Paying money to my partner
I’ve been with my partner for four years now and moved into his house two years ago, he is 44 and I am 38. I pay half of all the household bills and food, apart from that I pay all of the energy bills because I work from home (which was my suggestion as I thought that was fair) and he has to pay for his fuel to go to go work, which I don’t. He has two children (I have none of my own and don’t wish for any, we made that as a joint decision) and they stay with us on average of three days a week. Because I work from home I do a lot of the school runs and actively care for his children as he can work longer hours than me, which I’m happy to do, they’re lovely kids. They are 8 and 11 and we are very much a family unit when we are together, sharing all aspects of the childcare.
Since I moved in we decided that instead of me contributing a rental payment towards his mortgage that I would save instead towards our next chapter. We have decided to stay in his house and make home improvements instead of moving, so we are currently having a loft conversion. This is around £50k and the money I’ve saved is going to pay for half of it. At this point we have decided that I will start to contribute half towards the mortgage payments (with the appropriate legal paperwork and documentation in place to protect us both- we are both very transparent and honest with each other and are happy that the other is protecting themselves).
This is all fine, except that he has a rental property that he is going to sell and potentially look at paying off a large chunk/all of the mortgage on the house that we live in. He wants me to continue making payments to him so that one day I will own half of the house we live in. Owning half of the house isn’t important to me and he can’t understand why I can’t see this as a fantastic investment opportunity, which of course it would be if I was that way inclined! I am happy to split everything in half moving forward: mortgage payments, bills, home improvement, furnishings, everything. He seems to dislike the idea that I should be benefitting from him in this way, even though I am happy with disproportionate ownership. The house would be left to his children, if we are lucky enough to be able to pass it on. It kind of feels a bit transactional that I would continue to pay rent to him even if the mortgage has been paid off, just so that I can own half of the house, which I don’t really have my heart set on. He is very unhappy with me and I can’t figure it out in my head what is the right thing to do or say, I’d be so grateful for some insights.
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