardless of who earns it, any outgoing is ours regardless of who generated it, We have a couple of joint accounts for these things.

Even our savings is ours, although we have rhem in separate names as it is more tax-efficient. Neither of us would dream of spending more than about £30 tops without at least informing the other one (usually it would be consult rather than inform).

We've done it this way for over 36 years, so we must be doing something right!